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new diagnose/fearful
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new diagnose/fearful

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › new diagnose/fearful

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    • August 27, 2011 at 8:28 pm
    rjcravens
    Participant
      My name is Rachel and I am 35 yrs old. I have been married for 13 yrs to a wonderful man named Jerry. We have three blessings…Megan 13, Dawson 12, and Amy 10. I am starting a blog in attempt to keep my sanity and hopefully find answers to some questions and meet others and hear their stories. Jan 2010 I had a smal “pimple” come up on my left upper arm. It wlas the same color as my skin and of no concern to me. My husband kept saying “that thing has been there a while, i think you should have it looked at.” Being a nurse, I put it off and figured it will go away. It did not.

      My name is Rachel and I am 35 yrs old. I have been married for 13 yrs to a wonderful man named Jerry. We have three blessings…Megan 13, Dawson 12, and Amy 10. I am starting a blog in attempt to keep my sanity and hopefully find answers to some questions and meet others and hear their stories. Jan 2010 I had a smal “pimple” come up on my left upper arm. It wlas the same color as my skin and of no concern to me. My husband kept saying “that thing has been there a while, i think you should have it looked at.” Being a nurse, I put it off and figured it will go away. It did not. First part of Feb I went to family doc. He had me use some cream for a couple weeks then took it off and stated it was prob a granulation, no worries. A couple week later i get the call its Melanoma. So i went to surgery had wide excision they traced the lymph node and removed it. PET scan and MRI negative. It came back with no spreading to the lymph nodes but was 4cm.
      It was discussed to do nothing or start Interferon. I started the treatment in May IV, then started sub Q in June. It has not been nice to me. As of Monday, I will be reducing the dose in almost half. Here are some of my questions: 1. Did anyone think the Interferon gets easier after a certain point? 2. I am taking cymbalta in the mornings, as well as Ritalin. I take ativan and zofran on days of injections. Is there anything else i should take? And does anyone else have experience with Ritalin for fatigue? 3. When is this feeling of living in fear each day going to pass? I am eager to hear

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    • Replies
        • August 27, 2011 at 10:38 pm
        akls
        Participant

          Rachel,

          I finished interferon in March 2010.  I did the full year.  It seemed once I got over the 6 month "hump" and was on the count-down to be done it did get easier, mentally if not physically.  I've never once regretted my decision, but it wasn't an easy year.  It's especially hard when you work and have a family to take care of.  I had a lot of help and you need to have a lot of help too.  I slept when I needed to and tried to get as much rest on the weekends as I could.  The fear gets better with time.  I still think about it, but I don't obsess about it.  I've even stopped taking my xanax at night because I'm able to sleep without constant worry.  Good luck with the rest of your treatments and feel free to email me if you need some support.

          Amy S. in Michigan

          • August 27, 2011 at 10:38 pm
          akls
          Participant

            Rachel,

            I finished interferon in March 2010.  I did the full year.  It seemed once I got over the 6 month "hump" and was on the count-down to be done it did get easier, mentally if not physically.  I've never once regretted my decision, but it wasn't an easy year.  It's especially hard when you work and have a family to take care of.  I had a lot of help and you need to have a lot of help too.  I slept when I needed to and tried to get as much rest on the weekends as I could.  The fear gets better with time.  I still think about it, but I don't obsess about it.  I've even stopped taking my xanax at night because I'm able to sleep without constant worry.  Good luck with the rest of your treatments and feel free to email me if you need some support.

            Amy S. in Michigan

            • August 28, 2011 at 1:26 am
            washoegal
            Participant

              I am stage 3a and 16months NED, while I chose to wait and watch, I believe you'll get over the fear once you can cut back on all the drugs and start resuming a more normal lifestyle.  Right now there is no way you can get away from the fact you have had Mel, so of course it's playing with your mind.  Interferon is infamous for causing fatigue so it would be pretty dumb if I told you to keep yourself busy so as to try not to think about it.  For the time being try to be good to yourself and stick out the interferon as long as you can, you have made it though the worse part of it. 

               

              Good Luck,

              Mary

              • August 28, 2011 at 1:26 am
              washoegal
              Participant

                I am stage 3a and 16months NED, while I chose to wait and watch, I believe you'll get over the fear once you can cut back on all the drugs and start resuming a more normal lifestyle.  Right now there is no way you can get away from the fact you have had Mel, so of course it's playing with your mind.  Interferon is infamous for causing fatigue so it would be pretty dumb if I told you to keep yourself busy so as to try not to think about it.  For the time being try to be good to yourself and stick out the interferon as long as you can, you have made it though the worse part of it. 

                 

                Good Luck,

                Mary

                • August 31, 2011 at 2:24 pm
                kateboston
                Participant

                  Hi Rachel,

                   

                  I'm 31 years old and am now 14 months NED (stage 3a). I also did Interferon – I did the IV for 1 month and only lasted 2 months on the maintenance phase – it started to deteriorate my retinas so my oncologist stopped the treatment.  I know how hard it is but like some of the other folks said – you are through the worst part of the Interferon. Unfortunately, it's an awful drug but is the only option for us.

                  The worst part for me was the living in fear. Once I started the transfusion after all the surgeries were over, is when the reality of this disease sunk and I got very afraid. It was all I could think about and I was obsessing about it. I was telling everyone I was okay but I really wasn't – I was scared beyond my wildest dreams. I'm sure you don't want to hear this but it stopped about 2 weeks after I stopped the Interferon. I really think the Interferon was causing me to obsess and focus on all the negative rather than allowing me to live my life.

                  It does get better and gets easier. I still have my moments and I still get scared every now and then but for the most part life is now back to normal and I wish the same for you in the very near future.

                  Best of luck.

                  Kate

                  • August 31, 2011 at 2:24 pm
                  kateboston
                  Participant

                    Hi Rachel,

                     

                    I'm 31 years old and am now 14 months NED (stage 3a). I also did Interferon – I did the IV for 1 month and only lasted 2 months on the maintenance phase – it started to deteriorate my retinas so my oncologist stopped the treatment.  I know how hard it is but like some of the other folks said – you are through the worst part of the Interferon. Unfortunately, it's an awful drug but is the only option for us.

                    The worst part for me was the living in fear. Once I started the transfusion after all the surgeries were over, is when the reality of this disease sunk and I got very afraid. It was all I could think about and I was obsessing about it. I was telling everyone I was okay but I really wasn't – I was scared beyond my wildest dreams. I'm sure you don't want to hear this but it stopped about 2 weeks after I stopped the Interferon. I really think the Interferon was causing me to obsess and focus on all the negative rather than allowing me to live my life.

                    It does get better and gets easier. I still have my moments and I still get scared every now and then but for the most part life is now back to normal and I wish the same for you in the very near future.

                    Best of luck.

                    Kate

                    • September 2, 2011 at 12:36 am
                    dutchchic
                    Participant

                      Nurse to Nurse…lol… So did you start interferon as a precaution?  Just wondering, I had a WE and SLN bx nodes neg and they were like…. ok you are cancer free…. well i know that I constantly have to get checks , but just curious… this is all new to me too…. I am a transplant nurse.. not oncology!  lol….  Best of luck and hope it gets easier!!!  ALOT easier for you!

                      • September 2, 2011 at 12:36 am
                      dutchchic
                      Participant

                        Nurse to Nurse…lol… So did you start interferon as a precaution?  Just wondering, I had a WE and SLN bx nodes neg and they were like…. ok you are cancer free…. well i know that I constantly have to get checks , but just curious… this is all new to me too…. I am a transplant nurse.. not oncology!  lol….  Best of luck and hope it gets easier!!!  ALOT easier for you!

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