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nervous until appointment

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › nervous until appointment

  • Post
    • May 16, 2012 at 5:05 pm
    eerye70
    Participant

      I had a melanoma in situ diagnosed in november on my right shoulder. I have tons of atypical moles. I am so spotted. I did some mole photography to keep track of them all for change. Well, i have a mole, on my right leg, it is no bigger than the tip of a pencil lead, that is dark with a shadow to the side of it. I don't know how to describe it. I have this mole and then to the side of it is a softer, paler shadow of a mole. almost as if the mole was drawn in charcoal and then smeared. It seems to have gotten darker to me.

      I had a melanoma in situ diagnosed in november on my right shoulder. I have tons of atypical moles. I am so spotted. I did some mole photography to keep track of them all for change. Well, i have a mole, on my right leg, it is no bigger than the tip of a pencil lead, that is dark with a shadow to the side of it. I don't know how to describe it. I have this mole and then to the side of it is a softer, paler shadow of a mole. almost as if the mole was drawn in charcoal and then smeared. It seems to have gotten darker to me. and Now when i run my finger over it, i can feel it ever so slightly. So i have called the dermotologist and they will be seeing me on monday. My regular appointment was at the end of the month anyway, but i cannot imagine waiting until then. The truth is, i am going to lose my mind until monday as well. I almost wish i had a dermoscope just to peer at it a bit myself. Not that it would do any good, but it makes me nervous. Add to that, i have a small pea size lump in my groin on the same side. Please pray that this is all something routine and not melanoma rearing its ugly head. I feel as though i am going to throw up between now and then. Debbie

    Viewing 8 reply threads
    • Replies
        • May 17, 2012 at 5:28 am
        Tim–MRF
        Guest

          Debbie:

          I am sure that you know this is likely nothing to be concerned about.  That, of course, doesn't keep you from worrying.  I suspect nothing can make that go away.  Just know that a lot of people will be holding you in their thoughts and prayers for the next few days, and please report back on what you find out.

           

          Tim–MRF

          • May 17, 2012 at 5:28 am
          Tim–MRF
          Guest

            Debbie:

            I am sure that you know this is likely nothing to be concerned about.  That, of course, doesn't keep you from worrying.  I suspect nothing can make that go away.  Just know that a lot of people will be holding you in their thoughts and prayers for the next few days, and please report back on what you find out.

             

            Tim–MRF

            • May 17, 2012 at 5:28 am
            Tim–MRF
            Guest

              Debbie:

              I am sure that you know this is likely nothing to be concerned about.  That, of course, doesn't keep you from worrying.  I suspect nothing can make that go away.  Just know that a lot of people will be holding you in their thoughts and prayers for the next few days, and please report back on what you find out.

               

              Tim–MRF

              • May 17, 2012 at 5:54 pm
              mlbjab
              Participant

                Pea size is normal lymph node size!  I know how the mind can get carried away though, thinking the worst.  I hope the weekend goes by quickly for you.  In the year after my diagnosis I had multiple times where I freaked out about moles.  They ended up being ok, although some were atypical.

                • May 17, 2012 at 5:54 pm
                mlbjab
                Participant

                  Pea size is normal lymph node size!  I know how the mind can get carried away though, thinking the worst.  I hope the weekend goes by quickly for you.  In the year after my diagnosis I had multiple times where I freaked out about moles.  They ended up being ok, although some were atypical.

                  • May 17, 2012 at 5:54 pm
                  mlbjab
                  Participant

                    Pea size is normal lymph node size!  I know how the mind can get carried away though, thinking the worst.  I hope the weekend goes by quickly for you.  In the year after my diagnosis I had multiple times where I freaked out about moles.  They ended up being ok, although some were atypical.

                    • May 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm
                    eerye70
                    Participant

                      Thanks for the replies, my appointment is in an hour. I am near sick… I have been having pain under my right arm pit and i think my imagination is running away with me. I hope, anyway. I have never noticed or felt my lymph nodes before. It is about 2 cm or 2.5 cm in size. i think it is about the size of a marble. i don't know, i have never seen or felt a lymph node before so i guess the fact that it is noticeable has me crazy. It is just scary. I think once i can see the doctor, have him look at this mole, maybe get it off, and then i can breathe again. I just can't imagine spending the rest of my life worrying over every spot, every lump every time i feel tired. Its crazy. I have a cousin who lost both parents to melanoma. It is my father's brother and his wife. They were diagnosed and died within 4 months of one another. I also found out that my mom's mother had melanoma. She didn't die from it. She died from heart failure.

                      I am just super sensitive to this right now. I am concerned about my health. I worry that it has come back and none of this worry is going to change anything. I just need to make it to the appointment, get this looked at and move on. I wonder if anyone has any advice for how to put it out of your mind the rest of the time? Debbie

                      • May 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm
                      eerye70
                      Participant

                        Thanks for the replies, my appointment is in an hour. I am near sick… I have been having pain under my right arm pit and i think my imagination is running away with me. I hope, anyway. I have never noticed or felt my lymph nodes before. It is about 2 cm or 2.5 cm in size. i think it is about the size of a marble. i don't know, i have never seen or felt a lymph node before so i guess the fact that it is noticeable has me crazy. It is just scary. I think once i can see the doctor, have him look at this mole, maybe get it off, and then i can breathe again. I just can't imagine spending the rest of my life worrying over every spot, every lump every time i feel tired. Its crazy. I have a cousin who lost both parents to melanoma. It is my father's brother and his wife. They were diagnosed and died within 4 months of one another. I also found out that my mom's mother had melanoma. She didn't die from it. She died from heart failure.

                        I am just super sensitive to this right now. I am concerned about my health. I worry that it has come back and none of this worry is going to change anything. I just need to make it to the appointment, get this looked at and move on. I wonder if anyone has any advice for how to put it out of your mind the rest of the time? Debbie

                        • May 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm
                        eerye70
                        Participant

                          Thanks for the replies, my appointment is in an hour. I am near sick… I have been having pain under my right arm pit and i think my imagination is running away with me. I hope, anyway. I have never noticed or felt my lymph nodes before. It is about 2 cm or 2.5 cm in size. i think it is about the size of a marble. i don't know, i have never seen or felt a lymph node before so i guess the fact that it is noticeable has me crazy. It is just scary. I think once i can see the doctor, have him look at this mole, maybe get it off, and then i can breathe again. I just can't imagine spending the rest of my life worrying over every spot, every lump every time i feel tired. Its crazy. I have a cousin who lost both parents to melanoma. It is my father's brother and his wife. They were diagnosed and died within 4 months of one another. I also found out that my mom's mother had melanoma. She didn't die from it. She died from heart failure.

                          I am just super sensitive to this right now. I am concerned about my health. I worry that it has come back and none of this worry is going to change anything. I just need to make it to the appointment, get this looked at and move on. I wonder if anyone has any advice for how to put it out of your mind the rest of the time? Debbie

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