First Post Background info and need advise

Hi everyone, first post here and need some help. October 2016 I was diagnosed with Stage 1A .68mm superficial spreading melanoma. Did not have a lymph node biopsied at the time as my derm said wasn't needed with the depth and 0 mitosis and no lympatic invasion present and no ulceration. It was removed near my belt line on my left side. A month later I still had some pain after the WLE and decided to go have an ultrasound. It came back with a 1.8cm lymph node showing up and that scared me so I went to see Dr Luke. He gave me a pet scan and ct scan and the lymph node didn't show up anymore and nothing else was seen of any concern. He said it was most likely due to the wle and thats why it puffed up and went away. I also did the decision dx test and it came back that I was in the top half of the best category of it not returning. 

Fast forward to two weeks ago and I had always been a little suspicious of a couple marks on my WLE scar so when I was at my check up I had my derm biopsy them. They came back as ruptured hair follicles but the biopsy area became inflamed and most likely infected. 3 days after the biopsy which is on the front middle of my groin I could feel pain in the back top of my leg and feel what I believe is an inflamed lymph node but the whole area was painful also. It became very sore basically overnight 3 days after the biopsy when everything was inflamed. The area above the lymph node was also bruised and even my leg muscle hurt and the skin above it was puffy. Now two weeks later I went back to the derm and he did a test to see if I have some type of infection from the biopsy as my body has never healed very well. He didn't seem very concerned about the lymph node as it it in the back of my leg and the melanoma was top/middle of my groin and said would have gone to crease between my leg and groin. He said he doesn't even know if there are lymph nodes in this area around the top upper part of my leg and even if it was he thinks it would be due to an infection or injury. I really trust him and he is about the best melanoma specialist derm I could find. 

My question is I have super anxiety over everything to do with disease since October and I found out about all this two weeks before my first son was born. So now I scheduled an appointment with an oncologist to have the lymph node or whatever it is removed and biopsied next Thursday. In the past week the lymph node no longer hurts but I don't belive it has gotten any bigger or smaller. I guess I would say its the size of a pea or so. I would have never even known it was there if it hadn't started hurting as its pretty deep. My question is do you think its needed to have the surgery to have this removed? My derm doesn't think so but since October I've been an anxiety filled wreck and this has pushed me over the top. I can't sleep or eat and I'm really missing out on time with my family. Am I doing the right thing? Thanks in advance.