› Forums › General Melanoma Community › melanoma has worn me down.
- This topic has 24 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 1 month ago by
Tina D.
- Post
-
- March 10, 2013 at 12:44 am
I am due for my second surgery in less than a year. The melanoma came back on my right shoulder, the said it was stage 2 clark level 4 when they did the WLE at the VA the first time. Now its back, don't know the depth etc. I am just frustrated and very depressed……and very depressed for anybody that has to battle this cancer. I guess everything happens for a reason right? I have thousands of questions in my mind…..what if I was stage 3 etc the first time. I do trust my oncologist, but you always wonder when its the VA. I had a residen
I am due for my second surgery in less than a year. The melanoma came back on my right shoulder, the said it was stage 2 clark level 4 when they did the WLE at the VA the first time. Now its back, don't know the depth etc. I am just frustrated and very depressed……and very depressed for anybody that has to battle this cancer. I guess everything happens for a reason right? I have thousands of questions in my mind…..what if I was stage 3 etc the first time. I do trust my oncologist, but you always wonder when its the VA. I had a resident do the punch biopsy. Anyway just rambling. God bless anybody going through this.
- Replies
-
-
- March 10, 2013 at 1:19 am
I understand you completely. I am military for a few more weeks and currently going to BAMC in San Antonio. Last week I had my SNB and one came back positive. Now I have to go back and have all node in the right side of my neck removed next week. Then the fun part interferon treatments. My oncologist said I am stage three. I am also doing a full MRI and PET to see where else it may have gone. When I first round out Ihad it iI went thru all the stages of greif pretty quickly. Now there is nothing more for me to stress about.. I came to the realization that if its my time then it time. If I combat it then great for me. I have been getting my orders in line just in case for my family also. All I can say is look for the good in life and enjoy your family as much as you can.. I think it has helped me a lot to be with them more and joke around about it too. Goodluck and hope you stick around for a long time.. mark d -
- March 10, 2013 at 1:19 am
I understand you completely. I am military for a few more weeks and currently going to BAMC in San Antonio. Last week I had my SNB and one came back positive. Now I have to go back and have all node in the right side of my neck removed next week. Then the fun part interferon treatments. My oncologist said I am stage three. I am also doing a full MRI and PET to see where else it may have gone. When I first round out Ihad it iI went thru all the stages of greif pretty quickly. Now there is nothing more for me to stress about.. I came to the realization that if its my time then it time. If I combat it then great for me. I have been getting my orders in line just in case for my family also. All I can say is look for the good in life and enjoy your family as much as you can.. I think it has helped me a lot to be with them more and joke around about it too. Goodluck and hope you stick around for a long time.. mark d -
- March 10, 2013 at 1:19 am
I understand you completely. I am military for a few more weeks and currently going to BAMC in San Antonio. Last week I had my SNB and one came back positive. Now I have to go back and have all node in the right side of my neck removed next week. Then the fun part interferon treatments. My oncologist said I am stage three. I am also doing a full MRI and PET to see where else it may have gone. When I first round out Ihad it iI went thru all the stages of greif pretty quickly. Now there is nothing more for me to stress about.. I came to the realization that if its my time then it time. If I combat it then great for me. I have been getting my orders in line just in case for my family also. All I can say is look for the good in life and enjoy your family as much as you can.. I think it has helped me a lot to be with them more and joke around about it too. Goodluck and hope you stick around for a long time.. mark d -
- March 10, 2013 at 3:02 am
Tony,
I asked this question before but am not sure I ever got an answer. Did they do the SNB the first time? Do you know the depth from the first time? Depth doesn't really matter on a recurrence, it really is only telling in initial staging. So now, are they planning on doing the SNB prior to this next surgery. I know not all VA centers are created equal and much depends on your doctor. I know that at the SLC VA, my father was offered the SNB for his stage II lesion. He declined but that was based on age and quality of life. The SLC VA works closely with the Huntsman Cancer Center which is a NCI Designated Cancer Center. My father has seen the top melanoma surgical oncologist from Huntsman at the VA. Same with his lung cancer doc. Maybe you can ask for another opinion to make sure you are getting the best care possible?
Hang in there!
Janner
-
- March 10, 2013 at 3:02 am
Tony,
I asked this question before but am not sure I ever got an answer. Did they do the SNB the first time? Do you know the depth from the first time? Depth doesn't really matter on a recurrence, it really is only telling in initial staging. So now, are they planning on doing the SNB prior to this next surgery. I know not all VA centers are created equal and much depends on your doctor. I know that at the SLC VA, my father was offered the SNB for his stage II lesion. He declined but that was based on age and quality of life. The SLC VA works closely with the Huntsman Cancer Center which is a NCI Designated Cancer Center. My father has seen the top melanoma surgical oncologist from Huntsman at the VA. Same with his lung cancer doc. Maybe you can ask for another opinion to make sure you are getting the best care possible?
Hang in there!
Janner
-
- March 10, 2013 at 3:02 am
Tony,
I asked this question before but am not sure I ever got an answer. Did they do the SNB the first time? Do you know the depth from the first time? Depth doesn't really matter on a recurrence, it really is only telling in initial staging. So now, are they planning on doing the SNB prior to this next surgery. I know not all VA centers are created equal and much depends on your doctor. I know that at the SLC VA, my father was offered the SNB for his stage II lesion. He declined but that was based on age and quality of life. The SLC VA works closely with the Huntsman Cancer Center which is a NCI Designated Cancer Center. My father has seen the top melanoma surgical oncologist from Huntsman at the VA. Same with his lung cancer doc. Maybe you can ask for another opinion to make sure you are getting the best care possible?
Hang in there!
Janner
-
- March 10, 2013 at 4:03 am
My niece told me the other day, "I wish this were all over for you"…but..IMO,at this point, for me anyway, the only way it'll be over is if it KILLS me..so I DON"T wish it were over yet.
I know it's tough, facing all this. But you are a tough guy. If you are lucky, you get to fight with melanoma another 30 yrs. Hopefully, much of that time, YEARS of that time, it won't be intruding on you every day. Keeping it at bay is a good objective. And grabbing life by the throat and living every second of it.
We all wallow in depression sometimes, and are often full of anxiety, but you need to try to limit that, and find a way to enjoy your life to the fullest.
See if you can't turn that depression into anger, makes it a little easier to kick cancer's ass.
-
- March 10, 2013 at 4:03 am
My niece told me the other day, "I wish this were all over for you"…but..IMO,at this point, for me anyway, the only way it'll be over is if it KILLS me..so I DON"T wish it were over yet.
I know it's tough, facing all this. But you are a tough guy. If you are lucky, you get to fight with melanoma another 30 yrs. Hopefully, much of that time, YEARS of that time, it won't be intruding on you every day. Keeping it at bay is a good objective. And grabbing life by the throat and living every second of it.
We all wallow in depression sometimes, and are often full of anxiety, but you need to try to limit that, and find a way to enjoy your life to the fullest.
See if you can't turn that depression into anger, makes it a little easier to kick cancer's ass.
-
- March 10, 2013 at 4:03 am
My niece told me the other day, "I wish this were all over for you"…but..IMO,at this point, for me anyway, the only way it'll be over is if it KILLS me..so I DON"T wish it were over yet.
I know it's tough, facing all this. But you are a tough guy. If you are lucky, you get to fight with melanoma another 30 yrs. Hopefully, much of that time, YEARS of that time, it won't be intruding on you every day. Keeping it at bay is a good objective. And grabbing life by the throat and living every second of it.
We all wallow in depression sometimes, and are often full of anxiety, but you need to try to limit that, and find a way to enjoy your life to the fullest.
See if you can't turn that depression into anger, makes it a little easier to kick cancer's ass.
-
- March 10, 2013 at 5:54 am
I do not want to minimize your experience. I am stage 4 and I am NED. I have had major surgeries like a thoracotomy, lung resection along with the WLE surgeries on my skin. So has many many melanoma patients. Count your blessings that they are doing them on the outside of your body and that you are stage 2. Praying your battle is a short squirmish and you can enjoy a long and healthy life! I do feel for you though when it comes to the VA…my ex was Army and my experience with the military hospitals and doctors were less than good…
-
- March 10, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Keep the faith, I know its easier said than done. I am Stage IV for over 2 years now, plan on being this way for another 30!! From my experience, you have to go way down first (emotionally and spiritually) and then you rise up. Trust me, it will happen. I've been through a couple of surgeries, lost my lymph nodes on my left side, gave IL-2 a shot, and now I hit lucky on BRAF/MEK at MGH here in Boston. You just need to keep that hope alive in you and one of the many options will work. And when it stops working, we move on to another one. After all this time, I see Melanoma as a chronic disease that I will hopefully live with for the rest of my life. I have no intent of letting it consume me nor kill me. You will meet many great folks on this web site who have been through it all, both lows and highs. Just lean on someone from this site and lets fight together.
take care,
Jim
-
- March 10, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Keep the faith, I know its easier said than done. I am Stage IV for over 2 years now, plan on being this way for another 30!! From my experience, you have to go way down first (emotionally and spiritually) and then you rise up. Trust me, it will happen. I've been through a couple of surgeries, lost my lymph nodes on my left side, gave IL-2 a shot, and now I hit lucky on BRAF/MEK at MGH here in Boston. You just need to keep that hope alive in you and one of the many options will work. And when it stops working, we move on to another one. After all this time, I see Melanoma as a chronic disease that I will hopefully live with for the rest of my life. I have no intent of letting it consume me nor kill me. You will meet many great folks on this web site who have been through it all, both lows and highs. Just lean on someone from this site and lets fight together.
take care,
Jim
-
- March 10, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Keep the faith, I know its easier said than done. I am Stage IV for over 2 years now, plan on being this way for another 30!! From my experience, you have to go way down first (emotionally and spiritually) and then you rise up. Trust me, it will happen. I've been through a couple of surgeries, lost my lymph nodes on my left side, gave IL-2 a shot, and now I hit lucky on BRAF/MEK at MGH here in Boston. You just need to keep that hope alive in you and one of the many options will work. And when it stops working, we move on to another one. After all this time, I see Melanoma as a chronic disease that I will hopefully live with for the rest of my life. I have no intent of letting it consume me nor kill me. You will meet many great folks on this web site who have been through it all, both lows and highs. Just lean on someone from this site and lets fight together.
take care,
Jim
-
- March 10, 2013 at 5:54 am
I do not want to minimize your experience. I am stage 4 and I am NED. I have had major surgeries like a thoracotomy, lung resection along with the WLE surgeries on my skin. So has many many melanoma patients. Count your blessings that they are doing them on the outside of your body and that you are stage 2. Praying your battle is a short squirmish and you can enjoy a long and healthy life! I do feel for you though when it comes to the VA…my ex was Army and my experience with the military hospitals and doctors were less than good…
-
- March 10, 2013 at 5:54 am
I do not want to minimize your experience. I am stage 4 and I am NED. I have had major surgeries like a thoracotomy, lung resection along with the WLE surgeries on my skin. So has many many melanoma patients. Count your blessings that they are doing them on the outside of your body and that you are stage 2. Praying your battle is a short squirmish and you can enjoy a long and healthy life! I do feel for you though when it comes to the VA…my ex was Army and my experience with the military hospitals and doctors were less than good…
-
- March 11, 2013 at 3:54 am
……and rambling is o.k, I think that's what get's us all through the rough patches! I am stage IV and started out there and my motto is "I have no where to go but up!" Hang in there, it's a tough diagnosis but there is so much good news about treatments and longevity with this disease. If I can give you one sound piece of advice…..ramp up your immune system, help your body out, it's fighting for you and always, do your best and don't look back!
-
- March 11, 2013 at 3:54 am
……and rambling is o.k, I think that's what get's us all through the rough patches! I am stage IV and started out there and my motto is "I have no where to go but up!" Hang in there, it's a tough diagnosis but there is so much good news about treatments and longevity with this disease. If I can give you one sound piece of advice…..ramp up your immune system, help your body out, it's fighting for you and always, do your best and don't look back!
-
- March 11, 2013 at 3:54 am
……and rambling is o.k, I think that's what get's us all through the rough patches! I am stage IV and started out there and my motto is "I have no where to go but up!" Hang in there, it's a tough diagnosis but there is so much good news about treatments and longevity with this disease. If I can give you one sound piece of advice…..ramp up your immune system, help your body out, it's fighting for you and always, do your best and don't look back!
-
- March 12, 2013 at 12:26 pm
This disease can definitely wear you out emotionally , no question. We have probably all felt it at one point or another. I encourage you, though, with the many stories of people surviving for many many happy years. I have been stage IV since 2005. Yes, I have had numerous surgeries, and several treatments…BUT here, today, I am feeling wonderful and continuing to enjoy precious time with my family. Once you get on the other side of this surgery, you can begin healing up from it, follow up with the appts, etc….and, most importantly…live your life with those you love. It will not feel so daunting every day, I promise! I am not addressing the staging, etc… but sounds like it has remained local. PETs can certainly be reassuring, and I wouldnt write a negative PET off as if it meant nothing, it is still a very hopeful report! Hang in there, and you can do this….one day and one step at a time,
Tina
-
- March 12, 2013 at 12:26 pm
This disease can definitely wear you out emotionally , no question. We have probably all felt it at one point or another. I encourage you, though, with the many stories of people surviving for many many happy years. I have been stage IV since 2005. Yes, I have had numerous surgeries, and several treatments…BUT here, today, I am feeling wonderful and continuing to enjoy precious time with my family. Once you get on the other side of this surgery, you can begin healing up from it, follow up with the appts, etc….and, most importantly…live your life with those you love. It will not feel so daunting every day, I promise! I am not addressing the staging, etc… but sounds like it has remained local. PETs can certainly be reassuring, and I wouldnt write a negative PET off as if it meant nothing, it is still a very hopeful report! Hang in there, and you can do this….one day and one step at a time,
Tina
-
- March 12, 2013 at 12:26 pm
This disease can definitely wear you out emotionally , no question. We have probably all felt it at one point or another. I encourage you, though, with the many stories of people surviving for many many happy years. I have been stage IV since 2005. Yes, I have had numerous surgeries, and several treatments…BUT here, today, I am feeling wonderful and continuing to enjoy precious time with my family. Once you get on the other side of this surgery, you can begin healing up from it, follow up with the appts, etc….and, most importantly…live your life with those you love. It will not feel so daunting every day, I promise! I am not addressing the staging, etc… but sounds like it has remained local. PETs can certainly be reassuring, and I wouldnt write a negative PET off as if it meant nothing, it is still a very hopeful report! Hang in there, and you can do this….one day and one step at a time,
Tina
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.