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Melanoma and Multiple Sclerosis and Depression and more…

Forums General Melanoma Community Melanoma and Multiple Sclerosis and Depression and more…

  • Post
    chalknpens
    Participant

      I told my psychologist that, following the fifth surgery, and the not yet faded scar of the first and largest wound on my back, I am feeling defeated at the prospect now of every three-month dermatology check-ins, and the ongoing six month neurology MS check-ins, and the monthly visits to other doctors (osteoporosis, scoliosis, and thyroid monitoring.) I cannot afford to see them all this much … co pays are exceeding our limited pension income. My husband has just today filed for his social security, as my 30 year pension is not enough to cover all these medical costs.

      I told my psychologist that, following the fifth surgery, and the not yet faded scar of the first and largest wound on my back, I am feeling defeated at the prospect now of every three-month dermatology check-ins, and the ongoing six month neurology MS check-ins, and the monthly visits to other doctors (osteoporosis, scoliosis, and thyroid monitoring.) I cannot afford to see them all this much … co pays are exceeding our limited pension income. My husband has just today filed for his social security, as my 30 year pension is not enough to cover all these medical costs. So add worry about bills to all the rest.

      I just want to walk away from my extended family; siblings don't seem to understand that melanoma and surgeries on top of MS weakness and depression (and a very tight budget ) doesn't leave me in a 'let's get together at a restaurant' mood.   I'm so tired, and so down, and so hurt, and so confused. I feel damaged by the surgeries, and worn out by the summer.

      Does anyone else here have reddish/purple scars that are Z shaped and seven or eight inches long and two to three inches wide in shape? I have two like that, one on my back and one (a bit smaller) on my forearm (that one is very visible.) I didn't think the scars would bother me, but they do … I feel like I was attacked and marked by a gang. No one sees my back but my husband, but still it bothers me. Why is that?

      I have more for them to find – moles or age spots that are changing on my neck, and on my upper chest. One site has begun bleeding each time I wash it, but I see the dermatologist next month, and will wait 'til then.

      This post is disorganized, as I am. I just can't keep my thoughts straight. Best I can do.

    Viewing 8 reply threads
    • Replies
        deardad
        Participant

          I'm very sorry to hear how down you are, it sounds like you have very good reasons to feel that way with everything going on in your life. Melanoma is one thing, other illnesses as well as financial difficulty is only going to add to list of stresses.

          I don't know what to say to help. It's a shame your family are not more understanding. Have you really sat down and told them all this? Do you think that would help?

          Have you tried a good vitamin A cream on the scars? or pure aloevera from the plant, I've heard this can reduce the dark color in a scar.

          Try to stay together, one thing at a time. Thinking of you.

          Nahmi

          deardad
          Participant

            I'm very sorry to hear how down you are, it sounds like you have very good reasons to feel that way with everything going on in your life. Melanoma is one thing, other illnesses as well as financial difficulty is only going to add to list of stresses.

            I don't know what to say to help. It's a shame your family are not more understanding. Have you really sat down and told them all this? Do you think that would help?

            Have you tried a good vitamin A cream on the scars? or pure aloevera from the plant, I've heard this can reduce the dark color in a scar.

            Try to stay together, one thing at a time. Thinking of you.

            Nahmi

              chalknpens
              Participant

                Thank you, Nahmi. I think I expect too much of people. Everyone has their own issues. I'm just overwhelmed at the moment, but know that this will pass. I appreciate your response.

                chalknpens
                Participant

                  Thank you, Nahmi. I think I expect too much of people. Everyone has their own issues. I'm just overwhelmed at the moment, but know that this will pass. I appreciate your response.

                  chalknpens
                  Participant

                    Thank you, Nahmi. I think I expect too much of people. Everyone has their own issues. I'm just overwhelmed at the moment, but know that this will pass. I appreciate your response.

                  deardad
                  Participant

                    I'm very sorry to hear how down you are, it sounds like you have very good reasons to feel that way with everything going on in your life. Melanoma is one thing, other illnesses as well as financial difficulty is only going to add to list of stresses.

                    I don't know what to say to help. It's a shame your family are not more understanding. Have you really sat down and told them all this? Do you think that would help?

                    Have you tried a good vitamin A cream on the scars? or pure aloevera from the plant, I've heard this can reduce the dark color in a scar.

                    Try to stay together, one thing at a time. Thinking of you.

                    Nahmi

                    washoegal
                    Participant

                      I think we all have those scars.  I laugh and say you can play connect the dots on my stomach.  A 10 inch scar down my side near the waist and a 6 inch one under the arm.  An ugly silver dollar size scar from a basel cell I had removed on my shin, that I let a lazy derm talk me out of a skin graft,.  I could go on and on…  The point is I try not to.  I try to focus on the fact that I am alive a relatively healthy. 

                      It's difficult when you have a chronic condition like MS, I know.  I live with chronic back pain and it's not fun.  But I try not to let it run my life, though some times I have no choice. 

                      The spot that is bleeding you probably won't have to worry about, if it's that close to the surface that it's probable benign.  I just had something similar removed from my calf because every time it brushed up against a chair it would bleed.  Age spots are sun damage but they are usually nothing to worry about, you need to watch moles.

                      Good Luck,

                      Mary

                        chalknpens
                        Participant

                          Thanks, Mary, for the uplifing news about age spots and bleeding sites. It's small … more an annoyance than a 'pain.' I'll let him check it out next month.

                          chalknpens
                          Participant

                            Thanks, Mary, for the uplifing news about age spots and bleeding sites. It's small … more an annoyance than a 'pain.' I'll let him check it out next month.

                            chalknpens
                            Participant

                              Thanks, Mary, for the uplifing news about age spots and bleeding sites. It's small … more an annoyance than a 'pain.' I'll let him check it out next month.

                            washoegal
                            Participant

                              I think we all have those scars.  I laugh and say you can play connect the dots on my stomach.  A 10 inch scar down my side near the waist and a 6 inch one under the arm.  An ugly silver dollar size scar from a basel cell I had removed on my shin, that I let a lazy derm talk me out of a skin graft,.  I could go on and on…  The point is I try not to.  I try to focus on the fact that I am alive a relatively healthy. 

                              It's difficult when you have a chronic condition like MS, I know.  I live with chronic back pain and it's not fun.  But I try not to let it run my life, though some times I have no choice. 

                              The spot that is bleeding you probably won't have to worry about, if it's that close to the surface that it's probable benign.  I just had something similar removed from my calf because every time it brushed up against a chair it would bleed.  Age spots are sun damage but they are usually nothing to worry about, you need to watch moles.

                              Good Luck,

                              Mary

                              washoegal
                              Participant

                                I think we all have those scars.  I laugh and say you can play connect the dots on my stomach.  A 10 inch scar down my side near the waist and a 6 inch one under the arm.  An ugly silver dollar size scar from a basel cell I had removed on my shin, that I let a lazy derm talk me out of a skin graft,.  I could go on and on…  The point is I try not to.  I try to focus on the fact that I am alive a relatively healthy. 

                                It's difficult when you have a chronic condition like MS, I know.  I live with chronic back pain and it's not fun.  But I try not to let it run my life, though some times I have no choice. 

                                The spot that is bleeding you probably won't have to worry about, if it's that close to the surface that it's probable benign.  I just had something similar removed from my calf because every time it brushed up against a chair it would bleed.  Age spots are sun damage but they are usually nothing to worry about, you need to watch moles.

                                Good Luck,

                                Mary

                                Tina D
                                Participant

                                  It is certainly understandable that you feel overwhelmed at times. I think things can have a cumulative effect. I also have numerous scars ranging from the most recent six little ones from laparoscopic gall bladder surgery to a right mastectomy and numerous shapes and sizes to account for 11 surgeries. Most of the time they bother me very little, but every once in a while they just seem to be a reminder of the difficult journey things have been at times. My husband is always so sweet at those times to say that you have to give yourself permission to be human. Sometimes it all just feels like it weighs more than most times. Sometimes the thought of something small…like going to have an ingrown toenail dealt with… seems so much bigger than it really is. Sometimes we are just tired. That is ok. You have every reason to allow yourself some room to feel what you are feeling, you have dealt with a lot. I am sorry your family has a hard time understanding and I imagine they want the best for you, they just dont know what to do. It can be such a lonely place at times. I have found that taking one thing at a time… one day at a time… usually helps to lift that overwhelming feeling. I bring it all to the Lord, and trust Him to carry it. I am sorry you are so discouraged right now, and I pray that you will find the encouragement you need. Hang in there… it will not feel like this every day, but when it does…. it is ok to allow yourself some room to feel it. Wish I could help in a tangible way. Hang in there…one day at a time…one moment at a time.

                                  Tina

                                    chalknpens
                                    Participant

                                      Thank you, Tina. I am humbled that with all you've had to deal with, you took the time to respond to my post. I don't want to feel like I'm having a pity party, but in truth, I guess that's what I've been doing. It will get better in time. I do appreciate your comments here.

                                      chalknpens
                                      Participant

                                        Thank you, Tina. I am humbled that with all you've had to deal with, you took the time to respond to my post. I don't want to feel like I'm having a pity party, but in truth, I guess that's what I've been doing. It will get better in time. I do appreciate your comments here.

                                        chalknpens
                                        Participant

                                          Thank you, Tina. I am humbled that with all you've had to deal with, you took the time to respond to my post. I don't want to feel like I'm having a pity party, but in truth, I guess that's what I've been doing. It will get better in time. I do appreciate your comments here.

                                        Tina D
                                        Participant

                                          It is certainly understandable that you feel overwhelmed at times. I think things can have a cumulative effect. I also have numerous scars ranging from the most recent six little ones from laparoscopic gall bladder surgery to a right mastectomy and numerous shapes and sizes to account for 11 surgeries. Most of the time they bother me very little, but every once in a while they just seem to be a reminder of the difficult journey things have been at times. My husband is always so sweet at those times to say that you have to give yourself permission to be human. Sometimes it all just feels like it weighs more than most times. Sometimes the thought of something small…like going to have an ingrown toenail dealt with… seems so much bigger than it really is. Sometimes we are just tired. That is ok. You have every reason to allow yourself some room to feel what you are feeling, you have dealt with a lot. I am sorry your family has a hard time understanding and I imagine they want the best for you, they just dont know what to do. It can be such a lonely place at times. I have found that taking one thing at a time… one day at a time… usually helps to lift that overwhelming feeling. I bring it all to the Lord, and trust Him to carry it. I am sorry you are so discouraged right now, and I pray that you will find the encouragement you need. Hang in there… it will not feel like this every day, but when it does…. it is ok to allow yourself some room to feel it. Wish I could help in a tangible way. Hang in there…one day at a time…one moment at a time.

                                          Tina

                                          Tina D
                                          Participant

                                            It is certainly understandable that you feel overwhelmed at times. I think things can have a cumulative effect. I also have numerous scars ranging from the most recent six little ones from laparoscopic gall bladder surgery to a right mastectomy and numerous shapes and sizes to account for 11 surgeries. Most of the time they bother me very little, but every once in a while they just seem to be a reminder of the difficult journey things have been at times. My husband is always so sweet at those times to say that you have to give yourself permission to be human. Sometimes it all just feels like it weighs more than most times. Sometimes the thought of something small…like going to have an ingrown toenail dealt with… seems so much bigger than it really is. Sometimes we are just tired. That is ok. You have every reason to allow yourself some room to feel what you are feeling, you have dealt with a lot. I am sorry your family has a hard time understanding and I imagine they want the best for you, they just dont know what to do. It can be such a lonely place at times. I have found that taking one thing at a time… one day at a time… usually helps to lift that overwhelming feeling. I bring it all to the Lord, and trust Him to carry it. I am sorry you are so discouraged right now, and I pray that you will find the encouragement you need. Hang in there… it will not feel like this every day, but when it does…. it is ok to allow yourself some room to feel it. Wish I could help in a tangible way. Hang in there…one day at a time…one moment at a time.

                                            Tina

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