You're in a fairly similar situation I was in June of 2016. First, to reassure you, there are options.
I had a 5 cm chunk taken out of the scapha on my ear, thats the flat bit right below the helix and initially it was such a large chunk that we had a serious conversation about taking the entire ear off and replacing with a prosthetic. (** I know of two other people who have had their entire ear's taken and it is really tough to tell the difference)
I objected and accepted that even if my ear were to take more of a squared off blob I'd be more comfortable with the real thing if the plastic surgeon could rebuild it. It was pretty remarkable, they were able to take cartiladge from inside my ear, rebuild the helix and the scapha and cover it with a flap of skin from the back of my ear. Today, more than 2 years later when people where the melanoma was removed they're truly shocked to hear it was on my ear as it is nearly indistinguishable..from the front. My neck dissection scar is another story ha ha. But I've had plenty of barber shop comments.
Frankly I think the elf ear is hilarious, but both options you described seem reasonable. I'd ask what the surgeon felt better performing. For it all to heal properly definitely follow their care instructs to the letter. You'll have to hear this big white cup looking thing for a few weeks..but hey, beats the alternative. This was all done at the University of Utah.
One of my nodes was positive, I'm over a year out from finishing a Keytruda trial and still NED. Have faith, stay positive, the people who make up this forum are a truly incredible resource.
Holler with any other questions and best of luck.
.
