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Do You Believe In Monsters?

Forums General Melanoma Community Do You Believe In Monsters?

  • Post
    lovingwifedeb
    Participant

    August 14, 2010

     

    Do You Believe In Monsters?

     

    August 14, 2010

     

    Do You Believe In Monsters?

     

    I have personally known a few monsters at different times in my life, some who have loved the dark places in my youth. For example, in my bedroom at times they loved to lie in wait for me just to scare the pants off me. Sometimes from my closet or even more closely from under my bed was a favorite place for my monsters to hide, which made going to sleep almost impossible. The dark… the monsters… the unknown… the long shadows moving this way and that way just waiting to consume me. I will never forget that feeling of absolute terror.

     

    Bob and I visited the doctor’s office (Oncologist) on Wednesday listening to our options for treatment. I do say “our” because we are in this together, I have taken my vow of  “for better or worse” seriously as I look over at him with tears in my eyes. It’s the first time I could not hold them back and for that I am sorry, very sorry.

     

    We are in stage 3 (stage 4 involves an organ), but today Bob is cancer free.

     

    Today all tests indicate there is no sign of melanoma seen within/without his body (that any machinery to find). But we still can’t forget that the primary melanoma that caused the cancerous tumor in his leg in the first place is still at large and too small for any test to find.

     

    The monster is in the dark and waiting.

     

    Since all is quiet within Bob’s body, this melanoma can’t be treated by any chemotherapy, the doctor says. Option 1, Try Interferon which boosts up the immune systems, it takes 2 years and makes one very sick the whole time you are on it, and has only a 5% chance of working. Option 2, Join a trial study group that uses a vaccine for melanoma. 2 of 3 people get the vaccine, 1 person gets a placebo. Option 3? Do nothing.

     

    The monster is in the dark and waiting.

     

    I looked over at my husband realizing if love ever had a meaning for me it was today as it slammed against my chest beating wickedly, straining as my heart tried to catch up to the very foundation of what our lives going to be from this day forward. What if…

     

    The monster is in the dark and waiting.

     

    If you would like to follow our family blog page please go here:

    http://redesign08.blogspot.com/

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  • Replies
      joy_
      Participant

      I just wanted you to know that we are in a very similar situation.  My husband has recently moved to stage IIIc.  Like you, we are in this together.  My husband will be entering the vaccine trial that you mentioned if his qualifies for antigen they are looking for.  When he was first diagnosed he was given the option of interferon and entered a randomized clincial trial and was placed on the observation end receiving no interferon.

      I wish you both all the best.  Feel free to email me if you ever need someone to talk to who is going through the same thing.

      Tracy

       

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