- December 31, 2017 at 2:20 am
Hi! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. I also just posted on MIF. I know pregnancy has been discussed quite a bit- I’ve brought it up before on here too, but I just needed a space to share. I was diagnosed stage 3a in April 2014 when my daughter was 6 weeks old. My husband and i were hoping to grow our family. I’ve seen melanoma specialists— currently Dr Kendra at the James (Ohio State), and Dr coit initially after diagnosis (he performed my clnd- although he stated he would have been comfortable NOT doing it as well when looking at my tumor stats). Dr. Kendra suggested waiting 1-2 years before becoming pregnant, and Dr Coit suggested waiting 3-4 years.
So the question- it is now over 3 1/2 years and I am now 6 weeks pregnant. I am so excited, and then. I get moments of sheer fear and panic…. that we made the wrong choice, and that this beast is going to come back while pregnant. I’ve googled ( STUPID YES), but I seem to never find positive stories of pregnancy after stage 3a.
Any insite from anyone would be appreciated.
- December 31, 2017 at 4:49 am
Maybe it’s different for a dude, but I’m 3b since 2013 and I have a 4 year old and a 6 year old and I’m not overly worried. My wife could handle things without me if need be (and do a better job-ha!). I figure everyone has a 100% chance of dying sometime. I’m a Christian so I believe there is a plan for every single person so that helps a lot. Although even in the Bible-Nehemiah it says pray but post a guard. Therefore I have made arrangements in case either expire before our perceived due dates-that is 10-15 Times our salaries in TERM life insurance (not whole life scam stuff), live debt free, pay off the house, live on a budget and below your means why you get your finances in order-basically stuff you should do even if the big C wasn’t in the forefront of your mind. If people waited to have kids till the time was right the human race would be extinct. Kids are a lot tougher then we give them credit for-yea you don’t want to let them down by dying, but I’d say raise them for as long as you can-more than likely till your grey and old and if you don’t make it that long then make sure you make every moment count with them-a lot of “normal-noncancer” parents don’t have the eternal perspectives we have-they waste time worrying about silly things where people that have been sideswiped by melanoma are ina better position to sift through what is important and what is not. Have fun with those little butterballs while you can-I miss my little fat babies-they are getting into the awkward skinny stage now-which by the way is awesome too.
sister of patientParticipant
- December 31, 2017 at 5:34 pm
You've chosen joy and happiness over a "what-if." I'm not a medical person and can't speak about the odds … but, personally, I don't think you can go wrong when you make life decisions that are so meaningful for you.
What a way to celebrate a Happy New Year!! May 2018 be one of your healthiest and happiest!!! Best wishes to you and your family!!
- December 31, 2017 at 7:08 pm
You are giving your daughter the gift of a sibling — and what a gift that is! No matter what happens, your joy of having this child will never be taken from you. Celebrate life, and find joy in your family. (Others can tell you about the numbers … I cannot … but remember that *you* aren't a number!)
- January 1, 2018 at 4:58 am
Please don’t stop living the life you want out of fear of what might happen. I was originally diagnosed with stage 3b while pregnant with my son (who will be 5 in May). I’m currently fighting stage 4 and recently got not so great news. I was about to put an offer in on my first house. After a day, I decided I still wanted to put the offer in. I didn’t want to put things off because I got some bad news. Unfortunately, someone else beat me to the house, so i will just keep trying.
- January 1, 2018 at 7:34 pm
I am sorry you had to deal with this stpid melanoma. I was diagnosed 6 months after my son was born with a T1b stage. I was lucky we caught it in time, although technically I got no type of scans, so who knows? SNLB came back negative.
I asked my dermatologist and she said there is no reason to wait. I read and read, and cannot figure anything definite. Were my hormones the final push to the melanoma appearing, or my surpressed imune state? What will happen if I get pregnant? Is it going to come back as a new primary, or would the tiny melanoma cells I might still have floating in my body activate and send me straight o stage 2?
Anyway, because I am 35 I have decided to try for a second child in late summer of 2018. That would put me a bit over 1.5 years of waiting.
Good luck, and please update with any new information you might get from your doctors about pregnancy and melanoma.
TP35ParticipantThere is a small amount of data about pregnancy after stage 3 diagnosis. Here is review paper. It seems that pregnancy after melanoma diagnosis is not linked to worse prognosis.
- January 3, 2018 at 11:35 pm
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