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I feel like I am going to have a panic attack
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I feel like I am going to have a panic attack

› Forums › Cutaneous Melanoma Community › I feel like I am going to have a panic attack

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    • December 25, 2019 at 1:01 pm
    carrotland
    Participant
      I feel like I am going to have a panic attack, as I just realised one of my moles has changed dramatically.

      I have had 4 basal cell carcinomas, since I was 30.
      Fair skin, freckles, and grew up in Australia so lots of sun exposure as a child.
      I live in the UK, and was under yearly review with Dermatology, but they knocked me off after not having anything pop up in the last 2 years.
      Last time i went however, I complained about a mole in the middle of my back, which is lighter brown, with a raised bit in the middle, as sometimes I feel an itch on my back and when I go to itch it, fell that it is that spot which is the itch.
      She looked at it and said it was fine- that it can be normal for a mole to have a raised bit and its fine.
      Last night i was cleaning up the dinner table and felt like a pin prick irritation as my top moved over the mole, so I put my hand on my back and that raised bit feels much bigger all of a sudden!
      My husband took a photo and the whole thing looks redder, with a light pin area around it and the raised part certainly is bigger now and has a slightly abraised area, that was oozing clear liquid, like the skin had been broken.
      I have not been scratching it though.
      Straight away, panic has set in, as I know its not a BCC like before and there is no good reason for a mole to change.
      It is christmas and I am in Scotland (live in Wales) and don’t get back until the 2nd, then if i get a doctors appt, I will have to wait for that and then wait for a referal to dermatology which might take ages, and I am panicking incase it is something dodgy!
      It has certainly enlarged quickly , or I would have noticed it before.
      The UK doctors are not that great with picking up dodgy patches either…I went to the doctors with my first BCC, and got told off for wasting doctors time when “there are real sick people that need an appointment” so had to wait to go to australia for a holiday to get it looked at a a skin cancer clinic there,and the guy knew what it was just by looking even before the pathology came back.

      I assume this mole on my back is a dysplastic nevi with a fried egg centre…can these get a bit funny sometimes without being something really scary?
      I am trying to forget about it so the kids can have a good christmas, but inside feel on the verge of having a panic attack fearing the worst.
      If i am away from home, should I go to A&E if I can’t go to my local doctor, in the next few days?

      file:///Users/katrinastuart/Library/Containers/com.apple.mail/Data/Library/Mail%20Downloads/F22AB5BD-BA3E-4F12-A0F9-4F7AC9735D81/DS201954-01.png

      file:///Users/katrinastuart/Library/Containers/com.apple.mail/Data/Library/Mail%20Downloads/1C68A5DC-E587-4D54-9D3D-E5D57F66C89B/IMG_20191225_011831.jpg

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        • December 27, 2019 at 12:09 am
        doragsda
        Participant
          Your pics didn’t come through as the links referenced files on your local computer, rather than on an internet server.

          I would definitely get it checked, as the oozing characteristic may be ulceration. I have had squamous cell carcinomas which were slightly ulcerated, but my wife’s melanoma was ulcerated and ulceration is a significant risk enhancement for melanoma, so get it biopsied so you can know for sure.

            • December 27, 2019 at 7:19 pm
            carrotland
            Participant
              Thanks.
              How can i attach an image here?
              I took pics every day from the 24/12 to today and it has changed dramatically.
              The middle was like a small peppercorn the other day, now it has flattened out again to similar to what it usually is, but is still reddened.
              I emailed them through to my local doctors clinic as i am away in a remote area at the moment, and the doctor looked at them and sent it over to dermatology for them to look at.She said they would assess the pics in triage and determine how quickly they thought I needed to be seen.
              I put the pics up on Image shack- you can see how different it looked a few days ago.

              This is the first day i noticed it lie this 24/12
              http://imageshack.com/a/img924/5403/fHdqHN.jpg
              http://imageshack.com/a/img922/1254/HXwuxU.png

              25/12
              http://imageshack.com/a/img924/8214/RcpMUt.jpg

              26/12
              http://imageshack.com/a/img921/3163/uxKxME.jpg

              27/12
              http://imageshack.com/a/img924/5620/XsZsFa.jpg
              http://imageshack.com/a/img924/9135/kG55g7.jpg

              • December 27, 2019 at 11:19 pm
              MLD1973
              Participant
                Hi there,

                Can you put a ruler against your mole and take a picture, it will be easier to see if it grows in size. Try the miiskin app, it’s good.

                Rather than waiting for the nhs, book in private I know it’s costly but you will be seen quicker and if they are concerned they will remove it. I am based in the UK, and totally understand your view on the NHS, you need to find a specialist you can trust and if its Private so be it. I was diagnosed with MM and have seen many private dermatologist and will do for the rest of my life.

                Good luck and push to be seen.

                Mandy x

                I

                • December 28, 2019 at 1:05 am
                carrotland
                Participant
                  I don’t think the brown colouration has grown, but it used to be a flat mole and then developed the raised bit in the centre a few years ago, and that raised bit is the part that puffed right up the other night!
                  3 days later, it looks much more normal.
                  We’re up in a remote part of Scotland at the moment and the closest Mole mapping clinic is 5 hours away, with no appts until 3rd Jan, by which time we will be home again.
                  The soonest I can book into a mole mapping place nearer home, would be the 7th Jan.
                  Who else can you go and see?
                  In Australia they had designated Skin cancer clinics that knew their stuff, but I am not sure where to look here?
                  What is MM?
                  Is that Metastatic Melanoma?
                  I have realised looking at material that I actually have alot of atyical moles.
                  I just thought i had this one in the middle of my back, but have realised looking at pics that there are alot of non round/standard type blotches on my skin.
                  I just thought they were freckles because they aren’t brown, round moles, but lighter.
                  This one has always been a light brown, but not a sold mole- rather more of a mole stain, rather than a solid opaque spot if you know what i mean, so i think I would do well to go to a mole mapping place where they really pay attention, and do it annually, as i can’t see my own back and my husband is colourblind, so can’t see the redness so much.
                  • December 29, 2019 at 9:15 pm
                  MLD1973
                  Participant
                    Hi there,

                    I would book the 7th Jan and if you can get a sooner appt else where you can cancel it.

                    When I looked up private dermatologist, ie. Nuffield/Spire Or Winfield will have private dermatologist that you can get into see in about a week, it is costly it for piece of mind worth it.

                    Mole mapping is well worth doing too if you have many moles, I would make it a yearly think.

                    I was diagnosed with Stage 1a Melanoma, which has made me more in tune with my body and protect it so much more now.

                    i feel your anxiety, remember you are getting it seen too and hopefully it will be nothing to worry about.

                    Good luck.

                    • December 28, 2019 at 1:08 am
                    carrotland
                    Participant
                      That last link under the 27/12 headline shouldn’t be there!
                      That was on the first day, so disregard that one!
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