The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content within the patient forum is user-generated and has not been reviewed by medical professionals. Other sections of the Melanoma Research Foundation website include information that has been reviewed by medical professionals as appropriate. All medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor or other qualified medical professional.

Boyfriend diagnosed with III C Melanoma

Forums Cutaneous Melanoma Community Boyfriend diagnosed with III C Melanoma

  • Post

      Hello everyone. I have been trying to avoid this community ever since my boyfriend has been diagnosed with Melanoma (three weeks ago) He discovered a mole on his back shoulder and after a lot of begging and shouting from me to get him to a hospital, he finally agreed. And then he got diagnosed with stage 3 C Melanoma. He got the surgery to remove it and some lymph nodes but there are still traces left in his lymph nodes. He's currently getting chemotherapy and so far it didn't spread. The doctors say he has a 35% chance. I couldn't stop crying. My aunt survived stage Three breast cancer and she told me to not think of him as a percentage. (Her doctor told her she is a person, not a percentage.) I think it took her five years to finally be cancer free. I'm not sure what else to say but I don't want to lose my boyfriend at all. All I keep thinking is "he's going to die." Te doctors are already asking him to write a will. Do you think he has a chance to survive this?

    Viewing 3 reply threads
    • Replies

          What drug is your boyfriend getting?  That alone makes a world of difference…as does seeing a melanoma specialist rather than a general oncologist.

          I was diagnosed with Stage III melanoma in 2003.  Despite advancing to Stage IV (which according to your report your boyfriend is not!!!!   So that's even better!!!) in 2010 with brain and lung mets, I am still here with a status of NED (no evidence of disease).  So…..hard as it is…dry the tears, live each day to the fullest and make sure your boyfirend is getting effective care….ie immunotherapy would most likely be beneficial….either ipi (yervoy), anti-PD-1 (nivo/Opdivo or pembro/Keytruda) or a combo of ipi/nivo.  For Stage III patients ipi is FDA approved.  For stage III patients with inoperable disease anti-PD1 drugs are approved and can sometimes be accessed in trials.

          I wish you and yours well.  celeste


            Firstly I am sorry that your boyfriend and yourself are experiencing melanoma. I implore you and your boyfriend to focus on the positives and the things that you can control. 

            A Stage 3c diagnosis is not a death sentence.  This site has lots of 3 and 4 that are living their lives.

            when you say chemo do you mean immunotherapy?  There have been some major breakthroughs with this in the last few years.

            is your oncologist a melanoma specialist? If not ask this board for assistance in identifying.

            Look staying positive is hard but it helps.  I had neck dissection surgery a week ago today  I was back to work on Tuesday and have been here all week. My docs are surprised how quickly I responded.  I have a family and a life outside this diesease that I intend to spend as much meaningful time with.

            I wish you and your boyfriend a speedy recovery. 






              I was diagnosed 3B a year and a half ago, then advanced to stage 3C, and thanks to immunotherapy the cancer isn't showing up anymore. There IS hope and there are great treatments out there. Like the others said, make sure he sees a melanoma specialist and make sure he is getting immunotherpy, NOT traditional chemotherapy drugs. I am not looking at dying anytime soon and was never told by any oncologist that I need to write a will or that I have a small chance of surviving, no good oncologist would say that, which is why it's so very important he gets the best care possible by a melanoma oncologist. We will help find one closest to you if you give us the area you live in. Sometimes travel is neccessary, but it's worth it when it comes to getting the best care to prolong one's life. 

              I know this is the hardest and scariest time. And loved ones like yourself have it the hardest. My boyfriend of 9 years still struggles with my diagnosis even though he knows I'm not dying and I won't be anytime soon. But, it's hard to be on the sidelines and not being able to activley kill the cancer yourself. 

              Hang in there, we are here for you, this is a great group of supportive and knowleageable people. 


                I know the news is devastating but you have to go into action. My husband was diagnosed 10/13/15 with Amelanotic melanoma, Stage 3C. He recieved one dose Yervoy & refused more; it has recurred/removed 11-12 times. He started Lymgic injections 2 weeks ago. Read the clinical trial results of meds; read others stories; become his patient advocate. It's hard not to fall into despair- but you can do this !

            Viewing 3 reply threads
            • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
            About the MRF Patient Forum

            The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

            The information on the forum is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.