Questions…so many unknowns.

Hi Karmen,

I understand your fear.  I'm not really sure what to tell you as everyone has to reach a balance in dealing with melanoma in their own way.  With melanoma, sadly, you are correct "there are no rules".  The odds are you will NOT have to deal with melanoma again when you are Stage 1a.  Period.  But, then again there is the no rule scenario.

Here is the only thing I can tell you…  I was diagnosed as Stage 3b in 2003 at the age of 39, in the middle of grad school with a job, a husband, and two middle schoolers.  I had choices, just as you do.  The very same ones, in fact….albeit with a worse prognosis.  I could curl up in a ball of fear and worry OR I could LIVE!!!!!!!!!  There were difficult days and moments, but I refused then, and I refuse today, to let melanoma win.  And by that I mean….

MELANOMA will NOT take my life, until it TAKES my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I will not give to melanoma one momemnt more than is required for me to plan my care, take the precautions or treatments needed, have my sad moment, and get back up and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrote this for some who were asking some of your same questions in 2016:  

http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2016/05/dont-give-up-dont-ever-give-up.html  

Find your place.  Find your balance.  Go for a run, do yoga, volunteer, help out at a shelter (women's, homeless, pups)….whatever it takes for you to find your place in the world.   If you already have a busy, full life ~ LIVE it!!!  Do NOT give it to melanoma!!!  

Hope this helps a bit. Yell and scream here or with a friend as needed!!   I wish you well.  Celeste

Ditto everything Celeste says.  Don't let melanoma win!

In addition, no one ever says stage 1a has a 100% survival rate.  It doesn't.  So yes, there are going to be some that progress.  You also have to realize that stage 1a TODAY is a more exclusive club that it used to be.  So when someone says they are stage 1a – it doesn't always mean the same thing.  i.e. My first lesion in 1992.  It was stage 1a then.  In the early 2000s, the staging changed and for many years that same lesion was classified as stage 1b.  .58mm with 1 mitosis and no ulceration.  With the latest 2018 staging, it's back to stage 1a again.   But stage 1a for the last 5 years has been the most strictest it had ever been.  Stage 1b is a very big category too and staging has also changed there.  Anyway, so when you read someone's posting about progressing, you also need to take into account when they were diagnosed as well as taking them for their word that they really know.  (Believe me, that is also a big deal.  Over the years it has been clear to me that people don't always get all the aspects of their diagnosis).  People have posted about progressing from in situ, but their report shows a deeper lesion.  Pathology reports rarely include a stage, that is usually given by the doc.

And then we hit the the second issue.  The internet.  We know there are a small percentage that progress.  But there are a huge percentage that don't.  And they (hopefully – present company excluded) are out living their life and not worrying about melanoma.  Why would they post on the internet that they are 5 years NED, 10 years NED?  They have no reason to come back and post the success stories.  You have to keep this in perspective because the vast majority of lesions diagnosed are in situ or stage 1.  And the vast majority do not progress.  An if you spend your time worrying about it, then you've let melanoma win whether or not it ever comes back.

Janner

Stage 1 since 1992, 3 MM primaries