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Off taf/mek for wk,poss start zel/cotellic, ANXIETY!! Help please!

Forums General Melanoma Community Off taf/mek for wk,poss start zel/cotellic, ANXIETY!! Help please!

  • Post
    mom3girlsFL
    Participant

    Hi All,

    Started taf/mek combo in october 2015 after 3rd reoccurence. First two months were horrible-fever, chills, joint pain-then began fading to only 2-3 days per week feeling bad but managing.

    My anxiety grabbed a hold of me and onc put me on amitriptyline. It helped to keep me asleep at night but, for whatever reason I cant get a grip! My onc appt yesterday was a disaster! I am a nervous wreck and i cant keep control of my thoughts.  I feel like a complete failure bc i cant seem to function at 100%. I sit in front of the tv and think about everything i need to do, and i might do a couple things but thats it.

    I have 3 girls, the oldest is a 17 yr old special needs, and a 15yo and 12yo. Obviously i am caring for my special needs, but i feel like my other two are going to grow up not remembering me as a fun mom, just a tired and sick mom. They went thru this before (5yrs ago) when they were 7 and 10 and i had a radical groin lymph node dissection folowed by interferon.

    Yesterday the onc pulled me off taf/mek for a week and prescribed lorazepam. He wants to switch me to zelboraf cotellic combo which, he says, will do the same as taf/mek with less side effects.

    I feel so guilty about so many things-my husband, who carries all this emotional and financial burden, my kids, other people who are going through much worse than me -WHAT IS MY PROBLEM????!!!  

    I should be happy i have a wonderful, supportive husband, blessed to have such compassionate children and i am,  yet all i want to do is sleep.  I dont know where i went.

    Thanks for listening,

    Laurie

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  • Replies
      jennunicorn
      Participant
      NED

      Hi Laurie,

      I am so sorry you are feeling so much anxiety, certainly dealing with this disease makes getting our heads back to a place of "normal" is very hard. When anyone goes through a difficult time in their life, anxiety and depression can rear it's ugly head very quickly. I, personally, have delt with both in the past and currently deal with keeping myself above water, so to speak, in order not to go into it again. Talking with a therapist, possibly one that can be recommended by your oncologist or others in the field is best, can be very helpful. They can help you understand a little better why it feels like as much as you want to try to keep life under control, most days it feels like it is spinning out of your control. The antidepressant you are on is not a cure for how you're feeling, antidepressants and antianxiety drugs are tools to help aid in the treatment of depression and anxiety. If it isn't working for you, there are other ones to try, but I would first try talking with a psych professional, they know a lot more about how the different drugs work and what would be best. Don't hold all your feelings and anxiety in, have someone to spill it all out to, whether that's a therapist or a friend. Unloading some of the crap in our minds can help us feel less burdened and heavy. 

      It's not easy going through this stuff and I really hope all the best for you. Sending some HUGS to you!

      -Jenn

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      jennunicorn
      Participant
      NED

      Hi Laurie,

      I am so sorry you are feeling so much anxiety, certainly dealing with this disease makes getting our heads back to a place of "normal" is very hard. When anyone goes through a difficult time in their life, anxiety and depression can rear it's ugly head very quickly. I, personally, have delt with both in the past and currently deal with keeping myself above water, so to speak, in order not to go into it again. Talking with a therapist, possibly one that can be recommended by your oncologist or others in the field is best, can be very helpful. They can help you understand a little better why it feels like as much as you want to try to keep life under control, most days it feels like it is spinning out of your control. The antidepressant you are on is not a cure for how you're feeling, antidepressants and antianxiety drugs are tools to help aid in the treatment of depression and anxiety. If it isn't working for you, there are other ones to try, but I would first try talking with a psych professional, they know a lot more about how the different drugs work and what would be best. Don't hold all your feelings and anxiety in, have someone to spill it all out to, whether that's a therapist or a friend. Unloading some of the crap in our minds can help us feel less burdened and heavy. 

      It's not easy going through this stuff and I really hope all the best for you. Sending some HUGS to you!

      -Jenn

      Loading spinner
      jennunicorn
      Participant
      NED

      Hi Laurie,

      I am so sorry you are feeling so much anxiety, certainly dealing with this disease makes getting our heads back to a place of "normal" is very hard. When anyone goes through a difficult time in their life, anxiety and depression can rear it's ugly head very quickly. I, personally, have delt with both in the past and currently deal with keeping myself above water, so to speak, in order not to go into it again. Talking with a therapist, possibly one that can be recommended by your oncologist or others in the field is best, can be very helpful. They can help you understand a little better why it feels like as much as you want to try to keep life under control, most days it feels like it is spinning out of your control. The antidepressant you are on is not a cure for how you're feeling, antidepressants and antianxiety drugs are tools to help aid in the treatment of depression and anxiety. If it isn't working for you, there are other ones to try, but I would first try talking with a psych professional, they know a lot more about how the different drugs work and what would be best. Don't hold all your feelings and anxiety in, have someone to spill it all out to, whether that's a therapist or a friend. Unloading some of the crap in our minds can help us feel less burdened and heavy. 

      It's not easy going through this stuff and I really hope all the best for you. Sending some HUGS to you!

      -Jenn

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      AshleyS
      Participant

      Hey Laurie,

      First of all, I'm not sure I have any advice that will help. BUT, I want you to know I think you're completely normal. Not only do you have A LOT to think about, but you also have drugs pumping through your body and who knows what they're doing to your brain. I agree with Jenn, a therapist can really help. Sometimes it's so nice to talk to someone who doesn't know you. I've also found writing is therapy for me. Maybe there's something out there for you (exercising, painting, shooting a gun…IDK). You'll get out of this funk. In the meantime, don't be afraid to reach out (writing on here is a good step).

      Best of luck,

      Ashley

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      AshleyS
      Participant

      Hey Laurie,

      First of all, I'm not sure I have any advice that will help. BUT, I want you to know I think you're completely normal. Not only do you have A LOT to think about, but you also have drugs pumping through your body and who knows what they're doing to your brain. I agree with Jenn, a therapist can really help. Sometimes it's so nice to talk to someone who doesn't know you. I've also found writing is therapy for me. Maybe there's something out there for you (exercising, painting, shooting a gun…IDK). You'll get out of this funk. In the meantime, don't be afraid to reach out (writing on here is a good step).

      Best of luck,

      Ashley

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      AshleyS
      Participant

      Hey Laurie,

      First of all, I'm not sure I have any advice that will help. BUT, I want you to know I think you're completely normal. Not only do you have A LOT to think about, but you also have drugs pumping through your body and who knows what they're doing to your brain. I agree with Jenn, a therapist can really help. Sometimes it's so nice to talk to someone who doesn't know you. I've also found writing is therapy for me. Maybe there's something out there for you (exercising, painting, shooting a gun…IDK). You'll get out of this funk. In the meantime, don't be afraid to reach out (writing on here is a good step).

      Best of luck,

      Ashley

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      JoshF
      Participant

      Laurie-

      You're not a failure! You're dealing with a very emotional and traumatic life experience. All of us know how you feel. When I was first diagnosed, I hid in my bedroom for 2 months and became very reclusive. I did find someone to talk to and it helped. That being said, nothing has ever changed in terms of anxiety level. I find myself going crazy especially when something new pops up that I have to deal with. I know it won't be ideal but you have to live your life and try to make the best of it. Stay vigilant with your health and push forward. Use this board, there are so many kind & understanding people here who know first hand what you're going through. I'm wishing you nothing but the best!

       

      Be well.

      Josh

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      JoshF
      Participant

      Laurie-

      You're not a failure! You're dealing with a very emotional and traumatic life experience. All of us know how you feel. When I was first diagnosed, I hid in my bedroom for 2 months and became very reclusive. I did find someone to talk to and it helped. That being said, nothing has ever changed in terms of anxiety level. I find myself going crazy especially when something new pops up that I have to deal with. I know it won't be ideal but you have to live your life and try to make the best of it. Stay vigilant with your health and push forward. Use this board, there are so many kind & understanding people here who know first hand what you're going through. I'm wishing you nothing but the best!

       

      Be well.

      Josh

      Loading spinner
      JoshF
      Participant

      Laurie-

      You're not a failure! You're dealing with a very emotional and traumatic life experience. All of us know how you feel. When I was first diagnosed, I hid in my bedroom for 2 months and became very reclusive. I did find someone to talk to and it helped. That being said, nothing has ever changed in terms of anxiety level. I find myself going crazy especially when something new pops up that I have to deal with. I know it won't be ideal but you have to live your life and try to make the best of it. Stay vigilant with your health and push forward. Use this board, there are so many kind & understanding people here who know first hand what you're going through. I'm wishing you nothing but the best!

       

      Be well.

      Josh

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      jaco
      Participant

      One of the best thing about this site is you can vent your problems and then find out hey your normal!!! I have been on the Taf/mek combo since August.  The side affects were about the same, but went to only 1 day a week.  I've been on an antidepessent for years and still on- Zoloft.

      I have found that if I excersize starting with 15 minutes a day and adding with will give you some energy back, I also do some yoga to try and keep my head grounded.  I used to laugh at people doing yoga, but hey it kind of works- besides it's natural and with all these crazy drugs we are on the natural is also good. I have found if I get crazy stressed or falling in the deep hole, I will get a massage and accupunture.  They use accupuncture of stress releif and really helps me sleep.

      So from reading all the other posts, sound like you have no problem- well cancer, but hey don't let it beat you!

      What you are going through we all have been there, will go back there and know what your feeling.  Support groups help, but in some area's they don't have support groups- my case.  So I found what I could do with the most natural way I could.

      Good luck and please know you are not alone.

      Yes Hugs to you.

      Jamie

      Loading spinner
      jaco
      Participant

      One of the best thing about this site is you can vent your problems and then find out hey your normal!!! I have been on the Taf/mek combo since August.  The side affects were about the same, but went to only 1 day a week.  I've been on an antidepessent for years and still on- Zoloft.

      I have found that if I excersize starting with 15 minutes a day and adding with will give you some energy back, I also do some yoga to try and keep my head grounded.  I used to laugh at people doing yoga, but hey it kind of works- besides it's natural and with all these crazy drugs we are on the natural is also good. I have found if I get crazy stressed or falling in the deep hole, I will get a massage and accupunture.  They use accupuncture of stress releif and really helps me sleep.

      So from reading all the other posts, sound like you have no problem- well cancer, but hey don't let it beat you!

      What you are going through we all have been there, will go back there and know what your feeling.  Support groups help, but in some area's they don't have support groups- my case.  So I found what I could do with the most natural way I could.

      Good luck and please know you are not alone.

      Yes Hugs to you.

      Jamie

      Loading spinner
      jaco
      Participant

      One of the best thing about this site is you can vent your problems and then find out hey your normal!!! I have been on the Taf/mek combo since August.  The side affects were about the same, but went to only 1 day a week.  I've been on an antidepessent for years and still on- Zoloft.

      I have found that if I excersize starting with 15 minutes a day and adding with will give you some energy back, I also do some yoga to try and keep my head grounded.  I used to laugh at people doing yoga, but hey it kind of works- besides it's natural and with all these crazy drugs we are on the natural is also good. I have found if I get crazy stressed or falling in the deep hole, I will get a massage and accupunture.  They use accupuncture of stress releif and really helps me sleep.

      So from reading all the other posts, sound like you have no problem- well cancer, but hey don't let it beat you!

      What you are going through we all have been there, will go back there and know what your feeling.  Support groups help, but in some area's they don't have support groups- my case.  So I found what I could do with the most natural way I could.

      Good luck and please know you are not alone.

      Yes Hugs to you.

      Jamie

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