Family avoidance

I am sorry for what you and your son are dealing with…both melanoma and folks reaction to it.  Personally, I have lost those who I thought would be there for me the most, found amazing people who stepped up when they were under no "obligation" to do so, and solidified bonds I never would have imagined could become stronger!  So, for most it is a mixed bag.  I don't really have any solutions for you…but here's a link to many of my posts on the subject:  http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/searchq=cancer+friends  

Finally, as many of the things I write about suggest….many folks literally have no idea what to do or say to their cancer friend.  If you thought it would help…perhaps sending your peeps some of the words shared on these links (and I don't just mean mine…I have links included from The American Cancer Society, Cancer net, Sloan Kettering, etc) might help them….help you.

I wish you well.  Celeste

I am sorry that you and your son are in this situation.But when it comes to dealing with cancer,both patients,their caregivers and families have different coping skills and attitude towards cancer patients.It also can be the other way around when a cancer patient chooses to keep his own condition  private.I am a melanoma patient and I keep away family and friends with the exception of my husband who is my caregiver.Besides him I am only close and talking  about cancer with his brother,who is also cancer patient,not melanome but bone cancer.I also have a niece who is much younger with three kids that has breast cancer and underwent chemotherapy.Both me and my husband have no information about her current condition neither that of my brother-in-law..They both chose not to discuss their condition.Just accept it that everyone's coping skills with a cancer diagnosis, relatives or not are different . Let your immediate family members  come to you if they are ready to.It is easier said than done but this is the reality of it.Best wishes to you and your son,

I'm sorry you're feeling abandoned by your family and friends. During my first visit with the Oncologist, I remember him telling me don't be surprised if you lose friends/family during treatment and recovery, but you'll also gain new friends.  I didn't believe those words to be true.  My husband and best friend were both at that appointment. My best friend said, "that won't be me".  We'd been best friends since high school. I saw her once more after one of my surgeries and that was it.  My oncologist hit the nail on the head. Several of my family members and friends, who I was certain would not leave my side, disappeared. There were a few who didn't let my diagnosis make our relationship awkward and our relationship remained the same. I also formed stronger relationships with people I would least expect. In the end I realized everyone deals with things differently and sometimes people just don't know what to do or say in tough situations. Hang in there!