Stage 4-Not doing treatment

I cannot give you any reasonable prediction without having your husband’s medical records, and even then – if you asked his doctor – such a prediction is not very reliable as melanoma and the folks who have it vary greatly. My best recommendation is that you speak with your local Hospice group. They are no longer a resource strictly for the “days before passing”. They give a great deal of help in coping, pain management, and family support. Even if your husband won’t agree to participate, they may have information and support that will help you. Sorry for all the pain and sorrow you must be dealing with. There are also many support groups for caregivers that you may find helpful. Your local hospital (or husband’s oncologist) should have a social service department that point you in the right direction. A referral to a pain specialist may be helpful as well. I wish you both my best. Celeste

I’m sorry. If this was my spouse, I would probably speak to my husbands doctors. I’d want to confirm that we had realistically exhausted treatment options and that the decision to refuse treatments wasn’t grounded in temporary depression etc but aligned with his probable health outcomes. Not that I wouldn’t respect my spouse’s choices, but maybe an antidepressant might help,

I don’t know if your husband has brain mets or not, but this brain tumor board has several very helpful and compassionate threads about end of life care and hospice. https://www.inspire.com/groups/american-brain-tumor-association?source=email&utm_source=email&utm_medium=AS&utm_campaign=AS&utm_content=2020-06-08 I’ve had brain mets several times and I found it very helpful to understand What options look like.

Hi Anon;
First, please make up a name for your posts as then people can refer to your past posts and know what you have said before..and what the history is. I don’t answer a lot as people like Celeste (Bubbles) are much better than me with the clinical stuff. Unfortunately, when it comes to end of life care however, I do have the experience. My first wife had breast cancer, then scleroderma and passed away in hospice care while I cared for her here at home, last year my dad passed away while in hospice care. They are wonderful and only do what you want them to. They provide a great amount of resources and can help you a lot. I am also a stage IV survivor. If your spouse does not want to participate, all you can do is be loving and seek your own counsel while you care for him. God Bless and keep in touch here!
Ted