› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Shoulder to lean on…kinda long
- This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 11 months ago by
Kimmer.
- Post
-
- May 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm
thanks Bonnie, John, Janner, LV, Dian, Kathie, Linda and Everyone.
This has been so hard that I think there is something wrong with me. Really.
thanks Bonnie, John, Janner, LV, Dian, Kathie, Linda and Everyone.
This has been so hard that I think there is something wrong with me. Really.
We closed on our new little townhouse on Wednesday and just hung out at the crappy corporate apartment, watching baseball, having a couple beers, sitting on the sofa with the dogz. We had planned to start taking our clothes and stuff from the apartment, but decided to just hang out and chill with the girlz. Abbey was feeling like a little walk… I think because of the Tramadol that was the new arthritis med that her new doc had given her on Monday. I hugged her when we got back and told her that she was like hugging a cloud of white softness; she sat very close until it was bedtime. She woke us up at 3 am and we were at the emergency clinic at 4 am. I was sure it was a drug reaction; we had no idea that anything could be related to her surgery last year; neither did any of the 3 docs she had seen since February.
I am so stupid…I held her at the clinic and sobbed and kept asking if she was dead. I guess we dodge so many bullets around here health wise(in terms of all of the stress of life threatening situations), what with melanoma and son's head injuries, that it is just all too surreal. We even felt that we dodged a bullet with Abbey's splenic mass last year. It was exactly a year ago last week.
So anyways, we got back at 5:50, just as the coffee pot started to brew…we gave up on sleeping in ever because Miss AbbeyDog always wanted her breakfast. We met the movers at the new place at 9:00 (we had all of our belonging in storage while the townhouse was being built); they were very kind to me and kept giving me tissues 'cos the tears wouldn't stop.
Hubs had to leave on Sunday for a convention in Las Vegas. I am feeling sorry for myself is all there is to it, but it has been a hard few days. There is a lot of bad stuff going on for a lot of people; thanks for reading this. It is really helping just to write it down.
BTW…my EmmaDog is helping so much. What a good girl she is. I wonder if she is finding it strange to be an only dog?
Appreciate it everyone.
Love, k.
- Replies
-
-
- May 24, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Oh Kim…. I do understand about losing an important 'person/dog/cat' When it was time and our dog was in so much pain, she jumped up into the cab of the truck, and jumped out at the vet, and did not looks anything like she had been looking like the past 6 months.
We stayed with her. Until it was over. It hurt. We both cried. Our children cried, though they knew.
When it came time for our 18 year old cat, twas the same thing. I stayed till it was over. and weeped.
I did not have any other animal until about 10 years later. It was a rat. We looked after our neighbours dogs..walks and companionship and all that pent up love. Then Chloe (cat) came to live with us, in a foster cat situation. I would never give her up. (6 years later) same with ArCee who was Neil's cat. We decided to keep her as well, and they are both fast friends.
So Kim, we know you know.
Love Bonnie
-
- May 24, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Oh Kim…. I do understand about losing an important 'person/dog/cat' When it was time and our dog was in so much pain, she jumped up into the cab of the truck, and jumped out at the vet, and did not looks anything like she had been looking like the past 6 months.
We stayed with her. Until it was over. It hurt. We both cried. Our children cried, though they knew.
When it came time for our 18 year old cat, twas the same thing. I stayed till it was over. and weeped.
I did not have any other animal until about 10 years later. It was a rat. We looked after our neighbours dogs..walks and companionship and all that pent up love. Then Chloe (cat) came to live with us, in a foster cat situation. I would never give her up. (6 years later) same with ArCee who was Neil's cat. We decided to keep her as well, and they are both fast friends.
So Kim, we know you know.
Love Bonnie
-
- May 25, 2011 at 3:19 am
As they say, I am not a doctor, so I can't say if anything is wrong with you. But I lost my big beautiful girl-dog last August, and it still is not easy. So many of my habits were tied to her, even more so than to my husband. I still can't pull into the garage without wondering if I've left enough room for her to get by as she dashes out the door the minute I open it. She also helped me to keep going in all the crazy times, because her needs were regular (and luckily pretty easily satisfied). I think she was also something of an emotional bridge back to the more normal times with my husband. While these things are specific to me, I think it's pretty common for us to invest our beloved pets with some sort of mythic essence. They love us so unconditionally. They are far more than the sum of their parts.
So, no. I don't think you're crazy. You've suffered a major loss. I'm sorry.
-
- May 25, 2011 at 3:19 am
As they say, I am not a doctor, so I can't say if anything is wrong with you. But I lost my big beautiful girl-dog last August, and it still is not easy. So many of my habits were tied to her, even more so than to my husband. I still can't pull into the garage without wondering if I've left enough room for her to get by as she dashes out the door the minute I open it. She also helped me to keep going in all the crazy times, because her needs were regular (and luckily pretty easily satisfied). I think she was also something of an emotional bridge back to the more normal times with my husband. While these things are specific to me, I think it's pretty common for us to invest our beloved pets with some sort of mythic essence. They love us so unconditionally. They are far more than the sum of their parts.
So, no. I don't think you're crazy. You've suffered a major loss. I'm sorry.
-
- May 25, 2011 at 4:39 am
Loosing a pet is soooo hard! Many years ago when my cat died (she was about 18 at the time) my dad called to tell me. He was crying so hard that for several minutes I thought my mom had died! When we had to put Maggie dog down a few years ago I couldn't believe how much it hurt. Sammy and I held her until she took her last breath. We haven't gotten another pet and I still miss her.
Pets give us unconditional love. It makes it all the harder. She is now dancing in doggy heaven.
Linda
-
- May 25, 2011 at 4:39 am
Loosing a pet is soooo hard! Many years ago when my cat died (she was about 18 at the time) my dad called to tell me. He was crying so hard that for several minutes I thought my mom had died! When we had to put Maggie dog down a few years ago I couldn't believe how much it hurt. Sammy and I held her until she took her last breath. We haven't gotten another pet and I still miss her.
Pets give us unconditional love. It makes it all the harder. She is now dancing in doggy heaven.
Linda
-
- May 26, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Once again, my heart-felt gratitude to you all.
Unconditional love is truly key here. I am lucky that I have given it and received such a blessing. AbbeyDog was pure love and pure joy.
I do feel better and I am glad to be in such good company as all of y'all who love your pets. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with me other than a broken heart after all.
XXX OOO
k.
-
- May 26, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Once again, my heart-felt gratitude to you all.
Unconditional love is truly key here. I am lucky that I have given it and received such a blessing. AbbeyDog was pure love and pure joy.
I do feel better and I am glad to be in such good company as all of y'all who love your pets. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with me other than a broken heart after all.
XXX OOO
k.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.