Juggling it all as a caregiver

Yeah, I understand how you feel.  My husband was diagnosed two years ago and went to stage 4 two months after that.  We have gone through Interferon and 3 clinical trials, brain surgery, and two rounds of bio-chemo, with 10 days of whole brain radiation in between. We have scans tomorrow and i don't know what the next day will bring!   In addition, my daughter has been disabled since she was 14 (she is now 22).  I take care of everything for them both and sometimes I feel stressed and overwhelmed!  

I keep a large calendar with every appointment written on it hanging in a spot everyone can see. (my husband loses track of days).  This helps with organization and medications, etc.

I try to cook on one day,  large easy casseroles or other foods and freeze into portion sizes, then just pop them in the microwave on days when I am tired.  Mac & Cheese, Cheesy Chicken & Rice, Lasagne Rollups, french toast, waffles, pancakes, etc,  Pretty much anything you can buy in the frozen food section at the grocery store can be cooked at home and frozen. 

We have friends that are always offering to help, but do not know what to do.  It was hard at first to ask for help, but I allowed them to help with cleaning the house, laundry, etc.  Sometimes the LDS ladies who come by want to help with something right then and there.  They have cleaned, washed dishes, made beds, whatever needed doing.  

Contact your church. They may have a group of volunteers that can help with small home maintenance that your husband may no longer be able to do. 

Maybe there is an older child in the neighborhood that would be willing to help the boys with homework sometimes.  

Try to make a little time for yourself and do not feel guilty about it (i don't always do this).  You need to stay healthy mentally and physically.  I go to the coffee shop and enjoy 10 minutes of mocha time,  or schedule a pedicure in a massage chair, or just a quick massage. It's ok to talk with someone or cry when you need to, but try to enjoy the laughter when you can.

Hope this helps.  I know  a little bit of what you are dealing with.  I wish you well.

Jan

Yeah, I understand how you feel.  My husband was diagnosed two years ago and went to stage 4 two months after that.  We have gone through Interferon and 3 clinical trials, brain surgery, and two rounds of bio-chemo, with 10 days of whole brain radiation in between. We have scans tomorrow and i don't know what the next day will bring!   In addition, my daughter has been disabled since she was 14 (she is now 22).  I take care of everything for them both and sometimes I feel stressed and overwhelmed!  

I keep a large calendar with every appointment written on it hanging in a spot everyone can see. (my husband loses track of days).  This helps with organization and medications, etc.

I try to cook on one day,  large easy casseroles or other foods and freeze into portion sizes, then just pop them in the microwave on days when I am tired.  Mac & Cheese, Cheesy Chicken & Rice, Lasagne Rollups, french toast, waffles, pancakes, etc,  Pretty much anything you can buy in the frozen food section at the grocery store can be cooked at home and frozen. 

We have friends that are always offering to help, but do not know what to do.  It was hard at first to ask for help, but I allowed them to help with cleaning the house, laundry, etc.  Sometimes the LDS ladies who come by want to help with something right then and there.  They have cleaned, washed dishes, made beds, whatever needed doing.  

Contact your church. They may have a group of volunteers that can help with small home maintenance that your husband may no longer be able to do. 

Maybe there is an older child in the neighborhood that would be willing to help the boys with homework sometimes.  

Try to make a little time for yourself and do not feel guilty about it (i don't always do this).  You need to stay healthy mentally and physically.  I go to the coffee shop and enjoy 10 minutes of mocha time,  or schedule a pedicure in a massage chair, or just a quick massage. It's ok to talk with someone or cry when you need to, but try to enjoy the laughter when you can.

Hope this helps.  I know  a little bit of what you are dealing with.  I wish you well.

Jan

Yeah, I understand how you feel.  My husband was diagnosed two years ago and went to stage 4 two months after that.  We have gone through Interferon and 3 clinical trials, brain surgery, and two rounds of bio-chemo, with 10 days of whole brain radiation in between. We have scans tomorrow and i don't know what the next day will bring!   In addition, my daughter has been disabled since she was 14 (she is now 22).  I take care of everything for them both and sometimes I feel stressed and overwhelmed!  

I keep a large calendar with every appointment written on it hanging in a spot everyone can see. (my husband loses track of days).  This helps with organization and medications, etc.

I try to cook on one day,  large easy casseroles or other foods and freeze into portion sizes, then just pop them in the microwave on days when I am tired.  Mac & Cheese, Cheesy Chicken & Rice, Lasagne Rollups, french toast, waffles, pancakes, etc,  Pretty much anything you can buy in the frozen food section at the grocery store can be cooked at home and frozen. 

We have friends that are always offering to help, but do not know what to do.  It was hard at first to ask for help, but I allowed them to help with cleaning the house, laundry, etc.  Sometimes the LDS ladies who come by want to help with something right then and there.  They have cleaned, washed dishes, made beds, whatever needed doing.  

Contact your church. They may have a group of volunteers that can help with small home maintenance that your husband may no longer be able to do. 

Maybe there is an older child in the neighborhood that would be willing to help the boys with homework sometimes.  

Try to make a little time for yourself and do not feel guilty about it (i don't always do this).  You need to stay healthy mentally and physically.  I go to the coffee shop and enjoy 10 minutes of mocha time,  or schedule a pedicure in a massage chair, or just a quick massage. It's ok to talk with someone or cry when you need to, but try to enjoy the laughter when you can.

Hope this helps.  I know  a little bit of what you are dealing with.  I wish you well.

Jan

I know what you're going through.  My kids are 13, 12, and 8 (older ones are boys).  What helped me is having the kids chip in.  My two oldest can cook (not gourmet, mind you) so I ask them to do that, and also their own laundry.  My daughter helps with cleaning and dishes.  I think the homework and keeping up with the kids at school has been the biggest challenge.  In that respect, I asked the school for help.  They stay after for homework help if needed.  I've also had neighbors and friends chip in by stacking wood, mowing lawn, and bringing over dinners.

The most important thing is taking a bit of time for yourself.  I know that this is easier said than done.  I hadn't even gotten a haircut since March, and my mother literally dragged me to the hairdresser yesterday – and it felt good to have some normalcy.  On a side note, my mom is taking care of my brother who is at home with hospice with stage IV peritoneal cancer.  So she really needed the time out too.  Just recharging your batteries can help alot!

I know how overwhelming things are for you right now.  I wish there was a magic wand we could wave.  But in absence of obtaining super powers, we just have to do the best we can and hope that it will get better.

Best wishes to you,

Maria

I know what you're going through.  My kids are 13, 12, and 8 (older ones are boys).  What helped me is having the kids chip in.  My two oldest can cook (not gourmet, mind you) so I ask them to do that, and also their own laundry.  My daughter helps with cleaning and dishes.  I think the homework and keeping up with the kids at school has been the biggest challenge.  In that respect, I asked the school for help.  They stay after for homework help if needed.  I've also had neighbors and friends chip in by stacking wood, mowing lawn, and bringing over dinners.

The most important thing is taking a bit of time for yourself.  I know that this is easier said than done.  I hadn't even gotten a haircut since March, and my mother literally dragged me to the hairdresser yesterday – and it felt good to have some normalcy.  On a side note, my mom is taking care of my brother who is at home with hospice with stage IV peritoneal cancer.  So she really needed the time out too.  Just recharging your batteries can help alot!

I know how overwhelming things are for you right now.  I wish there was a magic wand we could wave.  But in absence of obtaining super powers, we just have to do the best we can and hope that it will get better.

Best wishes to you,

Maria

I know what you're going through.  My kids are 13, 12, and 8 (older ones are boys).  What helped me is having the kids chip in.  My two oldest can cook (not gourmet, mind you) so I ask them to do that, and also their own laundry.  My daughter helps with cleaning and dishes.  I think the homework and keeping up with the kids at school has been the biggest challenge.  In that respect, I asked the school for help.  They stay after for homework help if needed.  I've also had neighbors and friends chip in by stacking wood, mowing lawn, and bringing over dinners.

The most important thing is taking a bit of time for yourself.  I know that this is easier said than done.  I hadn't even gotten a haircut since March, and my mother literally dragged me to the hairdresser yesterday – and it felt good to have some normalcy.  On a side note, my mom is taking care of my brother who is at home with hospice with stage IV peritoneal cancer.  So she really needed the time out too.  Just recharging your batteries can help alot!

I know how overwhelming things are for you right now.  I wish there was a magic wand we could wave.  But in absence of obtaining super powers, we just have to do the best we can and hope that it will get better.

Best wishes to you,

Maria

You have had some great responses to this topic so far. Although we all have different circumstances, I think that there are some important things to keep in mind. These include making a list of priorities (that is what must be done today and what can wait until tomorrow), and taking care of everyone in the household while never forgetting to look after oneself. It is also essential to be able to delegate suitable tasks to those people who have asked if there is anything that they can do to help. 

Take care

Frank from Australia

You have had some great responses to this topic so far. Although we all have different circumstances, I think that there are some important things to keep in mind. These include making a list of priorities (that is what must be done today and what can wait until tomorrow), and taking care of everyone in the household while never forgetting to look after oneself. It is also essential to be able to delegate suitable tasks to those people who have asked if there is anything that they can do to help. 

Take care

Frank from Australia

You have had some great responses to this topic so far. Although we all have different circumstances, I think that there are some important things to keep in mind. These include making a list of priorities (that is what must be done today and what can wait until tomorrow), and taking care of everyone in the household while never forgetting to look after oneself. It is also essential to be able to delegate suitable tasks to those people who have asked if there is anything that they can do to help. 

Take care

Frank from Australia

This has been invaluable for us and gives people a way to help.

You might find my blog helpful for different situations as I’ve tried to document the medical, emotional, and logistical things you’ll face.
cancercabanaboy.blogspot.com

It is an incredibly difficult thing you have to do. Often no one but you can do it. I wish you the strength to carry on.

This has been invaluable for us and gives people a way to help.

You might find my blog helpful for different situations as I’ve tried to document the medical, emotional, and logistical things you’ll face.
cancercabanaboy.blogspot.com

It is an incredibly difficult thing you have to do. Often no one but you can do it. I wish you the strength to carry on.

This has been invaluable for us and gives people a way to help.

You might find my blog helpful for different situations as I’ve tried to document the medical, emotional, and logistical things you’ll face.
cancercabanaboy.blogspot.com

It is an incredibly difficult thing you have to do. Often no one but you can do it. I wish you the strength to carry on.

I went to my first Caregiver Support group meeting today, after 7 months of taking care of my Dad. One suggestion I heard was to keep a "wish jar" or basically list of things that people can do for you. I know it's true that when people ask "Is there anything I can do?" it can be awkward because you can't really call off the top of your head the right chore, task, favor, etc, (and sometimes you feel self conscious to let them know what you really need) but if there is a list of general and other items that need tending to, then people can A) see how much there really is to bog you down, and B) pick something they can accomplish!

I have had ups and downs during dad's treatment, but I never seem to get it all done. I just can't imagine if I also had three kids! I hope you get some good help and favors so you can have some time to take care of yourself!

Best,

DF

I went to my first Caregiver Support group meeting today, after 7 months of taking care of my Dad. One suggestion I heard was to keep a "wish jar" or basically list of things that people can do for you. I know it's true that when people ask "Is there anything I can do?" it can be awkward because you can't really call off the top of your head the right chore, task, favor, etc, (and sometimes you feel self conscious to let them know what you really need) but if there is a list of general and other items that need tending to, then people can A) see how much there really is to bog you down, and B) pick something they can accomplish!

I have had ups and downs during dad's treatment, but I never seem to get it all done. I just can't imagine if I also had three kids! I hope you get some good help and favors so you can have some time to take care of yourself!

Best,

DF

I went to my first Caregiver Support group meeting today, after 7 months of taking care of my Dad. One suggestion I heard was to keep a "wish jar" or basically list of things that people can do for you. I know it's true that when people ask "Is there anything I can do?" it can be awkward because you can't really call off the top of your head the right chore, task, favor, etc, (and sometimes you feel self conscious to let them know what you really need) but if there is a list of general and other items that need tending to, then people can A) see how much there really is to bog you down, and B) pick something they can accomplish!

I have had ups and downs during dad's treatment, but I never seem to get it all done. I just can't imagine if I also had three kids! I hope you get some good help and favors so you can have some time to take care of yourself!

Best,

DF

I feel for you! I have four children 11,4,21/2 and 16 months. My sister in law set up the lotsahelping hands site for us and it was a huge help. We had dinners 2 nights a week and help with other activities as well. It was also a great way for me to keep people updated with my progress during my interferon year. It was really hard for me to accept the help, but I never could have managed it all alone. I finally realized that if I accepted the help, I would have more time to enjoy the important things in my life, especially my kiddos.  also highly reccomend the book Cereal for Dinner- mom's going through illness.  I know you probably have no time at all for a book, but it's a quick read and will make a huge impact! 

You'll be in my prayers,

Michelle

I feel for you! I have four children 11,4,21/2 and 16 months. My sister in law set up the lotsahelping hands site for us and it was a huge help. We had dinners 2 nights a week and help with other activities as well. It was also a great way for me to keep people updated with my progress during my interferon year. It was really hard for me to accept the help, but I never could have managed it all alone. I finally realized that if I accepted the help, I would have more time to enjoy the important things in my life, especially my kiddos.  also highly reccomend the book Cereal for Dinner- mom's going through illness.  I know you probably have no time at all for a book, but it's a quick read and will make a huge impact! 

You'll be in my prayers,

Michelle

I feel for you! I have four children 11,4,21/2 and 16 months. My sister in law set up the lotsahelping hands site for us and it was a huge help. We had dinners 2 nights a week and help with other activities as well. It was also a great way for me to keep people updated with my progress during my interferon year. It was really hard for me to accept the help, but I never could have managed it all alone. I finally realized that if I accepted the help, I would have more time to enjoy the important things in my life, especially my kiddos.  also highly reccomend the book Cereal for Dinner- mom's going through illness.  I know you probably have no time at all for a book, but it's a quick read and will make a huge impact! 

You'll be in my prayers,

Michelle