I am stage IIIB, NED since 2010. First ocurrence in 1984, second occurence in 2005. Still here, still waiting for it to come back. I know bad attitude. I'm just tired. Stroke in 2012, heart attack in 2012 and 2013.
My cousin died at 58 from Melanoma, well maybe pericarditis, not sure. Haven't spoken with that side of the family for a long time. Then a cousin decides to contact us and tells us how her sister died of melanoma. She had the disease for 30 years. I'm 29 years, and I'm 56. She did smoke, and she started to get a different kind of cough, not the normal smokers hack. So she went to the doctor and found mets in her lung. According to my cousin, she went into the hosptial and never came out. She said her heart filled with fluid as well as her lungs. She was also overweight, not the normal skinny wasting away cancer victim.
My father had multiple myeloma and he was 6'4" and weighed about 130 pounds when he died. Dad did not die of the disease he died of a heart attack. The doctor said he would have probably lasted another 6 months. Yeah of pain. Thank God for the heart attack.
I have pericarditis, its getting worse. I was on a med called colchicine its a very tough med to be on. So I decided it was not worth the pain to be on this med. I am overweight, and not from eating. So I guess I'm thinking I'm on the road to pass on but when? I am just stunned by my family member's story of how my cousin died of this disease. I thought I was doing pretty good. I'm not really worried about dying, I hate the suffering and the pain.
I needed to vent. Sorry.
Cindy VT
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