Good for you for keeping it real and getting through WBR, Tyais!! I don’t know what to tell you other than you are not alone. I once told a friend that I’d like to think that all I’ve been through has not changed me. That I am still the same person I was before. She just looked at me for a minute and said, “Of course you’re changed. You don’t go through all the things you did and face all the crap you’ve had to face without being changed.” She was right of course. In this post in 2012 –
https://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-am-not-me-anymore.html – I wrote:
SUNDAY, JULY 29, 2012
I am not me anymore –
– or at least I am not the same me that I was.
Che Guevara
I am sure that this is true for every thinking and reflective person. Time passes, hopefully giving us wisdom, or at least perspective, as we look back on things. Melanoma (or any other life threatening, traumatic event) affects the individual, as well as family and friends. Watching children grow, thrive, suffer, die in the course of 28 years in pediatrics…changes a person. I have found support and love where I never expected it. I have experienced loss in ways I never dreamed. I have learned and traveled and loved more than I thought would ever be possible. I have had Christmas in July, more than once. And, it is good. – c
You will rediscover you. The you you were. The you you will become. Yes, melanoma and its horrific treatments bend us, change us, leave us feeling lost, without rudder or control in an ocean filled with fears and doubts. Still, I am here. So are you. Melanoma certainly has the power to take many things from us. But – not today. Hang in there. Yell and scream here. Seek help from counselors or dear ones if you have the need. Yours, celeste
.
