So anxious

I think the field of “onco-psychology” has more of a need than resources that currently exist.  Having this disease, even at an early stage, really messes with our minds and our fears and anxieties etc….and it seems like this is becoming even more prevalent.  There is a real need for patients to be treated for the mental aspect of this – even more than the physical aspect, for early stagers, where long after WLE is done and over, the mental part remains very active.  I always thought it was just me, that I was crazy. But now I realize these feelings are very normal because I am hearing about so many others also having them

I think the field of “onco-psychology” has more of a need than resources that currently exist.  Having this disease, even at an early stage, really messes with our minds and our fears and anxieties etc….and it seems like this is becoming even more prevalent.  There is a real need for patients to be treated for the mental aspect of this – even more than the physical aspect, for early stagers, where long after WLE is done and over, the mental part remains very active.  I always thought it was just me, that I was crazy. But now I realize these feelings are very normal because I am hearing about so many others also having them

I think the field of “onco-psychology” has more of a need than resources that currently exist.  Having this disease, even at an early stage, really messes with our minds and our fears and anxieties etc….and it seems like this is becoming even more prevalent.  There is a real need for patients to be treated for the mental aspect of this – even more than the physical aspect, for early stagers, where long after WLE is done and over, the mental part remains very active.  I always thought it was just me, that I was crazy. But now I realize these feelings are very normal because I am hearing about so many others also having them

Take a long, deep breath.  Close your eyes and visualize holding that sweet baby in your arms.  Put on some fun children's music and sing along.  (No lullabies — they'll make you cry.)   Your pregnancy hormones are making you crazy, and that is very, very normal.  

That being said, anxiety will NOT help your baby in any fashion.  Stress impacts all of your body's systems, and that baby needs your body functioning at 100% capacity to get here healthy and strong.  Stay off the internet — especially the melanoma sites.  Most of the information you will find about melanoma is a) outdated and b) skewed to reflect the low percentage of folks who have a recurrence.  You don't find lots of stories about the 98% of people who have a Stage 1 melanoma and *never* have another issue.  

You've got lots to do, Momma.  Get in some pregnancy exercises, fix a bunch of freezer crock-pot meals for after delivery, furnish that nursery, crochet a receiving blanket.  Soak in and enjoy every moment of this pregnancy.  Don't waste it by being anxious about a non-problem!!

Take a long, deep breath.  Close your eyes and visualize holding that sweet baby in your arms.  Put on some fun children's music and sing along.  (No lullabies — they'll make you cry.)   Your pregnancy hormones are making you crazy, and that is very, very normal.  

That being said, anxiety will NOT help your baby in any fashion.  Stress impacts all of your body's systems, and that baby needs your body functioning at 100% capacity to get here healthy and strong.  Stay off the internet — especially the melanoma sites.  Most of the information you will find about melanoma is a) outdated and b) skewed to reflect the low percentage of folks who have a recurrence.  You don't find lots of stories about the 98% of people who have a Stage 1 melanoma and *never* have another issue.  

You've got lots to do, Momma.  Get in some pregnancy exercises, fix a bunch of freezer crock-pot meals for after delivery, furnish that nursery, crochet a receiving blanket.  Soak in and enjoy every moment of this pregnancy.  Don't waste it by being anxious about a non-problem!!

Take a long, deep breath.  Close your eyes and visualize holding that sweet baby in your arms.  Put on some fun children's music and sing along.  (No lullabies — they'll make you cry.)   Your pregnancy hormones are making you crazy, and that is very, very normal.  

That being said, anxiety will NOT help your baby in any fashion.  Stress impacts all of your body's systems, and that baby needs your body functioning at 100% capacity to get here healthy and strong.  Stay off the internet — especially the melanoma sites.  Most of the information you will find about melanoma is a) outdated and b) skewed to reflect the low percentage of folks who have a recurrence.  You don't find lots of stories about the 98% of people who have a Stage 1 melanoma and *never* have another issue.  

You've got lots to do, Momma.  Get in some pregnancy exercises, fix a bunch of freezer crock-pot meals for after delivery, furnish that nursery, crochet a receiving blanket.  Soak in and enjoy every moment of this pregnancy.  Don't waste it by being anxious about a non-problem!!

Hi,

First things first- on the basis of the information you provide- your risk of progression was very low. If you were to be one of the unlucky few who progress from a stage 1 melanoma – this is more likely to happen in the first three years following diagnosis- hence this is where time and effort is spent on follow up. You noticed a mole that was a bit funny and so this naturally made you wonder if it could be malignant and being pregnant makes us think about what the future will bring for our children and it is not unusual to have a mixture of  excitement and fear arouond this time.

You need to try to get your fears into somekind of perspective. You have worked your way through the highest risk period ( even though that was low ) for someone with your diagnosis. Don't let your fears stop you from living your life. If you stop and think about it we all have risk scores for various health problems from heart disease to breast cancer… but the fear of these maybe happening does not stop you from living and functioning normally. You have so much excitement to look forward to over the next year- the birth, first cuddle, first laugh, first tooth and all the other milestones that will come so fast. This board is mainly populated by those who have had their melanoma picked up at a later stage or who were the small percentage who were unlucky and got the statistically unlikely progression. Worry if and when you have cause to but in the meantime take sensible measures re the sum, maybe get your Vit  D levels checked and supplement if below optimum. Prepare for this new person coming into your life and love them to bits.

Also keep in mind that pregnancy can play havoc with your hormones and that it is possible that your hormonal states is changing the way you feel about things. My problems always seemed so much greater when I was suffering with PMT- same issues but they just felt magnified at that time. It might be worth mentioning to your doctor or midwife and maybe get them to keep a closer eye on you for signs of post natal depression after the birth.

Good luck for 2017. I am sure you will be fine but please seek help if you continue to struggle with this

Deb

Hi,

First things first- on the basis of the information you provide- your risk of progression was very low. If you were to be one of the unlucky few who progress from a stage 1 melanoma – this is more likely to happen in the first three years following diagnosis- hence this is where time and effort is spent on follow up. You noticed a mole that was a bit funny and so this naturally made you wonder if it could be malignant and being pregnant makes us think about what the future will bring for our children and it is not unusual to have a mixture of  excitement and fear arouond this time.

You need to try to get your fears into somekind of perspective. You have worked your way through the highest risk period ( even though that was low ) for someone with your diagnosis. Don't let your fears stop you from living your life. If you stop and think about it we all have risk scores for various health problems from heart disease to breast cancer… but the fear of these maybe happening does not stop you from living and functioning normally. You have so much excitement to look forward to over the next year- the birth, first cuddle, first laugh, first tooth and all the other milestones that will come so fast. This board is mainly populated by those who have had their melanoma picked up at a later stage or who were the small percentage who were unlucky and got the statistically unlikely progression. Worry if and when you have cause to but in the meantime take sensible measures re the sum, maybe get your Vit  D levels checked and supplement if below optimum. Prepare for this new person coming into your life and love them to bits.

Also keep in mind that pregnancy can play havoc with your hormones and that it is possible that your hormonal states is changing the way you feel about things. My problems always seemed so much greater when I was suffering with PMT- same issues but they just felt magnified at that time. It might be worth mentioning to your doctor or midwife and maybe get them to keep a closer eye on you for signs of post natal depression after the birth.

Good luck for 2017. I am sure you will be fine but please seek help if you continue to struggle with this

Deb

Hi,

First things first- on the basis of the information you provide- your risk of progression was very low. If you were to be one of the unlucky few who progress from a stage 1 melanoma – this is more likely to happen in the first three years following diagnosis- hence this is where time and effort is spent on follow up. You noticed a mole that was a bit funny and so this naturally made you wonder if it could be malignant and being pregnant makes us think about what the future will bring for our children and it is not unusual to have a mixture of  excitement and fear arouond this time.

You need to try to get your fears into somekind of perspective. You have worked your way through the highest risk period ( even though that was low ) for someone with your diagnosis. Don't let your fears stop you from living your life. If you stop and think about it we all have risk scores for various health problems from heart disease to breast cancer… but the fear of these maybe happening does not stop you from living and functioning normally. You have so much excitement to look forward to over the next year- the birth, first cuddle, first laugh, first tooth and all the other milestones that will come so fast. This board is mainly populated by those who have had their melanoma picked up at a later stage or who were the small percentage who were unlucky and got the statistically unlikely progression. Worry if and when you have cause to but in the meantime take sensible measures re the sum, maybe get your Vit  D levels checked and supplement if below optimum. Prepare for this new person coming into your life and love them to bits.

Also keep in mind that pregnancy can play havoc with your hormones and that it is possible that your hormonal states is changing the way you feel about things. My problems always seemed so much greater when I was suffering with PMT- same issues but they just felt magnified at that time. It might be worth mentioning to your doctor or midwife and maybe get them to keep a closer eye on you for signs of post natal depression after the birth.

Good luck for 2017. I am sure you will be fine but please seek help if you continue to struggle with this

Deb

Everyone deals with this – some better than others.  I can only offer these thoughts.

Stay off the internet.  Period.  There is no better way to help your anxiety because "researching" accomplishes nothing except increase in anxiety.  The internet is inherently skewed toward the worst cases.  The best cases — the vast majority of early stage melanoma warriors — have no need to post their stories.  You only see the "exceptions".  Your pregnancy only heightens these fears.

Right now, melanoma has already won.  You have let it win by taking control of your fears.  It most likely will NEVER come back but it already has because it is affecting your life now.  Don't let it  have control over you.  I spent years researching everything I could find and causing myself endless stress after I found my 3rd primary.  (Internet didn't even exist when I found my first).  So now I know a lot about melanoma and try to help people here to justify that manic mode I had.  I actually did use my knowledge in my real life – not for me – but for my adoptive father who ended up having melanoma.  But I have never used it for me.  15 years since my last primary and all the angst and I'm still melanoma free.  Even now, I still can't let go completely or I wouldn't be here answering this post.

Figure out the things you have control over.  1.  Internet.  2.  Sun safety.  3. Skin monitoring.  4. Derm visits.  5. Other doctor visits.  These are the things you can do to help yourself move forward.  You have control over these things.  What you need to do is figure out a coping mechanism to let go of the rest.  Maybe that involves searching out a couselor?  I know it involves staying off the internet.  I guarantee that will help.  I have worked with countless early stagers over the years I've been on this site and that is the #1 way to cut back on melanoma stress.  There are some, like our anon poster on this thread, that can't let it go either.  But even they are still melanoma free despite all the anxiety.  🙂

Everyone deals with this – some better than others.  I can only offer these thoughts.

Stay off the internet.  Period.  There is no better way to help your anxiety because "researching" accomplishes nothing except increase in anxiety.  The internet is inherently skewed toward the worst cases.  The best cases — the vast majority of early stage melanoma warriors — have no need to post their stories.  You only see the "exceptions".  Your pregnancy only heightens these fears.

Right now, melanoma has already won.  You have let it win by taking control of your fears.  It most likely will NEVER come back but it already has because it is affecting your life now.  Don't let it  have control over you.  I spent years researching everything I could find and causing myself endless stress after I found my 3rd primary.  (Internet didn't even exist when I found my first).  So now I know a lot about melanoma and try to help people here to justify that manic mode I had.  I actually did use my knowledge in my real life – not for me – but for my adoptive father who ended up having melanoma.  But I have never used it for me.  15 years since my last primary and all the angst and I'm still melanoma free.  Even now, I still can't let go completely or I wouldn't be here answering this post.

Figure out the things you have control over.  1.  Internet.  2.  Sun safety.  3. Skin monitoring.  4. Derm visits.  5. Other doctor visits.  These are the things you can do to help yourself move forward.  You have control over these things.  What you need to do is figure out a coping mechanism to let go of the rest.  Maybe that involves searching out a couselor?  I know it involves staying off the internet.  I guarantee that will help.  I have worked with countless early stagers over the years I've been on this site and that is the #1 way to cut back on melanoma stress.  There are some, like our anon poster on this thread, that can't let it go either.  But even they are still melanoma free despite all the anxiety.  🙂

Everyone deals with this – some better than others.  I can only offer these thoughts.

Stay off the internet.  Period.  There is no better way to help your anxiety because "researching" accomplishes nothing except increase in anxiety.  The internet is inherently skewed toward the worst cases.  The best cases — the vast majority of early stage melanoma warriors — have no need to post their stories.  You only see the "exceptions".  Your pregnancy only heightens these fears.

Right now, melanoma has already won.  You have let it win by taking control of your fears.  It most likely will NEVER come back but it already has because it is affecting your life now.  Don't let it  have control over you.  I spent years researching everything I could find and causing myself endless stress after I found my 3rd primary.  (Internet didn't even exist when I found my first).  So now I know a lot about melanoma and try to help people here to justify that manic mode I had.  I actually did use my knowledge in my real life – not for me – but for my adoptive father who ended up having melanoma.  But I have never used it for me.  15 years since my last primary and all the angst and I'm still melanoma free.  Even now, I still can't let go completely or I wouldn't be here answering this post.

Figure out the things you have control over.  1.  Internet.  2.  Sun safety.  3. Skin monitoring.  4. Derm visits.  5. Other doctor visits.  These are the things you can do to help yourself move forward.  You have control over these things.  What you need to do is figure out a coping mechanism to let go of the rest.  Maybe that involves searching out a couselor?  I know it involves staying off the internet.  I guarantee that will help.  I have worked with countless early stagers over the years I've been on this site and that is the #1 way to cut back on melanoma stress.  There are some, like our anon poster on this thread, that can't let it go either.  But even they are still melanoma free despite all the anxiety.  🙂