Frozen with fear and anxiety, does it ever get easier. Please help

You sound a lot like me. We have it really easy compared to many of the warriors on this forum…yet we still are taking it very hard mentally. I cant really explain it…I know the facts and that I have been lucky with catching it early…but I still stress & worry and over think. Sleepless nights. Depression. Unable to be present with friends & family. Distracted and as you said … frozen. I feel guilty and selfish and even ashamed that this has affected me so much even though it is so minor.

I will say that after two years , things have gotten more normal for me. I’m all worried out. Things wont be the the same but also things have changed for the better because I appreciate little things more now. And I appreciate the big things more too – time with my kids, wife etc..so yes, for me it has subsided.

It’s easier said than done but if you can, stop waiting and worrying and enjoy every day even more. Use this as a motivation to enjoy life more. Worry and wait and frozen is not productive. Take this from someone whose done that…

Best of luck to you..and all warriors fighting this disease at all levels…physically & mentally.

Hi Anonymous, A lot of people are going to tell you “Don’t be scared!” but it really is ok to be scared. This is all new to you and we all have a fear of the unknown. I was diagnosed at stage 4 2 weeks ago and had my first immunotherapy session with Opdivo/Yervey combo this past Wed. So far, 4 days later and no side effects. I try to look at life as an adventure. This has taken me too from my day to day routine. I am getting an education in melanoma treatment. I am able to explain to my family and friends what I am going through. I don’t know if this forum allows us to talk about religion and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone. But I believe my faith is what makes me “Okay with it”.
My advice is to put your focus on your family and friends. Help them get through this by setting an example , but always be honest . . . if you are in pain or scared, let them know.. You are also going to hear a lot of “You’re in my thoughts and prayers.” People don’t usually know what to say to comfort you at a time like this but know that they are sincere in their concern for you. I hope you have a good support group. If not, this forum is a good start.and as for me, I’d recommend a church. One last thing you are going to hear a lot, I wish you the very best. Mark

Hi Anon,
After my CLND and 2 week stay in the hospital for a post op infection I arrived home and did experience some anxiety. After a couple of weeks, I began to get out of the house and engage in physical activity. Walking at first (very nice area to walk near my home) and after awhile running. That really helped lower my anxiousness and combined with the healing gave me a more positive perspective. I did experience a touch of anxiety when I had my check ups (first every three months, then six, then annually) and usually right after my scans (“scanxiety” as many people here call it). For me it was the passage of time and staying active that really helped.
Good luck!

Hi Anon,
After my CLND and 2 week stay in the hospital for a post op infection I arrived home and did experience some anxiety. After a couple of weeks, I began to get out of the house and engage in physical activity. Walking at first (very nice area to walk near my home) and after awhile running. That really helped lower my anxiousness and combined with the healing gave me a more positive perspective. I did experience a touch of anxiety when I had my check ups (first every three months, then six, then annually) and usually right after my scans (“scanxiety” as many people here call it). For me it was the passage of time and staying active that really helped.
Good luck!

I was in your shoes a week before Christmas. Just turned 37 fit and healthy and married with 3 little ones under 6 then bam hit by the truck that was stage 2a melanoma. I had a few weeks of no sleep and little or no food. It was hell on earth wondering would this miserable Christmas be my last and would I live to see my children old enough to remember me. I just managed to pick myself up when I got the news it was present in the lymph node they had removed and once again I spiralled into a dark dark place. Since then I have been lucky enough to have a clear ct and pet scan and I am starting treatment tomorrow to reduce reoccurrence. Sometimes I think it has all been a blessing. I feel so so grateful every morning I dress and feed my children. I am far more patient with them and I really have a new appreciation for the simple things in life. It has brought my husband and I so much closer together. We have been through too much to fight over silly things anymore. I really know he has my back. Life is short and it is to be enjoyed. This is the lesson that I have learned. You will come to a stage that you will stop obsessing over it and it won’t occupy your thoughts quite as much. I am also finding exercise very helpful