How long do you wait?
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How long do you wait?

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › How long do you wait?

  • Post
    • December 9, 2014 at 1:57 pm
    5dives
    Participant

    Hello all, 

    Let's go ahead and agree that anxiety comes along with melanoma, okay? 

    I'm a (barely) 3b who is on a staggered 3mo rotation with oncologist and derm. I'll basically be seeing somebody every six weeks for the forseeable future. 

    Still, some things worry me. I don't like to "bother" my docs, but I find it difficult to navigate things that *might* be indicators of a greater problem / recurrence. For instance, a questionable spot or a new pain. 

    Is 6 weeks too long to sit on a new problem? Thoughts? 

    Thank you, 

    Elaine

Viewing 17 reply threads
  • Replies
      • December 9, 2014 at 2:08 pm
      _Paul_
      Participant

      Hi Elaine,

      I think there will be a lot of different opinions on this. Mine is that my doctors work for me, so I am not shy about contacting them as things change. I think you get a feel for it over time. I also see my derm every three months and a couple of times I have found changes that he wanted to biospy, and other times he found them. Whenever I notice a mole that is changing I make an appt. to go in (although I will admit I have not been as diligent as I was now that I am stage IV).

      Hopefully you won't have any further issues and everything will be benign, but I also think caution is good.

      • December 9, 2014 at 2:08 pm
      _Paul_
      Participant

      Hi Elaine,

      I think there will be a lot of different opinions on this. Mine is that my doctors work for me, so I am not shy about contacting them as things change. I think you get a feel for it over time. I also see my derm every three months and a couple of times I have found changes that he wanted to biospy, and other times he found them. Whenever I notice a mole that is changing I make an appt. to go in (although I will admit I have not been as diligent as I was now that I am stage IV).

      Hopefully you won't have any further issues and everything will be benign, but I also think caution is good.

      • December 9, 2014 at 2:08 pm
      _Paul_
      Participant

      Hi Elaine,

      I think there will be a lot of different opinions on this. Mine is that my doctors work for me, so I am not shy about contacting them as things change. I think you get a feel for it over time. I also see my derm every three months and a couple of times I have found changes that he wanted to biospy, and other times he found them. Whenever I notice a mole that is changing I make an appt. to go in (although I will admit I have not been as diligent as I was now that I am stage IV).

      Hopefully you won't have any further issues and everything will be benign, but I also think caution is good.

      • December 9, 2014 at 2:53 pm
      Janner
      Participant

      I can't really respond on the "pain" issue except for spouting the reminder to "look for the most likely explanation first" and that may not be melanoma.  As for the "spots", my melanoma derm actually suggests waiting 6 weeks before calling him.  That way, you give something a chance to heal.   I, personally, only biopsy things that are changing and I've definitely waited longer than 6 weeks to see a derm.  But if something REALLY bothers me, I will call my derm.  I've had 3 primaries and am high risk for more (genetic defect) and I'm only seen every 6 months.  But I've found my 3 primaries and plan to do the same if I have anymore.  I never expect my derm to find anything that I haven't already noticed, documented and checked against existing baseline photos.  Remember, only about 10% of the melanoma population will every have more than 1 primary so that isn't your biggest worry.

      • December 9, 2014 at 2:53 pm
      Janner
      Participant

      I can't really respond on the "pain" issue except for spouting the reminder to "look for the most likely explanation first" and that may not be melanoma.  As for the "spots", my melanoma derm actually suggests waiting 6 weeks before calling him.  That way, you give something a chance to heal.   I, personally, only biopsy things that are changing and I've definitely waited longer than 6 weeks to see a derm.  But if something REALLY bothers me, I will call my derm.  I've had 3 primaries and am high risk for more (genetic defect) and I'm only seen every 6 months.  But I've found my 3 primaries and plan to do the same if I have anymore.  I never expect my derm to find anything that I haven't already noticed, documented and checked against existing baseline photos.  Remember, only about 10% of the melanoma population will every have more than 1 primary so that isn't your biggest worry.

      • December 9, 2014 at 2:53 pm
      Janner
      Participant

      I can't really respond on the "pain" issue except for spouting the reminder to "look for the most likely explanation first" and that may not be melanoma.  As for the "spots", my melanoma derm actually suggests waiting 6 weeks before calling him.  That way, you give something a chance to heal.   I, personally, only biopsy things that are changing and I've definitely waited longer than 6 weeks to see a derm.  But if something REALLY bothers me, I will call my derm.  I've had 3 primaries and am high risk for more (genetic defect) and I'm only seen every 6 months.  But I've found my 3 primaries and plan to do the same if I have anymore.  I never expect my derm to find anything that I haven't already noticed, documented and checked against existing baseline photos.  Remember, only about 10% of the melanoma population will every have more than 1 primary so that isn't your biggest worry.

      • December 9, 2014 at 8:35 pm
      Emcjones1
      Participant

      Hello Elaine

      You and I are in about the same place in regards to diagnosis and time since diagnosis, although you've been at it a bit longer. Here's my approach for the first time in my life I am paying very serious attention to learning ways to manage those parts of my personality that feed stress, because stress dampens your immune system and we need our immune systems. If it makes you feel better to see a physician to check a spot or assess a pain then by all means do so. Personally the less time I spend as a patient the happier I am, and I have a great medical team, so for me fewer visits is less stress, but that might change. 

      wishing you stress free holiday season

      Genie

      • December 9, 2014 at 8:35 pm
      Emcjones1
      Participant

      Hello Elaine

      You and I are in about the same place in regards to diagnosis and time since diagnosis, although you've been at it a bit longer. Here's my approach for the first time in my life I am paying very serious attention to learning ways to manage those parts of my personality that feed stress, because stress dampens your immune system and we need our immune systems. If it makes you feel better to see a physician to check a spot or assess a pain then by all means do so. Personally the less time I spend as a patient the happier I am, and I have a great medical team, so for me fewer visits is less stress, but that might change. 

      wishing you stress free holiday season

      Genie

      • December 9, 2014 at 8:35 pm
      Emcjones1
      Participant

      Hello Elaine

      You and I are in about the same place in regards to diagnosis and time since diagnosis, although you've been at it a bit longer. Here's my approach for the first time in my life I am paying very serious attention to learning ways to manage those parts of my personality that feed stress, because stress dampens your immune system and we need our immune systems. If it makes you feel better to see a physician to check a spot or assess a pain then by all means do so. Personally the less time I spend as a patient the happier I am, and I have a great medical team, so for me fewer visits is less stress, but that might change. 

      wishing you stress free holiday season

      Genie

      • December 11, 2014 at 2:00 am
      Happy_girl
      Participant

      It's soooo hard, Elaine.  I'm working in the same thing to not panic all the time.  My poor husband is tired of feeling my lymph nodes and every other bump.  I'm just getting over a cough-but of course my first thought was melanoma in my lungs.  Realistic? No. Real fear- absolutely.  We can do this! 

      • December 11, 2014 at 2:00 am
      Happy_girl
      Participant

      It's soooo hard, Elaine.  I'm working in the same thing to not panic all the time.  My poor husband is tired of feeling my lymph nodes and every other bump.  I'm just getting over a cough-but of course my first thought was melanoma in my lungs.  Realistic? No. Real fear- absolutely.  We can do this! 

      • December 11, 2014 at 2:00 am
      Happy_girl
      Participant

      It's soooo hard, Elaine.  I'm working in the same thing to not panic all the time.  My poor husband is tired of feeling my lymph nodes and every other bump.  I'm just getting over a cough-but of course my first thought was melanoma in my lungs.  Realistic? No. Real fear- absolutely.  We can do this! 

      • December 11, 2014 at 8:19 pm
      5dives
      Participant

      I think you guys understand how I feel! If my lymph nodes in my jaw are swollen, I'm positive it's melanoma…not a cold I'm fighting off. If my leg is achy, I'm positive it's melanoma…not lymphedema. It's crazy how wild my imagination has gotten! But by the same token, I really don't like to be a bother, so I don't call the doctor. I worry that I'll NEED to call the doctor, but I'll be talking myself off a ledge. That's kind of what happened with my original melanoma. I should have hurried, but I was trying not to overreact. 

      Gah! I wonder if I'll ever find balance.

      Thanks for your input everybody. 

      Best, 

      Elaine

      • December 11, 2014 at 8:19 pm
      5dives
      Participant

      I think you guys understand how I feel! If my lymph nodes in my jaw are swollen, I'm positive it's melanoma…not a cold I'm fighting off. If my leg is achy, I'm positive it's melanoma…not lymphedema. It's crazy how wild my imagination has gotten! But by the same token, I really don't like to be a bother, so I don't call the doctor. I worry that I'll NEED to call the doctor, but I'll be talking myself off a ledge. That's kind of what happened with my original melanoma. I should have hurried, but I was trying not to overreact. 

      Gah! I wonder if I'll ever find balance.

      Thanks for your input everybody. 

      Best, 

      Elaine

      • December 11, 2014 at 8:19 pm
      5dives
      Participant

      I think you guys understand how I feel! If my lymph nodes in my jaw are swollen, I'm positive it's melanoma…not a cold I'm fighting off. If my leg is achy, I'm positive it's melanoma…not lymphedema. It's crazy how wild my imagination has gotten! But by the same token, I really don't like to be a bother, so I don't call the doctor. I worry that I'll NEED to call the doctor, but I'll be talking myself off a ledge. That's kind of what happened with my original melanoma. I should have hurried, but I was trying not to overreact. 

      Gah! I wonder if I'll ever find balance.

      Thanks for your input everybody. 

      Best, 

      Elaine

        • December 11, 2014 at 9:04 pm
        Janner
        Participant

        I think the real key is looking for the most likely explanations first.  Swollen lymph nodes in jaw and a cold?  The cold is the culprit.  Achy leg?  Did you do something unusual?  If there IS a possible benign reason, you need to give that time to heal/resolve.  If it doesn't in a reasonable amount of time (I always think 2 weeks is reasonable for most things to heal or at least be almost healed – except lymph nodes can take a month or more to go back to normal) – then THAT is when it is time to go to the next level.  You need to also think along the lines that "would I worry about this if I didn't have melanoma"?  If my answer to that is no, then again, I let things go for a reasonable amount of time and if it doesn't resolve, THEN I consider talking to my doc.  I think most docs aren't "bothered" if you have a legitimate concern, and if you've given it a reasonable chance to heal (which is what most would suggest if you call immediately) – then it isn't a bother but a genuine concern.

        • December 11, 2014 at 9:04 pm
        Janner
        Participant

        I think the real key is looking for the most likely explanations first.  Swollen lymph nodes in jaw and a cold?  The cold is the culprit.  Achy leg?  Did you do something unusual?  If there IS a possible benign reason, you need to give that time to heal/resolve.  If it doesn't in a reasonable amount of time (I always think 2 weeks is reasonable for most things to heal or at least be almost healed – except lymph nodes can take a month or more to go back to normal) – then THAT is when it is time to go to the next level.  You need to also think along the lines that "would I worry about this if I didn't have melanoma"?  If my answer to that is no, then again, I let things go for a reasonable amount of time and if it doesn't resolve, THEN I consider talking to my doc.  I think most docs aren't "bothered" if you have a legitimate concern, and if you've given it a reasonable chance to heal (which is what most would suggest if you call immediately) – then it isn't a bother but a genuine concern.

        • December 11, 2014 at 9:04 pm
        Janner
        Participant

        I think the real key is looking for the most likely explanations first.  Swollen lymph nodes in jaw and a cold?  The cold is the culprit.  Achy leg?  Did you do something unusual?  If there IS a possible benign reason, you need to give that time to heal/resolve.  If it doesn't in a reasonable amount of time (I always think 2 weeks is reasonable for most things to heal or at least be almost healed – except lymph nodes can take a month or more to go back to normal) – then THAT is when it is time to go to the next level.  You need to also think along the lines that "would I worry about this if I didn't have melanoma"?  If my answer to that is no, then again, I let things go for a reasonable amount of time and if it doesn't resolve, THEN I consider talking to my doc.  I think most docs aren't "bothered" if you have a legitimate concern, and if you've given it a reasonable chance to heal (which is what most would suggest if you call immediately) – then it isn't a bother but a genuine concern.

        • December 12, 2014 at 1:58 pm
        _Paul_
        Participant

        That is great advice Janner. I have various tumors in my abdomen, but have only been experiencing mild symptoms from them to date. I normally exercise every morning and I know from eperience that without doing it I end up with a sore back over time. I stopped exercising a few weeks ago from lack of energy and fatigue becauses of inflammation of my pituitary. A couple of days ago I was experiencing some pain in my back and of course my first thought was it has to be a tumor! But this was good motivation to exercise the next morning and low and behold the pain is gone.

        • December 12, 2014 at 1:58 pm
        _Paul_
        Participant

        That is great advice Janner. I have various tumors in my abdomen, but have only been experiencing mild symptoms from them to date. I normally exercise every morning and I know from eperience that without doing it I end up with a sore back over time. I stopped exercising a few weeks ago from lack of energy and fatigue becauses of inflammation of my pituitary. A couple of days ago I was experiencing some pain in my back and of course my first thought was it has to be a tumor! But this was good motivation to exercise the next morning and low and behold the pain is gone.

        • December 12, 2014 at 1:58 pm
        _Paul_
        Participant

        That is great advice Janner. I have various tumors in my abdomen, but have only been experiencing mild symptoms from them to date. I normally exercise every morning and I know from eperience that without doing it I end up with a sore back over time. I stopped exercising a few weeks ago from lack of energy and fatigue becauses of inflammation of my pituitary. A couple of days ago I was experiencing some pain in my back and of course my first thought was it has to be a tumor! But this was good motivation to exercise the next morning and low and behold the pain is gone.

      • December 12, 2014 at 3:53 pm
      jualonso
      Participant

      Hi Elaine,

      All what you have are normal human reactions, try to take it easy and not to get paranoid. The first victory of melanoma is to become the center of the life of a patient. Dont let it do it. Also dont feel guilty about your primary, this is the first battle a MM patient has to face. Most of us thought about that wierd mole, and were worried, but not too much. As with many other things in our lives, we supoused that would be nothing. Unfortunately this time we were right and something was wrong and now we have the feeling that we knew it. But we are wrong again. We just thought it, like many times we did and nothing happened. 

      Focus on living and possitive attitude and play the hand yo have,  good luck during your journey.

      Jualonso

        • December 14, 2014 at 12:07 am
        5dives
        Participant

        Thanks for that excellent point, Jualonso! I don't like the idea of giving melanoma any victories, so I do need to remember not to let it be the center of my life! 

        Also to Janner for "would I worry about this if I didn't have melanoma?" Thanks.

        I appreciate those helpful ideas, guys. 🙂

        Best, 

        Elaine

         

         

         

         

        • December 14, 2014 at 12:07 am
        5dives
        Participant

        Thanks for that excellent point, Jualonso! I don't like the idea of giving melanoma any victories, so I do need to remember not to let it be the center of my life! 

        Also to Janner for "would I worry about this if I didn't have melanoma?" Thanks.

        I appreciate those helpful ideas, guys. 🙂

        Best, 

        Elaine

         

         

         

         

        • December 14, 2014 at 12:07 am
        5dives
        Participant

        Thanks for that excellent point, Jualonso! I don't like the idea of giving melanoma any victories, so I do need to remember not to let it be the center of my life! 

        Also to Janner for "would I worry about this if I didn't have melanoma?" Thanks.

        I appreciate those helpful ideas, guys. 🙂

        Best, 

        Elaine

         

         

         

         

      • December 12, 2014 at 3:53 pm
      jualonso
      Participant

      Hi Elaine,

      All what you have are normal human reactions, try to take it easy and not to get paranoid. The first victory of melanoma is to become the center of the life of a patient. Dont let it do it. Also dont feel guilty about your primary, this is the first battle a MM patient has to face. Most of us thought about that wierd mole, and were worried, but not too much. As with many other things in our lives, we supoused that would be nothing. Unfortunately this time we were right and something was wrong and now we have the feeling that we knew it. But we are wrong again. We just thought it, like many times we did and nothing happened. 

      Focus on living and possitive attitude and play the hand yo have,  good luck during your journey.

      Jualonso

      • December 12, 2014 at 3:53 pm
      jualonso
      Participant

      Hi Elaine,

      All what you have are normal human reactions, try to take it easy and not to get paranoid. The first victory of melanoma is to become the center of the life of a patient. Dont let it do it. Also dont feel guilty about your primary, this is the first battle a MM patient has to face. Most of us thought about that wierd mole, and were worried, but not too much. As with many other things in our lives, we supoused that would be nothing. Unfortunately this time we were right and something was wrong and now we have the feeling that we knew it. But we are wrong again. We just thought it, like many times we did and nothing happened. 

      Focus on living and possitive attitude and play the hand yo have,  good luck during your journey.

      Jualonso

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