› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Anyone hear from Jill/Eric?
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killmel.
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- June 8, 2011 at 3:46 pm
My computer is down at home, so cannot get into facebook….Just worrying about Eric & Jill.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
My computer is down at home, so cannot get into facebook….Just worrying about Eric & Jill.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 3:50 pm
This is what Jill posted today:
Had to call Eric's Oncologist this morning. He is losing the feeling in both legs and feet. They have ordered a STAT Lumbar MRI.Keep them in prayer at this time please.Lord, in Your mercy. Amen.Grace and peace,Carol-
- June 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Carol,
Thank you for answering my post…I usually check on them once a day, and my computer went out on Saturday, and I have been thinking and worrying so much. I usually post to Jill each day, and have not been able to…I will be lifting them up in prayer.
Carol, Please also keep me in your prayers and I still struggle daily with the the loss of Jim…It's been 6 months, but it still hurts so much, but we were together such a long time..Just 4 days short of 43 years. So, still trying to figure how who I am without him…
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Tell you what Sherron, I'll post to Jill for you and let her know what's going on with you and your computer. She'll understand.
And of course I'll keep lifting you up. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is when your spouse dies. I can't tell you exactly who you are, and I understand your identity did change to a large degree, but I have a feeling you're still "Sherron" at heart, that you're the woman Jim fell in love with and stayed in love with all those years, that she's still there and you'll rediscover her as time passes. Six months isn't a long time at all. And if, by chance, you've got people pressuring you to "deal with it" or "get over it already" then maybe you've got some folks you need to distance yourself from for a while…even if they're family. They don't understand grief. That said, getting involved in something you're passionate about will probably be helpful. Don't let grief become your comfort zone.
My grandparents were married just a few months shy of 55 years when my Grandma died as a result of injuries received in a car crash…my Granddaddy was driving, so that was really hard on him. My Grandma was a "talker." Granddaddy was the strong, silent type and I can still remember him saying through their years together that he hoped she went first and that he could have just six months peace and quiet. You'd have to know them, that was honestly a joke, and Grandma knew what he was saying. He loved her dearly, it was his way of saying she had talked enough for the moment and he needed rest from her tongue.
He lived six years after her death instead of the joked six months. He missed her talking every day of his life. And I really don't know why I share that but for some odd reason it seems pertinent.
You're not who you were, but you're not who you will be. You're getting there. Life's a progression, always changing.
Lord, in Your compassionate mercy, You grieve with Sherron even while You gaze at Jim there with You. Two different places, You're there in both, and You can handle Sherron's grief even as You handle Jim's joy and peace. Help her through this season of mourning. There is a time to grieve and this is her time. May she feel Your peace and presence now and on into the future and God introduce her to herself, for You know exactly who she is. She is Yours. Thank You God. Amen and Amen!
Grace and peace to you Friend,
Carol
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- June 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Tell you what Sherron, I'll post to Jill for you and let her know what's going on with you and your computer. She'll understand.
And of course I'll keep lifting you up. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is when your spouse dies. I can't tell you exactly who you are, and I understand your identity did change to a large degree, but I have a feeling you're still "Sherron" at heart, that you're the woman Jim fell in love with and stayed in love with all those years, that she's still there and you'll rediscover her as time passes. Six months isn't a long time at all. And if, by chance, you've got people pressuring you to "deal with it" or "get over it already" then maybe you've got some folks you need to distance yourself from for a while…even if they're family. They don't understand grief. That said, getting involved in something you're passionate about will probably be helpful. Don't let grief become your comfort zone.
My grandparents were married just a few months shy of 55 years when my Grandma died as a result of injuries received in a car crash…my Granddaddy was driving, so that was really hard on him. My Grandma was a "talker." Granddaddy was the strong, silent type and I can still remember him saying through their years together that he hoped she went first and that he could have just six months peace and quiet. You'd have to know them, that was honestly a joke, and Grandma knew what he was saying. He loved her dearly, it was his way of saying she had talked enough for the moment and he needed rest from her tongue.
He lived six years after her death instead of the joked six months. He missed her talking every day of his life. And I really don't know why I share that but for some odd reason it seems pertinent.
You're not who you were, but you're not who you will be. You're getting there. Life's a progression, always changing.
Lord, in Your compassionate mercy, You grieve with Sherron even while You gaze at Jim there with You. Two different places, You're there in both, and You can handle Sherron's grief even as You handle Jim's joy and peace. Help her through this season of mourning. There is a time to grieve and this is her time. May she feel Your peace and presence now and on into the future and God introduce her to herself, for You know exactly who she is. She is Yours. Thank You God. Amen and Amen!
Grace and peace to you Friend,
Carol
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- June 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Carol,
Thank you so much for your prayers! I really NEED THEM…Just knowing someone cares.
I do fairly well during the week. I am still working full-time, although I will be 65 next week. I plan to work for 5 more years, the Lord willing. The weekends are often very difficult for me. Some weekends are better than others….Sometimes I have grief bursts, even here at work. it will just hit me, that Jim is gone. I have a deep faith in God….I think by holding to His hand and I know he walking this journey with me is helping…..but somtimes the lonilenes and quiet at home gets to you. Jim was a wonderful husband, we had many, many good years, you are just never ready to let go, but he was in so much pain at the end…I am glad his pain is gone and he is at Home.
I love the Melanoma Prayer Center. You are doing such a wonderful and needed work.
God Bless you! You are a jewel!
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
P.S. Thanks for letting Jill know my computer is out, but still send hugs, prayers, and love to them. I appreciate that very much.
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- June 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Carol,
Thank you so much for your prayers! I really NEED THEM…Just knowing someone cares.
I do fairly well during the week. I am still working full-time, although I will be 65 next week. I plan to work for 5 more years, the Lord willing. The weekends are often very difficult for me. Some weekends are better than others….Sometimes I have grief bursts, even here at work. it will just hit me, that Jim is gone. I have a deep faith in God….I think by holding to His hand and I know he walking this journey with me is helping…..but somtimes the lonilenes and quiet at home gets to you. Jim was a wonderful husband, we had many, many good years, you are just never ready to let go, but he was in so much pain at the end…I am glad his pain is gone and he is at Home.
I love the Melanoma Prayer Center. You are doing such a wonderful and needed work.
God Bless you! You are a jewel!
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
P.S. Thanks for letting Jill know my computer is out, but still send hugs, prayers, and love to them. I appreciate that very much.
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- June 8, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Hey Lori,
I will e-mail you from my home computer when I get it back….taking it in today….It's become part of my social life, Face Book, and e-mailing people…so I really need it.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time with Will's death, also…It is so painful sometimes, and somethimes others do not totally understand nor do they want to hear it all over again, and yet we have the need to tell the story over and over again. I have been to 3 private sessions, and a group grief counseling, and a grief seminar. I have received some good information for each source….I am also reading several different books, that are helping….But in the reality, the pain, the hurt, the devasation, the numbness,shock, is still there ….it's like I go forward, then 2 steps back, like a rollercoater ride…up and down.
Take Care Lori,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Hey Lori,
I will e-mail you from my home computer when I get it back….taking it in today….It's become part of my social life, Face Book, and e-mailing people…so I really need it.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time with Will's death, also…It is so painful sometimes, and somethimes others do not totally understand nor do they want to hear it all over again, and yet we have the need to tell the story over and over again. I have been to 3 private sessions, and a group grief counseling, and a grief seminar. I have received some good information for each source….I am also reading several different books, that are helping….But in the reality, the pain, the hurt, the devasation, the numbness,shock, is still there ….it's like I go forward, then 2 steps back, like a rollercoater ride…up and down.
Take Care Lori,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Sherron,
I lost Kris about 2 months ago and I know what you are feeling. We were together almost 32 years and the void I feel is terrible. She is in my mind each night before sleep and the first thing I think about each morning. During the day I often think 'Wait until I tell Kris' when something happens, but then I realize she is not at home waiting to hear.. We always looked out for each other and took care of each other during our marriage. I still can hardly believe she is not there. I have 2 sons and a church family, but they are not her.
Mike
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- June 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Mike,
I know the pain is awful, and sometimes I still don't believe it at 6 months. I have only made it day by day…Getting up, getting ready, driving to work(sometimes not remembering even driving here), working, going home to an empty home. It is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I have lost my Dad, and my sister, but this by far is the most life changing event in my life. I struggle each day without him, trying to figure out who I am without him…He was the love of my life, my best friend, and my soul-mate.
I understand, I also, have 2 children, 4 grandchildren, and a church family, but like you said they are not him….I do journal some, have even found myself e-mailing him, telling him about my day, how I feel….It's like journaling, but it's all in his e-mail inbox…and I can do it at work, if something just hits me and I feel the need to tell him….maybe silly, but I like it. It feels more spur of the moment, than a journaling book….because I am at the computer most of the day., it's easy to take a minute out ….and it give me some relief, but often makes me cry also. The void is awful…I have a huge hole in my heart, and the rest of it is cracked, and may crumble at anytime.
This is a hard journey. I have a deep faith in God. I am holding His Unchanging Hand very tightly and He is walking this journey with me. God bless you Mike, as you walk this journey also. It's so hard…I truly know how you feel.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Mike,
I know the pain is awful, and sometimes I still don't believe it at 6 months. I have only made it day by day…Getting up, getting ready, driving to work(sometimes not remembering even driving here), working, going home to an empty home. It is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I have lost my Dad, and my sister, but this by far is the most life changing event in my life. I struggle each day without him, trying to figure out who I am without him…He was the love of my life, my best friend, and my soul-mate.
I understand, I also, have 2 children, 4 grandchildren, and a church family, but like you said they are not him….I do journal some, have even found myself e-mailing him, telling him about my day, how I feel….It's like journaling, but it's all in his e-mail inbox…and I can do it at work, if something just hits me and I feel the need to tell him….maybe silly, but I like it. It feels more spur of the moment, than a journaling book….because I am at the computer most of the day., it's easy to take a minute out ….and it give me some relief, but often makes me cry also. The void is awful…I have a huge hole in my heart, and the rest of it is cracked, and may crumble at anytime.
This is a hard journey. I have a deep faith in God. I am holding His Unchanging Hand very tightly and He is walking this journey with me. God bless you Mike, as you walk this journey also. It's so hard…I truly know how you feel.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Sherron,
I lost Kris about 2 months ago and I know what you are feeling. We were together almost 32 years and the void I feel is terrible. She is in my mind each night before sleep and the first thing I think about each morning. During the day I often think 'Wait until I tell Kris' when something happens, but then I realize she is not at home waiting to hear.. We always looked out for each other and took care of each other during our marriage. I still can hardly believe she is not there. I have 2 sons and a church family, but they are not her.
Mike
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- June 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Carol,
Thank you for answering my post…I usually check on them once a day, and my computer went out on Saturday, and I have been thinking and worrying so much. I usually post to Jill each day, and have not been able to…I will be lifting them up in prayer.
Carol, Please also keep me in your prayers and I still struggle daily with the the loss of Jim…It's been 6 months, but it still hurts so much, but we were together such a long time..Just 4 days short of 43 years. So, still trying to figure how who I am without him…
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- June 8, 2011 at 3:50 pm
This is what Jill posted today:
Had to call Eric's Oncologist this morning. He is losing the feeling in both legs and feet. They have ordered a STAT Lumbar MRI.Keep them in prayer at this time please.Lord, in Your mercy. Amen.Grace and peace,Carol -
- June 9, 2011 at 3:20 am
Praying for Jill and Eric. Hope they have some really good, special moments together.
Sherron, I am sorry you are struggling. I can only offer a listening ear, and prayers for your comfort. It is so hard to be lonely and miss someone every moment of your day. You are lucky to have had such a long marriage. But it was not long enough! Your Jim wouldn't want you to be sad and lonely. You must be pretty special for him to have loved you for so many years. Enjoy your days and remember him with a smile.
I remember hearing Bob Hopes son say at his dads funeral "you go ahead Dad, we'll meet up with you later". (this may not be an EXACT quote). At a very low time in my life, somehow those simple words made it seem like those that go ahead aren't so far away.
Sending you a cyber hug and prayers. Beth 3/B
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- June 9, 2011 at 3:20 am
Praying for Jill and Eric. Hope they have some really good, special moments together.
Sherron, I am sorry you are struggling. I can only offer a listening ear, and prayers for your comfort. It is so hard to be lonely and miss someone every moment of your day. You are lucky to have had such a long marriage. But it was not long enough! Your Jim wouldn't want you to be sad and lonely. You must be pretty special for him to have loved you for so many years. Enjoy your days and remember him with a smile.
I remember hearing Bob Hopes son say at his dads funeral "you go ahead Dad, we'll meet up with you later". (this may not be an EXACT quote). At a very low time in my life, somehow those simple words made it seem like those that go ahead aren't so far away.
Sending you a cyber hug and prayers. Beth 3/B
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- June 10, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Anyone know the results of Eric's MRI? My Prayers go out to these courageous 2 people.
Jan
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