› Forums › Cutaneous Melanoma Community › My wife received the bad news today.
- This topic has 52 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 3 months ago by
Suebette4467.
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- June 28, 2012 at 12:52 am
After a visual inspection on my wife by a dermatologist the doc told her she has skin cancer and can see melanoma. No biopsy was done. We dont know what stage.
they scheduled her to see a plastic surgeon on july 12th for more testing/surgery.
After a visual inspection on my wife by a dermatologist the doc told her she has skin cancer and can see melanoma. No biopsy was done. We dont know what stage.
they scheduled her to see a plastic surgeon on july 12th for more testing/surgery.
according to my wife…..It was a mole that appeared in 2009 and in 2010 it broke open (no or very little bleeding) and has been that way ever since. She never knew about melanoma so never worried about the mole. My wife hasnt seen any doctor other than a dentist in 5 years and I convinced her to go and get a check up and that was when the doc noticed it.
I don't know what to do next?
What questions to ask the doc and surgeon.
And all of this happened while im out of town 300 miles away for work. And I can't even be with her. she tells me to stay for the 5 days I have left but I think she needs me there for support.
Im lost.
Chuck
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- June 28, 2012 at 1:20 am
Chuck,
Your wife needs to find another dermatologist …..quickly. There is no way anyone can tell you with certainly that there is melanoma without a biopsy! They can tell you that they think but can't imagine why they would send her to a plastic surgeon without doing the test themself.
When the mole is tested there are 3 possible ways. Excisional, punch or a shave. Do not let her have a shave biopsy. If this is melanoma and if deep they could not with certainty how deep it is.
Some dermatologists have a lot more experience with melanoma then others. I saw in your profile you are from Johnstown. I'm thinking that's Pennsyvania. If so there are many dermatologists that are specialists in the area. Univ. of Penn has a melanoma cutaneous clinic for example.
Until the biopsy is completed and the pathology in your hand there is no way to know.
Good luck,
Linda
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- June 28, 2012 at 1:20 am
Chuck,
Your wife needs to find another dermatologist …..quickly. There is no way anyone can tell you with certainly that there is melanoma without a biopsy! They can tell you that they think but can't imagine why they would send her to a plastic surgeon without doing the test themself.
When the mole is tested there are 3 possible ways. Excisional, punch or a shave. Do not let her have a shave biopsy. If this is melanoma and if deep they could not with certainty how deep it is.
Some dermatologists have a lot more experience with melanoma then others. I saw in your profile you are from Johnstown. I'm thinking that's Pennsyvania. If so there are many dermatologists that are specialists in the area. Univ. of Penn has a melanoma cutaneous clinic for example.
Until the biopsy is completed and the pathology in your hand there is no way to know.
Good luck,
Linda
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- June 28, 2012 at 1:20 am
Chuck,
Your wife needs to find another dermatologist …..quickly. There is no way anyone can tell you with certainly that there is melanoma without a biopsy! They can tell you that they think but can't imagine why they would send her to a plastic surgeon without doing the test themself.
When the mole is tested there are 3 possible ways. Excisional, punch or a shave. Do not let her have a shave biopsy. If this is melanoma and if deep they could not with certainty how deep it is.
Some dermatologists have a lot more experience with melanoma then others. I saw in your profile you are from Johnstown. I'm thinking that's Pennsyvania. If so there are many dermatologists that are specialists in the area. Univ. of Penn has a melanoma cutaneous clinic for example.
Until the biopsy is completed and the pathology in your hand there is no way to know.
Good luck,
Linda
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- June 28, 2012 at 1:30 am
Hi Chuck, I'm sorry to hear about the bad news you and your wife received today.
I don't quite understand how a visual inspection can confirm that this lesion is melanoma. The doctor may have his or her suspicions but won't know for sure until a biopsy is done and the results are in. Unfortunately, the waiting is brutal.
If I were you, I would head home to be with her. She has to be an emotional basket case right now. And you're probably shaken as well.
Best piece of advice I can give you is to not read too much on the internet right now. This board is a good place for support and I would stay here for now where you can learn from peoples' first hand experiences.
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- June 28, 2012 at 1:30 am
Hi Chuck, I'm sorry to hear about the bad news you and your wife received today.
I don't quite understand how a visual inspection can confirm that this lesion is melanoma. The doctor may have his or her suspicions but won't know for sure until a biopsy is done and the results are in. Unfortunately, the waiting is brutal.
If I were you, I would head home to be with her. She has to be an emotional basket case right now. And you're probably shaken as well.
Best piece of advice I can give you is to not read too much on the internet right now. This board is a good place for support and I would stay here for now where you can learn from peoples' first hand experiences.
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- June 28, 2012 at 1:30 am
Hi Chuck, I'm sorry to hear about the bad news you and your wife received today.
I don't quite understand how a visual inspection can confirm that this lesion is melanoma. The doctor may have his or her suspicions but won't know for sure until a biopsy is done and the results are in. Unfortunately, the waiting is brutal.
If I were you, I would head home to be with her. She has to be an emotional basket case right now. And you're probably shaken as well.
Best piece of advice I can give you is to not read too much on the internet right now. This board is a good place for support and I would stay here for now where you can learn from peoples' first hand experiences.
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:02 am
Many lesions may LOOK like melanoma, but they certainly don't have to be. Until you have a biopsy, you won't know what you're dealing with. Getting the biopsy comes first and I would recommend seeing a specialist. Get copies of all pathology reports for future reference. When you have the basic biopsy information – THAT is when we can give you feedback. Until then, everything is just speculation.
Hang in there,
Janner
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- June 28, 2012 at 11:20 am
Definitely have her see a different dermatologist! I had a lesion develop on the sole of my foot last year which eventually was removed (and benign). To put things in perspective, even doctors at the Johns Hopkins melanoma clinic, where I'm being treated, were not able to tell me with 100% certainty whether it was melanoma just by looking at it. And these folks look at melanomas all the time!
Your wife's doctor was totally out of line.
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- June 28, 2012 at 11:20 am
Definitely have her see a different dermatologist! I had a lesion develop on the sole of my foot last year which eventually was removed (and benign). To put things in perspective, even doctors at the Johns Hopkins melanoma clinic, where I'm being treated, were not able to tell me with 100% certainty whether it was melanoma just by looking at it. And these folks look at melanomas all the time!
Your wife's doctor was totally out of line.
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- June 28, 2012 at 11:20 am
Definitely have her see a different dermatologist! I had a lesion develop on the sole of my foot last year which eventually was removed (and benign). To put things in perspective, even doctors at the Johns Hopkins melanoma clinic, where I'm being treated, were not able to tell me with 100% certainty whether it was melanoma just by looking at it. And these folks look at melanomas all the time!
Your wife's doctor was totally out of line.
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I'm glad she's seeing another doctor. Like everyone said – there is NO way to tell unless it's biopsied. I was told my mole was 'fine' by both my regular doctor and dermatologist. It was far from fine. I was glad I pushed them to remove it!
Best of luck! Thoughts and prayers your way!
Erin
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I'm glad she's seeing another doctor. Like everyone said – there is NO way to tell unless it's biopsied. I was told my mole was 'fine' by both my regular doctor and dermatologist. It was far from fine. I was glad I pushed them to remove it!
Best of luck! Thoughts and prayers your way!
Erin
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I'm glad she's seeing another doctor. Like everyone said – there is NO way to tell unless it's biopsied. I was told my mole was 'fine' by both my regular doctor and dermatologist. It was far from fine. I was glad I pushed them to remove it!
Best of luck! Thoughts and prayers your way!
Erin
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:02 am
Many lesions may LOOK like melanoma, but they certainly don't have to be. Until you have a biopsy, you won't know what you're dealing with. Getting the biopsy comes first and I would recommend seeing a specialist. Get copies of all pathology reports for future reference. When you have the basic biopsy information – THAT is when we can give you feedback. Until then, everything is just speculation.
Hang in there,
Janner
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:02 am
Many lesions may LOOK like melanoma, but they certainly don't have to be. Until you have a biopsy, you won't know what you're dealing with. Getting the biopsy comes first and I would recommend seeing a specialist. Get copies of all pathology reports for future reference. When you have the basic biopsy information – THAT is when we can give you feedback. Until then, everything is just speculation.
Hang in there,
Janner
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:08 am
Chuck,
Tell your wife to get the first appoint she can to have the mole removed, where ever she can. The advice above about the preferred method is correct. Also make sure she never goes back to that derm. It is impossible to tell from a visual inspection if something is melanoma.
Mary
Stage 3
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:08 am
Chuck,
Tell your wife to get the first appoint she can to have the mole removed, where ever she can. The advice above about the preferred method is correct. Also make sure she never goes back to that derm. It is impossible to tell from a visual inspection if something is melanoma.
Mary
Stage 3
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- June 28, 2012 at 2:08 am
Chuck,
Tell your wife to get the first appoint she can to have the mole removed, where ever she can. The advice above about the preferred method is correct. Also make sure she never goes back to that derm. It is impossible to tell from a visual inspection if something is melanoma.
Mary
Stage 3
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- June 28, 2012 at 4:02 am
Hi Chuck. I am from Altoona and my husband was diagnosed with mucosal malignant melanoma of the nasal cavity in April. We have been through the mill with surgeries, tests, scans and waiting. Something, most likely cancer, is in the lung and we are waiting for a biopsy to be done next week, then after that the lung nodule will be dealt with. After that, and when his nose, which now has a hole in it, is taken care of, treatment can begin. I know our situations are different, but if your wife does turn out to have melanoma, there is a melanoma specialist at the Hillman Cancer Center in Pittsburgh. His name is Dr. Tarhini and the phone number for his office is 412-692-4724. You may need a referral from your local doctor. Dr. Tarhini is overseeing my husband's care. The treatments are to take place in Altoona. I've heard of other places to go near Philadelphia and I don't know which is best. I also don't know of who to refer you to locally for another opinion, but I would ask around. I saw Dr. McKinney in Altoona a few years ago for something and he seemed pretty thorough. He may be someone to check into. The Pittsburgh ride isn't bad anymore if you have to go there. Good luck.
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- June 28, 2012 at 4:02 am
Hi Chuck. I am from Altoona and my husband was diagnosed with mucosal malignant melanoma of the nasal cavity in April. We have been through the mill with surgeries, tests, scans and waiting. Something, most likely cancer, is in the lung and we are waiting for a biopsy to be done next week, then after that the lung nodule will be dealt with. After that, and when his nose, which now has a hole in it, is taken care of, treatment can begin. I know our situations are different, but if your wife does turn out to have melanoma, there is a melanoma specialist at the Hillman Cancer Center in Pittsburgh. His name is Dr. Tarhini and the phone number for his office is 412-692-4724. You may need a referral from your local doctor. Dr. Tarhini is overseeing my husband's care. The treatments are to take place in Altoona. I've heard of other places to go near Philadelphia and I don't know which is best. I also don't know of who to refer you to locally for another opinion, but I would ask around. I saw Dr. McKinney in Altoona a few years ago for something and he seemed pretty thorough. He may be someone to check into. The Pittsburgh ride isn't bad anymore if you have to go there. Good luck.
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- June 28, 2012 at 4:02 am
Hi Chuck. I am from Altoona and my husband was diagnosed with mucosal malignant melanoma of the nasal cavity in April. We have been through the mill with surgeries, tests, scans and waiting. Something, most likely cancer, is in the lung and we are waiting for a biopsy to be done next week, then after that the lung nodule will be dealt with. After that, and when his nose, which now has a hole in it, is taken care of, treatment can begin. I know our situations are different, but if your wife does turn out to have melanoma, there is a melanoma specialist at the Hillman Cancer Center in Pittsburgh. His name is Dr. Tarhini and the phone number for his office is 412-692-4724. You may need a referral from your local doctor. Dr. Tarhini is overseeing my husband's care. The treatments are to take place in Altoona. I've heard of other places to go near Philadelphia and I don't know which is best. I also don't know of who to refer you to locally for another opinion, but I would ask around. I saw Dr. McKinney in Altoona a few years ago for something and he seemed pretty thorough. He may be someone to check into. The Pittsburgh ride isn't bad anymore if you have to go there. Good luck.
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- June 28, 2012 at 7:57 am
Hi Chuck,
You're getting good advice here, but I'll reiterate:
* Get it biopsied by a dermatologist, preferably a melanoma specialist, but do *not* let them do a shave biopsy.
Why? Because staging, and thus the follow up treatments for melanoma are often based on how deep into the skin the melanoma is. If they do a shave biopsy, they will affect the overall depth and may never get an accurate staging.
Depending on your depth, it can affect the staging (level) of melanoma. And the stage (level) of melanoma often indicates the recommended treatments.
Hopefully it just looks like it could be melanoma, but is not or if it is, that it's caught early.
-Dwayne
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- June 28, 2012 at 7:57 am
Hi Chuck,
You're getting good advice here, but I'll reiterate:
* Get it biopsied by a dermatologist, preferably a melanoma specialist, but do *not* let them do a shave biopsy.
Why? Because staging, and thus the follow up treatments for melanoma are often based on how deep into the skin the melanoma is. If they do a shave biopsy, they will affect the overall depth and may never get an accurate staging.
Depending on your depth, it can affect the staging (level) of melanoma. And the stage (level) of melanoma often indicates the recommended treatments.
Hopefully it just looks like it could be melanoma, but is not or if it is, that it's caught early.
-Dwayne
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- June 28, 2012 at 7:57 am
Hi Chuck,
You're getting good advice here, but I'll reiterate:
* Get it biopsied by a dermatologist, preferably a melanoma specialist, but do *not* let them do a shave biopsy.
Why? Because staging, and thus the follow up treatments for melanoma are often based on how deep into the skin the melanoma is. If they do a shave biopsy, they will affect the overall depth and may never get an accurate staging.
Depending on your depth, it can affect the staging (level) of melanoma. And the stage (level) of melanoma often indicates the recommended treatments.
Hopefully it just looks like it could be melanoma, but is not or if it is, that it's caught early.
-Dwayne
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- June 29, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Thank you all for your help and suggestions. We are seeing a dermatologist Monday morning.
Here is the website of the dermatology practice http://www.westmorelanddermatology.com
Has anyone had any experience with them?
We will be asking for an excisional biopsy as I was told not to get a shave or punch.
chuck
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- June 29, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Thank you all for your help and suggestions. We are seeing a dermatologist Monday morning.
Here is the website of the dermatology practice http://www.westmorelanddermatology.com
Has anyone had any experience with them?
We will be asking for an excisional biopsy as I was told not to get a shave or punch.
chuck
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- June 29, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Thank you all for your help and suggestions. We are seeing a dermatologist Monday morning.
Here is the website of the dermatology practice http://www.westmorelanddermatology.com
Has anyone had any experience with them?
We will be asking for an excisional biopsy as I was told not to get a shave or punch.
chuck
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- June 29, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Did you tell the dermatology clinic you were requesting an excisional biopsy? This is much more involved than a shave or punch and typically takes some time to do. There may not be enough time allocated in a normal appointment to do that – and some places would only do that on "surgery days". Totally depends on the clinic, but be aware that excisional takes time and is NOT the norm. (Not saying that is what you shouldn't have, just saying you might not get it Monday).
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- June 29, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Did you tell the dermatology clinic you were requesting an excisional biopsy? This is much more involved than a shave or punch and typically takes some time to do. There may not be enough time allocated in a normal appointment to do that – and some places would only do that on "surgery days". Totally depends on the clinic, but be aware that excisional takes time and is NOT the norm. (Not saying that is what you shouldn't have, just saying you might not get it Monday).
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- June 29, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Did you tell the dermatology clinic you were requesting an excisional biopsy? This is much more involved than a shave or punch and typically takes some time to do. There may not be enough time allocated in a normal appointment to do that – and some places would only do that on "surgery days". Totally depends on the clinic, but be aware that excisional takes time and is NOT the norm. (Not saying that is what you shouldn't have, just saying you might not get it Monday).
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- June 29, 2012 at 10:50 pm
No I didn't request an excisional biopsy when making the appointment. I will call in the morning before the appointment.
Its a 45 minute drive for us so I don't want to make the trip if they can't do it then. Thanks for letting us know.
Chuck and Michelle
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- June 29, 2012 at 10:50 pm
No I didn't request an excisional biopsy when making the appointment. I will call in the morning before the appointment.
Its a 45 minute drive for us so I don't want to make the trip if they can't do it then. Thanks for letting us know.
Chuck and Michelle
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- June 29, 2012 at 10:50 pm
No I didn't request an excisional biopsy when making the appointment. I will call in the morning before the appointment.
Its a 45 minute drive for us so I don't want to make the trip if they can't do it then. Thanks for letting us know.
Chuck and Michelle
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- June 30, 2012 at 1:03 am
My wife decided we should just keep the 10am appointment on monday and go in and request an excisional biopsy and if they can't do it we will just reschedule.
also here is a pic of the enlarged mole.
Chuck and michelle
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- June 30, 2012 at 1:03 am
My wife decided we should just keep the 10am appointment on monday and go in and request an excisional biopsy and if they can't do it we will just reschedule.
also here is a pic of the enlarged mole.
Chuck and michelle
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- June 30, 2012 at 1:03 am
My wife decided we should just keep the 10am appointment on monday and go in and request an excisional biopsy and if they can't do it we will just reschedule.
also here is a pic of the enlarged mole.
Chuck and michelle
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- July 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Back from the Doc. the doc is guessing that it is basal cell. My wife was ok with them doing a shave biopsy since it was thought to be basal cell and they didn't want put a hole in my wifes back if they don't need too. If it was me i would have still asked for an excision but my wife went with a shave.
anyway…. im uploading a video i took with my phone during the visit and will post the link as soon as it is finished uploading. You can hear everything the doctor was saying.
Thanks
Chuck and Michelle
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- July 2, 2012 at 8:23 pm
yeah the wait is 7-10 days…..ugh.
ok so here is the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuFlzNufq1c
if you watch it and see anything that needs our attention please let us know.
Thanks
Chuck and Michelle
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- July 2, 2012 at 8:23 pm
yeah the wait is 7-10 days…..ugh.
ok so here is the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuFlzNufq1c
if you watch it and see anything that needs our attention please let us know.
Thanks
Chuck and Michelle
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- July 2, 2012 at 8:23 pm
yeah the wait is 7-10 days…..ugh.
ok so here is the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuFlzNufq1c
if you watch it and see anything that needs our attention please let us know.
Thanks
Chuck and Michelle
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- July 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Back from the Doc. the doc is guessing that it is basal cell. My wife was ok with them doing a shave biopsy since it was thought to be basal cell and they didn't want put a hole in my wifes back if they don't need too. If it was me i would have still asked for an excision but my wife went with a shave.
anyway…. im uploading a video i took with my phone during the visit and will post the link as soon as it is finished uploading. You can hear everything the doctor was saying.
Thanks
Chuck and Michelle
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- July 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Back from the Doc. the doc is guessing that it is basal cell. My wife was ok with them doing a shave biopsy since it was thought to be basal cell and they didn't want put a hole in my wifes back if they don't need too. If it was me i would have still asked for an excision but my wife went with a shave.
anyway…. im uploading a video i took with my phone during the visit and will post the link as soon as it is finished uploading. You can hear everything the doctor was saying.
Thanks
Chuck and Michelle
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- September 4, 2018 at 11:52 pm
Hello. I was reading your post. I am from Wilmington,NC . A year ago I had a suspicious mole removed , never biopsyed. She threw in trash. It grew back a few months later. knowing nothing about Melanoma.Mind you it was on my neck. I had a 4.4 growth . I have 2 surgeries with physical problems. It spread to my lymph nodes. Now doing Chemo. They should have to biopsy every thing removed . I just thought our cases sounded familiar. I hope your wife and your family are doing well.
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Tagged: cutaneous melanoma
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