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Side effects and depression
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Side effects and depression

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Side effects and depression

  • Post
    • October 12, 2014 at 2:06 pm
    Brendan
    Participant

      Hi Everyone,

      I post often, but I'd like to keep this anonyomous.  I have been stage IV for over three years.  The cancer battle is going well, but I am really struggling with side effects.  I do not respond well to rah-rah, cherish every day . . . I do well just plugging away (I smelled the roses before stage IV).  But recently I feel borderline depressed and my marriage/personal life/work/etc., are all struggling.  I have small children and nor much 'me' time, and I am always tired.

      Any [realistic] ideas?  Thanks.

    Viewing 11 reply threads
    • Replies
        • October 12, 2014 at 3:33 pm
        Sheepsandcows
        Participant

          Sorry to hear you feel this way. It all depends what your preferences are. I Would suggest light exercise such as yoga, hiking or walking, including breathing exercises that are very good for calming the mind and body. Also, psychotherapy with someone who you feel comfortable and heard. Some cancer centres offer different types of support, such as groups and meditation. 

          Other people add talking to their doctor about medication for anxiety and depression. 

          Wishing you the best

          m

            • October 12, 2014 at 6:32 pm
            RJoeyB
            Participant

              I'd second the previous post.  Talking with a professional, even if only for a couple of sessions, can be helpful to point you to some suggestions, too.  But I understand that it's not for everyone, the same with considering medication.  Try not to let pride keep you from considering either, though — there's no shame in seeking help, this is a tough road, but you've made a big step in acknowledging that there is something going on.  I've found that learning some simple and easy breathing and meditation techniques help.  I also made an effort to walk every day for 30 minutes outside in a park nearby — nothing too strenuous, but enough that I put on gym clothes and running shoes and try to keep a good pace and elevate my heart rate a little.  Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes a baseball game, sometimes just the sounds of being outside.  Especially when fatigue is involved, it can be hard to get started, but I quickly found it improved fatigue, sleep, and mood.  I also always do it by myself for that "me" time; I'm Stage IV, too — married, working, kids (one in HS, one in college).  I have some physical stuff that's kept me from doing this for a couple of months now and I miss it.  Walking may not be your thing, but find something that can be that "me" time.  Hope that helps.

              • October 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm
              oldblue
              Participant

                I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I have been on SSRI's (a type of anti depressant for about a year). Coming off them is difficult for some people but in my case, I must due to contra indications to chemo drugs. I was put on them before my melanoma diagnosis. 

                It may be worth discussing with your melanoma docs if you are recommended anti depressant medication. 

                • October 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm
                oldblue
                Participant

                  I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I have been on SSRI's (a type of anti depressant for about a year). Coming off them is difficult for some people but in my case, I must due to contra indications to chemo drugs. I was put on them before my melanoma diagnosis. 

                  It may be worth discussing with your melanoma docs if you are recommended anti depressant medication. 

                  • October 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm
                  oldblue
                  Participant

                    I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I have been on SSRI's (a type of anti depressant for about a year). Coming off them is difficult for some people but in my case, I must due to contra indications to chemo drugs. I was put on them before my melanoma diagnosis. 

                    It may be worth discussing with your melanoma docs if you are recommended anti depressant medication. 

                    • October 12, 2014 at 6:32 pm
                    RJoeyB
                    Participant

                      I'd second the previous post.  Talking with a professional, even if only for a couple of sessions, can be helpful to point you to some suggestions, too.  But I understand that it's not for everyone, the same with considering medication.  Try not to let pride keep you from considering either, though — there's no shame in seeking help, this is a tough road, but you've made a big step in acknowledging that there is something going on.  I've found that learning some simple and easy breathing and meditation techniques help.  I also made an effort to walk every day for 30 minutes outside in a park nearby — nothing too strenuous, but enough that I put on gym clothes and running shoes and try to keep a good pace and elevate my heart rate a little.  Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes a baseball game, sometimes just the sounds of being outside.  Especially when fatigue is involved, it can be hard to get started, but I quickly found it improved fatigue, sleep, and mood.  I also always do it by myself for that "me" time; I'm Stage IV, too — married, working, kids (one in HS, one in college).  I have some physical stuff that's kept me from doing this for a couple of months now and I miss it.  Walking may not be your thing, but find something that can be that "me" time.  Hope that helps.

                      • October 12, 2014 at 6:32 pm
                      RJoeyB
                      Participant

                        I'd second the previous post.  Talking with a professional, even if only for a couple of sessions, can be helpful to point you to some suggestions, too.  But I understand that it's not for everyone, the same with considering medication.  Try not to let pride keep you from considering either, though — there's no shame in seeking help, this is a tough road, but you've made a big step in acknowledging that there is something going on.  I've found that learning some simple and easy breathing and meditation techniques help.  I also made an effort to walk every day for 30 minutes outside in a park nearby — nothing too strenuous, but enough that I put on gym clothes and running shoes and try to keep a good pace and elevate my heart rate a little.  Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes a baseball game, sometimes just the sounds of being outside.  Especially when fatigue is involved, it can be hard to get started, but I quickly found it improved fatigue, sleep, and mood.  I also always do it by myself for that "me" time; I'm Stage IV, too — married, working, kids (one in HS, one in college).  I have some physical stuff that's kept me from doing this for a couple of months now and I miss it.  Walking may not be your thing, but find something that can be that "me" time.  Hope that helps.

                      • October 12, 2014 at 3:33 pm
                      Sheepsandcows
                      Participant

                        Sorry to hear you feel this way. It all depends what your preferences are. I Would suggest light exercise such as yoga, hiking or walking, including breathing exercises that are very good for calming the mind and body. Also, psychotherapy with someone who you feel comfortable and heard. Some cancer centres offer different types of support, such as groups and meditation. 

                        Other people add talking to their doctor about medication for anxiety and depression. 

                        Wishing you the best

                        m

                        • October 12, 2014 at 3:33 pm
                        Sheepsandcows
                        Participant

                          Sorry to hear you feel this way. It all depends what your preferences are. I Would suggest light exercise such as yoga, hiking or walking, including breathing exercises that are very good for calming the mind and body. Also, psychotherapy with someone who you feel comfortable and heard. Some cancer centres offer different types of support, such as groups and meditation. 

                          Other people add talking to their doctor about medication for anxiety and depression. 

                          Wishing you the best

                          m

                          • October 12, 2014 at 6:55 pm
                          Bubbles
                          Participant

                            Sorry you have been feeling down. Despite the name 'Bubbles', given to me by my husband years ago for my supposed ebullient personality….I suspect that we see the admonition to 'Stay positive!' in much the same way. Chronic illness of any kind can take a huge emotional toll. It is even harder when the same illness can turn deadly in a rather capricious sort of way. And then add family…especially children…you must stay strong for. And then add the guilt….''How dare I feel sorry for myself or less appreciative for my life when there are others much worse off or who have even passed already?!!!"  My answer….lose the guilt, try not to shoulder all the burden, enjoy what you can, take each day….step by step. There is no harm in asking for help, finding an uninvolved person (like a counselor or therapist) to talk to so you can say what you really feel and fear without worry of hurt feelings and frightened family. Additionally, some treatments are known to CAUSE depression….interferon being one of those. Sometimes medication can be very helpful…if only for a brief time.  Don't know if any of this really helps. Perhaps it will help to know that you are not alone. Here are some thoughts about the same topic that I posted a bit ago.

                            http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2012/12/oh-people-youll-meet.html

                            I wish you peace.  Celeste

                            • October 12, 2014 at 6:55 pm
                            Bubbles
                            Participant

                              Sorry you have been feeling down. Despite the name 'Bubbles', given to me by my husband years ago for my supposed ebullient personality….I suspect that we see the admonition to 'Stay positive!' in much the same way. Chronic illness of any kind can take a huge emotional toll. It is even harder when the same illness can turn deadly in a rather capricious sort of way. And then add family…especially children…you must stay strong for. And then add the guilt….''How dare I feel sorry for myself or less appreciative for my life when there are others much worse off or who have even passed already?!!!"  My answer….lose the guilt, try not to shoulder all the burden, enjoy what you can, take each day….step by step. There is no harm in asking for help, finding an uninvolved person (like a counselor or therapist) to talk to so you can say what you really feel and fear without worry of hurt feelings and frightened family. Additionally, some treatments are known to CAUSE depression….interferon being one of those. Sometimes medication can be very helpful…if only for a brief time.  Don't know if any of this really helps. Perhaps it will help to know that you are not alone. Here are some thoughts about the same topic that I posted a bit ago.

                              http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2012/12/oh-people-youll-meet.html

                              I wish you peace.  Celeste

                              • October 12, 2014 at 6:55 pm
                              Bubbles
                              Participant

                                Sorry you have been feeling down. Despite the name 'Bubbles', given to me by my husband years ago for my supposed ebullient personality….I suspect that we see the admonition to 'Stay positive!' in much the same way. Chronic illness of any kind can take a huge emotional toll. It is even harder when the same illness can turn deadly in a rather capricious sort of way. And then add family…especially children…you must stay strong for. And then add the guilt….''How dare I feel sorry for myself or less appreciative for my life when there are others much worse off or who have even passed already?!!!"  My answer….lose the guilt, try not to shoulder all the burden, enjoy what you can, take each day….step by step. There is no harm in asking for help, finding an uninvolved person (like a counselor or therapist) to talk to so you can say what you really feel and fear without worry of hurt feelings and frightened family. Additionally, some treatments are known to CAUSE depression….interferon being one of those. Sometimes medication can be very helpful…if only for a brief time.  Don't know if any of this really helps. Perhaps it will help to know that you are not alone. Here are some thoughts about the same topic that I posted a bit ago.

                                http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2012/12/oh-people-youll-meet.html

                                I wish you peace.  Celeste

                                • October 13, 2014 at 2:27 am
                                JustMeInCA
                                Participant

                                  I'm all for medications if therapy and alternative treatments don't work. I had severe panic disorder when I first started college and resisted medication for close to a year, during which time I lost all joy in life and really stopped leaving the house except to go to classes (which were hellish, believe me.) Finally, I agreed to try an anti-depressant — they're used in lower doses for panic/anxiety — and after the first few weeks of adjusting to the side effects, I felt like a whole new person, living in a whole new world. As I've told many friends who have struggled with depression, there is no reason to live that way. Big hugs for you — and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. Many, many of us have been there.

                                  • October 13, 2014 at 2:27 am
                                  JustMeInCA
                                  Participant

                                    I'm all for medications if therapy and alternative treatments don't work. I had severe panic disorder when I first started college and resisted medication for close to a year, during which time I lost all joy in life and really stopped leaving the house except to go to classes (which were hellish, believe me.) Finally, I agreed to try an anti-depressant — they're used in lower doses for panic/anxiety — and after the first few weeks of adjusting to the side effects, I felt like a whole new person, living in a whole new world. As I've told many friends who have struggled with depression, there is no reason to live that way. Big hugs for you — and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. Many, many of us have been there.

                                      • October 14, 2014 at 11:45 am
                                      Brendan
                                      Participant

                                        Hi Everyone,

                                        Thanks for the support/suggestions.  Unfortunately I had a seizure last night.  I meet with my oncologist on Thursday (it was scheduled prior to having the seizure).  I need to find out if stress can induce a seizure.  Unfortunately I might have broken a bone in my foot in the fall (down the steps) so long walks in the woods are out the window for a while.  i'll find another way to reduce stress.

                                        Thanks for your input.

                                        • October 14, 2014 at 11:45 am
                                        Brendan
                                        Participant

                                          Hi Everyone,

                                          Thanks for the support/suggestions.  Unfortunately I had a seizure last night.  I meet with my oncologist on Thursday (it was scheduled prior to having the seizure).  I need to find out if stress can induce a seizure.  Unfortunately I might have broken a bone in my foot in the fall (down the steps) so long walks in the woods are out the window for a while.  i'll find another way to reduce stress.

                                          Thanks for your input.

                                          • October 14, 2014 at 11:45 am
                                          Brendan
                                          Participant

                                            Hi Everyone,

                                            Thanks for the support/suggestions.  Unfortunately I had a seizure last night.  I meet with my oncologist on Thursday (it was scheduled prior to having the seizure).  I need to find out if stress can induce a seizure.  Unfortunately I might have broken a bone in my foot in the fall (down the steps) so long walks in the woods are out the window for a while.  i'll find another way to reduce stress.

                                            Thanks for your input.

                                            • October 15, 2014 at 6:55 am
                                            JerryfromFauq
                                            Participant

                                              Hello JustMeInCa.  Glad to hear that you are feeling better. thanks for the info.

                                               

                                              • October 15, 2014 at 6:55 am
                                              JerryfromFauq
                                              Participant

                                                Hello JustMeInCa.  Glad to hear that you are feeling better. thanks for the info.

                                                 

                                                • October 15, 2014 at 6:55 am
                                                JerryfromFauq
                                                Participant

                                                  Hello JustMeInCa.  Glad to hear that you are feeling better. thanks for the info.

                                                   

                                                • October 13, 2014 at 2:27 am
                                                JustMeInCA
                                                Participant

                                                  I'm all for medications if therapy and alternative treatments don't work. I had severe panic disorder when I first started college and resisted medication for close to a year, during which time I lost all joy in life and really stopped leaving the house except to go to classes (which were hellish, believe me.) Finally, I agreed to try an anti-depressant — they're used in lower doses for panic/anxiety — and after the first few weeks of adjusting to the side effects, I felt like a whole new person, living in a whole new world. As I've told many friends who have struggled with depression, there is no reason to live that way. Big hugs for you — and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. Many, many of us have been there.

                                                  • October 15, 2014 at 7:09 am
                                                  JerryfromFauq
                                                  Participant

                                                    You've been given some good advice above.  You cannot care for either yourself nor those small children that you feel baad about not having enough time for as well as not having time for their favoriite person.  You can not tke care of either them nor yourself unless you get some assistance, maybe even have a friend check out a couple of od comedies and watch them with you.  No fum to watch alone!  Nicer to at least hear someone else laugh, even if we don't really feel like doing it ourselves. ASk church people, friends or neighbors for something that will give you a hour or two
                                                    9or more"me" time.  WE allneed some of that, whether it to get something done ar for the relief that a SHORT self pity  party can bring to to us. 

                                                         I hate the "rah-rah, cherish every day" bit.  Too many problems in my life.outside of  haveing been a NON-NED stage IV person for over 7 years and also being a 24 hour caretaker for my wife I can understand your feelings.  The main negative side effect of my medication is chronic fatiigue.  You are riight , IT"S NO FUn.

                                                     

                                                    • October 15, 2014 at 7:09 am
                                                    JerryfromFauq
                                                    Participant

                                                      You've been given some good advice above.  You cannot care for either yourself nor those small children that you feel baad about not having enough time for as well as not having time for their favoriite person.  You can not tke care of either them nor yourself unless you get some assistance, maybe even have a friend check out a couple of od comedies and watch them with you.  No fum to watch alone!  Nicer to at least hear someone else laugh, even if we don't really feel like doing it ourselves. ASk church people, friends or neighbors for something that will give you a hour or two
                                                      9or more"me" time.  WE allneed some of that, whether it to get something done ar for the relief that a SHORT self pity  party can bring to to us. 

                                                           I hate the "rah-rah, cherish every day" bit.  Too many problems in my life.outside of  haveing been a NON-NED stage IV person for over 7 years and also being a 24 hour caretaker for my wife I can understand your feelings.  The main negative side effect of my medication is chronic fatiigue.  You are riight , IT"S NO FUn.

                                                       

                                                        • October 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm
                                                        Brendan
                                                        Participant

                                                          Thank you.

                                                          Hi everyone.  Thanks for your support.  I met with my doctor last night (Thursday) and she recommeneded time off from work.  It seems that the combo of chronic fatigue and dealing with the other side effects of treatment has led to depression.  I will be out of work for a couple months while I recoup.

                                                          On a good note, my daughter celebrated her third birthday last week.  I was diagnosed stage IV during my wife's pregnancy (eight months).  I told the doctor that I wanted to be here for her (Audrey) third birthday. 

                                                          I feel better already just knowing I am going in the right direction.

                                                          Brendan

                                                           

                                                          • October 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm
                                                          Brendan
                                                          Participant

                                                            Thank you.

                                                            Hi everyone.  Thanks for your support.  I met with my doctor last night (Thursday) and she recommeneded time off from work.  It seems that the combo of chronic fatigue and dealing with the other side effects of treatment has led to depression.  I will be out of work for a couple months while I recoup.

                                                            On a good note, my daughter celebrated her third birthday last week.  I was diagnosed stage IV during my wife's pregnancy (eight months).  I told the doctor that I wanted to be here for her (Audrey) third birthday. 

                                                            I feel better already just knowing I am going in the right direction.

                                                            Brendan

                                                             

                                                            • October 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm
                                                            Brendan
                                                            Participant

                                                              Thank you.

                                                              Hi everyone.  Thanks for your support.  I met with my doctor last night (Thursday) and she recommeneded time off from work.  It seems that the combo of chronic fatigue and dealing with the other side effects of treatment has led to depression.  I will be out of work for a couple months while I recoup.

                                                              On a good note, my daughter celebrated her third birthday last week.  I was diagnosed stage IV during my wife's pregnancy (eight months).  I told the doctor that I wanted to be here for her (Audrey) third birthday. 

                                                              I feel better already just knowing I am going in the right direction.

                                                              Brendan

                                                               

                                                            • October 15, 2014 at 7:09 am
                                                            JerryfromFauq
                                                            Participant

                                                              You've been given some good advice above.  You cannot care for either yourself nor those small children that you feel baad about not having enough time for as well as not having time for their favoriite person.  You can not tke care of either them nor yourself unless you get some assistance, maybe even have a friend check out a couple of od comedies and watch them with you.  No fum to watch alone!  Nicer to at least hear someone else laugh, even if we don't really feel like doing it ourselves. ASk church people, friends or neighbors for something that will give you a hour or two
                                                              9or more"me" time.  WE allneed some of that, whether it to get something done ar for the relief that a SHORT self pity  party can bring to to us. 

                                                                   I hate the "rah-rah, cherish every day" bit.  Too many problems in my life.outside of  haveing been a NON-NED stage IV person for over 7 years and also being a 24 hour caretaker for my wife I can understand your feelings.  The main negative side effect of my medication is chronic fatiigue.  You are riight , IT"S NO FUn.

                                                               

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