MRF-Logo2019-Horizontal-RGB
Inevitable diagnosis
REGISTER
The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content within the patient forum is user-generated and has not been reviewed by medical professionals. Other sections of the Melanoma Research Foundation website include information that has been reviewed by medical professionals as appropriate. All medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor or other qualified medical professional.

Inevitable diagnosis

› Forums › Cutaneous Melanoma Community › Inevitable diagnosis

  • Post
    • January 28, 2020 at 11:58 am
    snootyusher
    Participant
      I’m a 37 year old male. Red hair, fair skin…have been going for annual skin exams for the past few years. Unfortunately neither my dermatologist or my primary doctor never mentioned the concept/method of a monthly self-screening, which I think will be the cause of a very late-stage melanoma.

      Last Tuesday at my annual screening my dermatologist took a biopsy of a new discolored mole on the back of my neck, just slightly to the right. I would never be able to see myself without setting up mirrors or something like that. Again, I never even thought about setting up regular screenings. I was cognizant of whatever I could see myself, or in glancing in a mirror, but never thought I should setup a regular self-review to check out the back of my neck.

      I don’t have my biopsy results yet, but after reading a ton, I can recognize that at least a few of the lymph nodes on the right side of my neck (closer to the mole site) are definitely swollen and larger than the ones of my left. And of course any passing pain triggers fears of further spread – like a mild in my head that I”m just now feeling has me convinced it’s in my brain.

      I basically have been unable to sleep, eat, or do anything in the week since the biopsy. I am convinced I’m going to have a very late stage diagnosis and am completely terrified. My parents are still alive and my father is literally 1 month from retirement and I can’t believe how terribly this is going to wreck them. I haven’t said anything yet to anybody in my life, and I’m kind of spinning out of control. The one and only possible bright spot is that I am in NYC and my employer has a relationship with Memorial Sloan Kettering, so perhaps I can get into MSK fast and receive some sort of treatment that will actually work.

      I am just so terribly angry at my dermatologist for not bringing up self-screening as a between-visit practice. This disease is incredibly deadly, and I would’ve absolutely taken her advice to try and save my own life, and now it’s too late.

      Sorry for the ramble, but I’ve been reading this forum a lot the past few days and you seem like an incredible and supportive community.

    Viewing 5 reply threads
    • Replies
        • January 28, 2020 at 1:12 pm
        Born_in_USSR
        Participant
          Hi Snootyusher and warm welcome from Russia (by this I also mean excuse me for my English). Yes this forum is very helpful even acros the world.
          I have received my diagnosis of stage 1 when I was 40, now I 43 y.o. have 2 children. I experienced a huge shock that time (and I can’t say that now I absolutely calm) and remember how each day I constantly checked my lymph nodes by hand. Panic grew. My lymp nodes that were a bit larger than normal turn out to be benign, now I definitely now this. In your situation I think you need:
          1. Remember YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED CANCER DIAGNOSIS!
          2. You need to know that lymph nodes self exam can not prove cancer, they may be swallen by many reasons.
          3. Do not panic in any case there are many options for action even in worse scenario that I believe not your case. If you do not have melanoma history it is very unlikely that you may have advanced disease. I do not believe it is possible. You are quite young man and as I understand you are caring for your health (as you regularly go to the doctor). Everything will be ok.

          Do not pray for easy life pray to be a stronger man.

          • January 28, 2020 at 2:04 pm
          MelMel
          Participant
            While the wait is stressful, try to remember that it is nothing until it is actually diagnosed to be something and you do not have a diagnosis yet. Self-checks and even the best dermatologists only go so far. Melanoma can take many forms and is not always pigmented. It is usually not associated with pain. Lymph nodes can be swollen for many different reasons. Many melanoma patients have no known primaries. Although it is good to be informed and knowledgable, show patience and restraint until the facts become known. Above all else, remain positive and diligent.
            Melanie
            • January 28, 2020 at 2:50 pm
            alysoy
            Participant
              I’m currently awaiting my biopsy results as well, and I can’t get my head around any other fact other than I 100% have Melanoma (that’s the hypochondriac-me talking). It’s definitely not an easy wait, and googling never helps me when I feel anxious. What kind of biopsy did they perform on you? They did a shave biopsy on 2 moles for me, which apparently is only used if they don’t suspect a lesion to be mel.

              I’m in the same boat as you, stay strong! Even if it turns out anything sinister, it seems like treatments for all skin cancer have advanced GREATLY in the past 10 years alone. Skin cancer ( I believe Melanoma) was one of the biggest drops in mortality this past decade. Good luck on the results, reach out if you need someone to talk too during the wait

                • January 28, 2020 at 3:46 pm
                snootyusher
                Participant
                  I’m not really sure what the derm did – it’s on the back of my neck, so I couldn’t see anything, and she didn’t say anything. I did notice one of those flat razorblades on the table with the used instruments after it was over, so I would suspect a shave.

                  Where did you hear that a shave is only used when melanoma isn’t suspected? I read a lot of people’s stories and shaves seem to be used quite regularly.

                • January 28, 2020 at 9:49 pm
                Ellenb626
                Participant
                  It ‘s easy to say don’t worry till you know definitely. If it is melanoma don’t be afraid to go to MSK. I go there and they did the surgery. Their system of assigning you a surgeon may seem weird but they do iron a timely fashion. I think I called on a Friday and they set up the Dr appointment for the following Wednesday and surgery 2 weeks later. Good luck.
                  • January 28, 2020 at 9:49 pm
                  Ellenb626
                  Participant
                    It ‘s easy to say don’t worry till you know definitely. If it is melanoma don’t be afraid to go to MSK. I go there and they did the surgery. Their system of assigning you a surgeon may seem weird but they do iron a timely fashion. I think I called on a Friday and they set up the Dr appointment for the following Wednesday and surgery 2 weeks later. Good luck.
                      • January 29, 2020 at 1:25 am
                      snootyusher
                      Participant
                        You’re very right. I appreciate the desire for positivity, but after all the research and self-examination I’ve done I know I have it bad. I even researched medical sites to figure out exactly which lymph nodes are swollen and what drains into them – it’s definitely from the area where the biopsy was taken. It’s now over 1 full week from my biopsy and no call from my doctor. My stress is completely unmanageable and I’m unbearably stressed about how to talk to my parents about this. They had so much to look forward to in retirement and they deserve better than what I’m going to give them.
                        • January 29, 2020 at 2:33 am
                        Bubbles
                        Participant
                          Nodes enlarge for a wide variety of reasons and often swell proximal to the site of any injury, surgical incision or infection. Actually, the fact that you have not yet heard from your doctor is probably good news. With all of that, you can’t KNOW anything until you have the results.
                          • January 29, 2020 at 2:06 pm
                          alysoy
                          Participant
                            Don’t let the lymph nodes scare you. They could be enlarged for a variety reasons ranging from face acne, dandruff to stress. Swollen means your immune system is working properly so take that as a good thing right now! I do agree with the poster about the long wait potentially being good. But you don’t have any cancer diagnosis so try not to stress too much. Whatever it is, just know even some of the worst cases of skin cancer just 10 years ago is now treatable, so many powerful advancements have been made. Hoping for nothing but good news from the doctor!!
                          • January 29, 2020 at 12:37 am
                          miss_annabella_2508
                          Participant
                            Please try not to worry until you have the results. I know it is hard. I am in a similar situation I get biopsy’s done tomorrow (with past melanoma history) The anxiety waiting for results is the hardest part. You can only move forward once you know the outcome.
                        Viewing 5 reply threads

                        Tagged: 

                        • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                        About the MRF Patient Forum

                        The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

                        The information on the forum is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.

                        Popular Topics