› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Ok, 1 more topic contribution effort…( are you reading them,dian :)
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TinaR.
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- October 5, 2010 at 3:48 am
and then I have to go to bed, because I'm REALLY serious about putting those darn FROWNIES on -it's a huge time commitment- at night and the next morning. So, boring night here…. I mentioned my Eharmony thing the other day…
and then I have to go to bed, because I'm REALLY serious about putting those darn FROWNIES on -it's a huge time commitment- at night and the next morning. So, boring night here…. I mentioned my Eharmony thing the other day…
Well, I didn't make time to go to the site and sign off… but I did block the e-mails. Which means they download into my deleted file. I noticed a lot of mail downloading …… I had a nice smattering and got first hand ideas about what a man should NOT include on their resume of luv…….wince– (don't call it your "resume of LUV", you idiot ) I didn't bother reading anyone who lives in my adopted home-state's south central area—these people are not normal—or anyone who lived below the Mason Dixon line in a town that isn't considered a metropolitan area ( because I just don't understand that crowd)
As a matchmaker by hobby…Here are my top ten observations for a guy who wants to cast the widest net….
#1. Do not attribute your career success to a being who cannot be proven to exist ( unless you're on a strictly religious site and then just type GOD for every answer and you'll be fine).
#2. Do not mention sex, sexy, or lingerie. AT ALL. On the application, on your first date or first few dates.
#3. In the box that asks, "tell us what others do not see in you" DO NOT write "They don't see me as tall and thin" . Exactly what is it that prevents them from seeing this– are you only dating the visually impaired or is it your short / overweight body? Uh, your description was 5"11 with a muscular build ?( LV was right!) .
#4. Do not list your occupation by some code a woman may not understand. SPELL IT OUT. I think you have the time…you're not dating, you lazy bum.
#5. Do not refer to your potential life mate as your sweetie– as in "spending evenings curled up with 'my sweetie" ( even "your honey" made my flesh goose bump) The type who names his penis and talks to it would refer to a woman he doesn't yet know as *sweetie*.
#6. Don't add that you like to buy your girlfriends gifts…that's just skeevy. There will be time enough to put up, but until then -shut up about it.
#7. Use the dictionary -once you're chosen you can spell and punctuate just like me…god-awful. On the application pretend you're smart- lie/get your brother to do it…
#8. …don't mention your brother the rocket scientist who helps you with hard stuff…because he's educated, wealthy and your listed occupation is retail. Is your brother available?
#9. Like to "spend the evenings watching your cocker spaniel *The Amazing Mocha* run around all wild " ? Just no.
#10. Want to spend your life looking deeply into the eyes of your beloved? Holy Crap, your entire life? Are you going to do anything else? That would creep me out. Maybe fill in a wee more, you know, just to obscure your obsessive compulsive tendencies a bit.
I thought the nicest one was a 63 year old family law attorney who was interested in "a love for a lifetime, with lasting attraction" Until I started wondering about the lasting attraction bit…uh, huh…ISSUES.
The winner is : 50 and a political media consultant. Funny, just the right amount of self-depreciating humor, happy go lucky, generally upbeat. Seems normal, not too fussy or too foo foo. Likes a nice mix of indoor and public events…can be plopped anywhere and make do. I want to clone him and give him to all my single friends for Christmas.
My Frownies call…
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- October 5, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Hey Rox,
Nice summary and very funny. A few years ago I had a free account through freelove.com (kidding abt. the name) Was exciting to open your email and see that there was a match. Then reality set in. Here are a few things women shouldn't put in:
Your picture holding a 3 month old, smoking a cigarette and saying you like to party.
A hot picture of yourself, then when you claim your income (20-30 G), ask for a man who 'makes me feel special' and must earn over 100g.
A picture of yourself being 100 lbs overweight and then say you exercise 3-5 times a week and love to work out.
Any picture of yourself having a muffintop, or in a tubetop that is being held up near the bellybutton area.
Claim 'no children' in your special man but then have 5 yourself.
Be bitchy. If you write bitchy then you're going to be a supreme bitch. Things like "I need, I have to have, I want, etc"
There were more but my memory is foggy from those days.
yoop
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- October 5, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Odd how all your comments center on the woman's physical appearance…
Can you not love a woman with a muffintop? How about if she feeds the hungry, gives all of her extra income to the poor, donates four pints of life saving blood a week AND she owns a beer distillery? How about the woman 100lbs overweight…if she was funny, a Rhodes Scholar, owned a gun store, a potato chip factory AND a luxury hunting camp?
The difference, yoop…most women just want a man who is somewhat intelligent (just the ability to fight themselves out of a paper bag might be enough ) , doesn't beat her, can hold a job that carries at least half the load, WILL help raise kids ( yours/mine/ours) , is respectful, friendly, good-humored , clean and reasonable. Women usually do not care what the man she marries looks like 🙂
Of course, my personal list is an expanded, but more restrictive version …but I'm one of the bitchy gals you mentioned above 🙂
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- October 5, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Nothing wrong at all with a Muffin Top. Surely when a person accentuates their muffin, they must be looking for a muffin lover so I was wrong in pointing out that women shouldn't show it off. To each their own, I guess a picture is worth a thousand words, if I posted a picture without a shirt on and had a big beer gut and was coated w/hair like bigfoot, I would be catering towards women who liked sasquatch men.
Not all my posts were contingent on looks. I'm only half superficial.
Where is this Rhodes Scholar who owns a gun store, chip factory and has the luxury hunting camp? Does she have a boat? A good bird dog?
Women usually do not care what the man she marries looks like???? Hmmmm, smelling some b.s. here. Put a man out there who has all the characteristics you mention but has a nose bigger than Howard Stern and crooked yellow teeth and you would politely decline me thinks.
yoop
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- October 5, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Not so Yoop. If a person is wonderful otherwise and the deficits that bother you ( or are deal breakers) can be modified, you would be wrong.
Most women look beyond the superficial. Gross is one thing… good hygiene isn't a beauty option. Big nose& big heart–I'll take both. Muffin tops are not gross neglect of the standards of basic hygiene. Besides…teeth can be whitened & big noses are said to mean good news in another department…and there we go back to my unreasonable list again 🙂
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- October 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm
This whole thread reminds me of an old joke.
Man with 3 Girlfriends
There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each 1 $5000 and see how each of them spent it.
The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money.
Finally, being a man he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits. -
- October 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm
This whole thread reminds me of an old joke.
Man with 3 Girlfriends
There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each 1 $5000 and see how each of them spent it.
The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money.
Finally, being a man he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits. -
- October 6, 2010 at 11:47 am
Morning John,
I heard that joke a few years ago and was thinking the same thing. I just couldn't remember the body of it, just the punchline.
I need your vet expertise. My wife brought home a mama cat and 3 kittens about 4 months ago. I said that a couple cats would be nice… but four??? Anyway, the mama cat will not use the clean litterbox and will only do her duty in the grass and then attempt to cover it up. Nothing spins me out more than stepping/mowing/tractoring over this nastiness. Is there any way to lure her into using the litterbox? Now the mama's preggers again. Need that cat herding video to shuffle the rascals to all get Bob Barker'd. (new term.. just made it up) Anyone need a kitten? I'll just FedEx, couple holes in the box and you will have a cat in 2-3 business days.
yoop
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- October 6, 2010 at 11:47 am
Morning John,
I heard that joke a few years ago and was thinking the same thing. I just couldn't remember the body of it, just the punchline.
I need your vet expertise. My wife brought home a mama cat and 3 kittens about 4 months ago. I said that a couple cats would be nice… but four??? Anyway, the mama cat will not use the clean litterbox and will only do her duty in the grass and then attempt to cover it up. Nothing spins me out more than stepping/mowing/tractoring over this nastiness. Is there any way to lure her into using the litterbox? Now the mama's preggers again. Need that cat herding video to shuffle the rascals to all get Bob Barker'd. (new term.. just made it up) Anyone need a kitten? I'll just FedEx, couple holes in the box and you will have a cat in 2-3 business days.
yoop
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- October 6, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Hi Rox,
Still calling B.S. on your 'not superficial' but will let it go. Being the sleuth you are, you should dabble in the deciphering aspect. ie. Like to be spoiled— Means they want a man who has lots of money to spend it on them. See, this way you cover both arena's; the Proper things to put in your description and the Understanding of what they put in their description.
Here's my opinion of what women want in a man. Smart, funny, caring, strong (being able to pick you up), fixeruper, loving, courageous, financially astute, protecting, witty, romantic and attractive. I think there's a joke along these lines too, something about stories in a building if I remember correctly.
I think my marriage has gone forward. Early on, my wife's heart would go pitter patter over a poem, now it goes pitter patter if she sees me dripping in sweat while completing the bathroom tile.
yoop
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- October 6, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Hi Rox,
Still calling B.S. on your 'not superficial' but will let it go. Being the sleuth you are, you should dabble in the deciphering aspect. ie. Like to be spoiled— Means they want a man who has lots of money to spend it on them. See, this way you cover both arena's; the Proper things to put in your description and the Understanding of what they put in their description.
Here's my opinion of what women want in a man. Smart, funny, caring, strong (being able to pick you up), fixeruper, loving, courageous, financially astute, protecting, witty, romantic and attractive. I think there's a joke along these lines too, something about stories in a building if I remember correctly.
I think my marriage has gone forward. Early on, my wife's heart would go pitter patter over a poem, now it goes pitter patter if she sees me dripping in sweat while completing the bathroom tile.
yoop
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- October 6, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I think most are true…Smart, funny, caring, loving, courageous, financially astute, protective-loyal to family, witty – all yes.
strong? less being able to pick you up- not so much physical strength as the other kind
fixeruper? if you can't afford to have it done-yes or you would be living in a rickety shack.
romantic? can veer into the ick for some women- so yes and no
attractive? all of the characteristics mentioned above are what make a person attractive.
YOU write poems?! I'm not a fan of overt romantic gestures ( I think they embarrass me) but if your wife likes them- that's cute! I'd rather you fix the bathroom and take out the trash. Men and the things they do for the women they lub. Although I haven't always disliked poems…the first I experienced was more than enthusiastically received. I was in the 4th grade…my dad brought a folded loose leaf paper in from the mailbox- handed it to my mother and said, "And so it begins". I was a little embarrassed. It was written in special code…where the letters of the alphabet are numbered. Seth lubbed me ( he was no Lord Byron poor kid & unfortunately, I loved David). I wish I had saved it.
I did save the last two poems I received…both from two supervisors at different companies…both as I was leaving to work in other cities. I was touched but surprised and confused by each. One handwritten and funny , one sent over the company message system and very uncomfortable…interesting enough to save over all these years .Maybe that's what turned me off of romance !
I have to dig out all my old mementos and head down memory lane for a bit. John should thank you- keeping the old girl busy- you're a sly one!
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- October 6, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I think most are true…Smart, funny, caring, loving, courageous, financially astute, protective-loyal to family, witty – all yes.
strong? less being able to pick you up- not so much physical strength as the other kind
fixeruper? if you can't afford to have it done-yes or you would be living in a rickety shack.
romantic? can veer into the ick for some women- so yes and no
attractive? all of the characteristics mentioned above are what make a person attractive.
YOU write poems?! I'm not a fan of overt romantic gestures ( I think they embarrass me) but if your wife likes them- that's cute! I'd rather you fix the bathroom and take out the trash. Men and the things they do for the women they lub. Although I haven't always disliked poems…the first I experienced was more than enthusiastically received. I was in the 4th grade…my dad brought a folded loose leaf paper in from the mailbox- handed it to my mother and said, "And so it begins". I was a little embarrassed. It was written in special code…where the letters of the alphabet are numbered. Seth lubbed me ( he was no Lord Byron poor kid & unfortunately, I loved David). I wish I had saved it.
I did save the last two poems I received…both from two supervisors at different companies…both as I was leaving to work in other cities. I was touched but surprised and confused by each. One handwritten and funny , one sent over the company message system and very uncomfortable…interesting enough to save over all these years .Maybe that's what turned me off of romance !
I have to dig out all my old mementos and head down memory lane for a bit. John should thank you- keeping the old girl busy- you're a sly one!
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- October 5, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Not so Yoop. If a person is wonderful otherwise and the deficits that bother you ( or are deal breakers) can be modified, you would be wrong.
Most women look beyond the superficial. Gross is one thing… good hygiene isn't a beauty option. Big nose& big heart–I'll take both. Muffin tops are not gross neglect of the standards of basic hygiene. Besides…teeth can be whitened & big noses are said to mean good news in another department…and there we go back to my unreasonable list again 🙂
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- October 5, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Nothing wrong at all with a Muffin Top. Surely when a person accentuates their muffin, they must be looking for a muffin lover so I was wrong in pointing out that women shouldn't show it off. To each their own, I guess a picture is worth a thousand words, if I posted a picture without a shirt on and had a big beer gut and was coated w/hair like bigfoot, I would be catering towards women who liked sasquatch men.
Not all my posts were contingent on looks. I'm only half superficial.
Where is this Rhodes Scholar who owns a gun store, chip factory and has the luxury hunting camp? Does she have a boat? A good bird dog?
Women usually do not care what the man she marries looks like???? Hmmmm, smelling some b.s. here. Put a man out there who has all the characteristics you mention but has a nose bigger than Howard Stern and crooked yellow teeth and you would politely decline me thinks.
yoop
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- October 5, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Odd how all your comments center on the woman's physical appearance…
Can you not love a woman with a muffintop? How about if she feeds the hungry, gives all of her extra income to the poor, donates four pints of life saving blood a week AND she owns a beer distillery? How about the woman 100lbs overweight…if she was funny, a Rhodes Scholar, owned a gun store, a potato chip factory AND a luxury hunting camp?
The difference, yoop…most women just want a man who is somewhat intelligent (just the ability to fight themselves out of a paper bag might be enough ) , doesn't beat her, can hold a job that carries at least half the load, WILL help raise kids ( yours/mine/ours) , is respectful, friendly, good-humored , clean and reasonable. Women usually do not care what the man she marries looks like 🙂
Of course, my personal list is an expanded, but more restrictive version …but I'm one of the bitchy gals you mentioned above 🙂
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- October 5, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Hey Rox,
Nice summary and very funny. A few years ago I had a free account through freelove.com (kidding abt. the name) Was exciting to open your email and see that there was a match. Then reality set in. Here are a few things women shouldn't put in:
Your picture holding a 3 month old, smoking a cigarette and saying you like to party.
A hot picture of yourself, then when you claim your income (20-30 G), ask for a man who 'makes me feel special' and must earn over 100g.
A picture of yourself being 100 lbs overweight and then say you exercise 3-5 times a week and love to work out.
Any picture of yourself having a muffintop, or in a tubetop that is being held up near the bellybutton area.
Claim 'no children' in your special man but then have 5 yourself.
Be bitchy. If you write bitchy then you're going to be a supreme bitch. Things like "I need, I have to have, I want, etc"
There were more but my memory is foggy from those days.
yoop
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- October 5, 2010 at 4:01 pm
well..that's entertaining, but not that many single cyber-searching guys here. You should submit that thing to EHarmony, see if they'll put it in there 'tips' section. You should make one for the women too. Yoop's was too narrowly focused
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- October 5, 2010 at 4:01 pm
well..that's entertaining, but not that many single cyber-searching guys here. You should submit that thing to EHarmony, see if they'll put it in there 'tips' section. You should make one for the women too. Yoop's was too narrowly focused
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- October 5, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Too bad they got rid of the dominatrix hooker section on craigslist, you could rake in the dough there…
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- October 6, 2010 at 1:35 am
Yup, it's the fruit off-season. All the nuts are kibbitzing online today! I always enjoy your lack of punctuation…that really stung, huh? You have a long memory for a schmo.
It's obvious you're having typical "YSL" issues…but that's ok, Nebbish, it's hard to get presentation right when you just don't have the native perspective. With that in mind, I'd say I was more a yenta . I've always seen you as a zaftig yutz and nudzh. Get busy with the online dictionary you meshuggener pisher. What a schlub you are.
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- October 6, 2010 at 1:35 am
Yup, it's the fruit off-season. All the nuts are kibbitzing online today! I always enjoy your lack of punctuation…that really stung, huh? You have a long memory for a schmo.
It's obvious you're having typical "YSL" issues…but that's ok, Nebbish, it's hard to get presentation right when you just don't have the native perspective. With that in mind, I'd say I was more a yenta . I've always seen you as a zaftig yutz and nudzh. Get busy with the online dictionary you meshuggener pisher. What a schlub you are.
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- October 6, 2010 at 1:16 am
No,John you haven't mentioned it…and why would you? The thread has nothing to do with your spouse, it was a discussion about match making, unrealistic expectations and amusing profiles.
That aside, I'm sure you and your bride are a lovely young newlywed couple. I'm hitting 30 years with the same person, I wish 30+ more for you & your wife. I would be thrilled for you… but Merry? If you're not more than 1/4 percent the jackhole you are here…maybe she can last the whole 30 🙂
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- October 6, 2010 at 2:26 am
Hey, I just type them… I don't expect you to cooperate! I'm doing "dian's work" -you know…sorta like "God's Work" but less celestial and holy…just volunteering to keep the Off-topic going…trying to drum up business, doing what she thinks we should for the 'cause'. I'm a simple stay-at-home Mom. My life is very small, John, if I didn't have my side business of matchmaking lonely people, I'd have to share my home-making stories…
like tonight was GLEE NIGHT…the neighborhood teens get together at each other's home to watch. Tonight was our turn to host…Tollhouse cookies, popcorn and ice cream shakes. It's a dull life,but someone's gotta work the blender and microwave.
Sorry I can't produce more interesting stories out of thin air…why don't you try to rouse your absent friend YAWN/BWCW- i'm sure their life of intrigue and secrets could keep you sufficiently entertained ! I'm doing the usual —my lot in life…give give give to ungrateful recipients 🙁
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- October 6, 2010 at 4:07 am
and don't think I haven't noticed! It's just that this virus has me down. I am feeling too punkish to participate much…
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- October 6, 2010 at 4:07 am
and don't think I haven't noticed! It's just that this virus has me down. I am feeling too punkish to participate much…
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- October 6, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I don't know…I haven't seen him lately. The house is dark and my daughter hasn't noticed him on the school bus. About a week after school started, the father and son were walking the mother's little dog ( t his during the school hours). They briefly said hi, but nothing more. I've not seen them since. Very sad. He is a year younger than my child and the grades are in different sections…so her chances of catching him in school are very low and she doesn't see him around the neighborhood. Maybe the Dad sent him to live with relatives?
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- October 6, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I don't know…I haven't seen him lately. The house is dark and my daughter hasn't noticed him on the school bus. About a week after school started, the father and son were walking the mother's little dog ( t his during the school hours). They briefly said hi, but nothing more. I've not seen them since. Very sad. He is a year younger than my child and the grades are in different sections…so her chances of catching him in school are very low and she doesn't see him around the neighborhood. Maybe the Dad sent him to live with relatives?
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- October 6, 2010 at 2:26 am
Hey, I just type them… I don't expect you to cooperate! I'm doing "dian's work" -you know…sorta like "God's Work" but less celestial and holy…just volunteering to keep the Off-topic going…trying to drum up business, doing what she thinks we should for the 'cause'. I'm a simple stay-at-home Mom. My life is very small, John, if I didn't have my side business of matchmaking lonely people, I'd have to share my home-making stories…
like tonight was GLEE NIGHT…the neighborhood teens get together at each other's home to watch. Tonight was our turn to host…Tollhouse cookies, popcorn and ice cream shakes. It's a dull life,but someone's gotta work the blender and microwave.
Sorry I can't produce more interesting stories out of thin air…why don't you try to rouse your absent friend YAWN/BWCW- i'm sure their life of intrigue and secrets could keep you sufficiently entertained ! I'm doing the usual —my lot in life…give give give to ungrateful recipients 🙁
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- October 6, 2010 at 1:16 am
No,John you haven't mentioned it…and why would you? The thread has nothing to do with your spouse, it was a discussion about match making, unrealistic expectations and amusing profiles.
That aside, I'm sure you and your bride are a lovely young newlywed couple. I'm hitting 30 years with the same person, I wish 30+ more for you & your wife. I would be thrilled for you… but Merry? If you're not more than 1/4 percent the jackhole you are here…maybe she can last the whole 30 🙂
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