flydiver

Well, it's been a year now, still Stage IIIC and NED 3 scans following the surgery. Doctors can't give me any straight answers to my questions about survival rates. Averages say I had a 24% change of 5-year survival, but now I wonder if those numbers are skewed by large numbers dying in the first year, or if they include the 70-year-olds that die of natural causes.

I had a difficult time from the nerve damage caused by the axillary lymph node dissection, but I'm healthy and don't think I'll be seeing any tumors for a very long time, if at all.  I feel a little embarrassed that I may have worried a lot of people over nothing. I almost need something to go wrong just to prove I wasn't exagerating.  As bad as it sounds, I envy people with cancer's they can actually see and feel. At least they know its there and can see what direction it's moving. But I'm no longer waiting for the ball to drop.

Well, it's been a year now, still Stage IIIC and NED 3 scans following the surgery. Doctors can't give me any straight answers to my questions about survival rates. Averages say I had a 24% change of 5-year survival, but now I wonder if those numbers are skewed by large numbers dying in the first year, or if they include the 70-year-olds that die of natural causes.

I had a difficult time from the nerve damage caused by the axillary lymph node dissection, but I'm healthy and don't think I'll be seeing any tumors for a very long time, if at all.  I feel a little embarrassed that I may have worried a lot of people over nothing. I almost need something to go wrong just to prove I wasn't exagerating.  As bad as it sounds, I envy people with cancer's they can actually see and feel. At least they know its there and can see what direction it's moving. But I'm no longer waiting for the ball to drop.

Well, it's been a year now, still Stage IIIC and NED 3 scans following the surgery. Doctors can't give me any straight answers to my questions about survival rates. Averages say I had a 24% change of 5-year survival, but now I wonder if those numbers are skewed by large numbers dying in the first year, or if they include the 70-year-olds that die of natural causes.

I had a difficult time from the nerve damage caused by the axillary lymph node dissection, but I'm healthy and don't think I'll be seeing any tumors for a very long time, if at all.  I feel a little embarrassed that I may have worried a lot of people over nothing. I almost need something to go wrong just to prove I wasn't exagerating.  As bad as it sounds, I envy people with cancer's they can actually see and feel. At least they know its there and can see what direction it's moving. But I'm no longer waiting for the ball to drop.

I appreciate all the words of encouragement, but special thanks Kim M. You know where I’m coming from. I own a successful business, but I’ve been over it for a while. I figured if I stick it out another 4 years I’ll have enough for a nice early retirement (at 50) and find something else to do with myself. It may seem hasty, but if there’s a chance that I don’t make it that far, or the retirement will be cut short, then all the more reason to get out now. But I’m equally afraid of cashing in too early and, God forbid, I last another 20 years.

The problem is that I’m stage 3 (metastasized to the lymph nodes), but as I understand it could also be stage 4 since we havent found the primary yet. In either case, its not good, but a pretty wide range as far as the prognosis goes.

Maybe nobody wants to hear this kind of talk but I’ve always been a realist, not a pessimist. And I want answers I know I’m not going to get.

I appreciate all the words of encouragement, but special thanks Kim M. You know where I’m coming from. I own a successful business, but I’ve been over it for a while. I figured if I stick it out another 4 years I’ll have enough for a nice early retirement (at 50) and find something else to do with myself. It may seem hasty, but if there’s a chance that I don’t make it that far, or the retirement will be cut short, then all the more reason to get out now. But I’m equally afraid of cashing in too early and, God forbid, I last another 20 years.

The problem is that I’m stage 3 (metastasized to the lymph nodes), but as I understand it could also be stage 4 since we havent found the primary yet. In either case, its not good, but a pretty wide range as far as the prognosis goes.

Maybe nobody wants to hear this kind of talk but I’ve always been a realist, not a pessimist. And I want answers I know I’m not going to get.

I didn’t mention that i have nothing on my skin, and plan is to remove the regional lymph nodes after the MRI. Assuming the MRI wont find anything, I’ll be left with a Stage III Melanoma of Unknown Origin. I’m not sure what to make of this.

I didn’t mention that i have nothing on my skin, and plan is to remove the regional lymph nodes after the MRI. Assuming the MRI wont find anything, I’ll be left with a Stage III Melanoma of Unknown Origin. I’m not sure what to make of this.

Well they damaged my thoracic nerve during the dissection tho wouldn’t admit to it. I now have a winged scapula and can’t catch a fly ball anymore. It could be worse. But as you can tell from my previous posts, I won’t be doing anythIng more that further risks my health or mobility. And I’ll fit in the scans, but from now on I’m not going to schedule my life around them.

Well they damaged my thoracic nerve during the dissection tho wouldn’t admit to it. I now have a winged scapula and can’t catch a fly ball anymore. It could be worse. But as you can tell from my previous posts, I won’t be doing anythIng more that further risks my health or mobility. And I’ll fit in the scans, but from now on I’m not going to schedule my life around them.

Well they damaged my thoracic nerve during the dissection tho wouldn’t admit to it. I now have a winged scapula and can’t catch a fly ball anymore. It could be worse. But as you can tell from my previous posts, I won’t be doing anythIng more that further risks my health or mobility. And I’ll fit in the scans, but from now on I’m not going to schedule my life around them.

Sorry it’s been a while since my original post, but I appreciate all the replies. We are all in different situations, and I’m had to hear from you, Humorous, as it seems we have much in common. I’m stage IIIC so prognosis is less than 2 years, but I’ve had 2 scans since my lymph nodes were removed and both were clean. I know that could change at any time, but I find myself not thinking too much about it anymore.

While the 5-year survival at my stage is only 24%, I just figure I’ve got between 2 and 5 years and live my life accordingly. I had assumed I had 30 years left, but frankly was worried about what to do with all that time, and if I’d have to live with arthritis, bad knees, and Alzheimer’s. How long would I have to work to ensure a comfortable retirement, and how long would the money need to last?

Problem solved. Well, sort of. Believe it or not, I’m more worried about living 20 years than I am about dying in 2. Even if I make it 10 years, have all the money I need, all the free time in the world, and plenty of friends and family to support me.

So I don’t think about dying – ever. I just adjusted my timeframe to a more realistic lifespan. Yes, I went a little crazy at first. I bought a BMW roadster, took my mom and siblings on a first class trip to Machu Picchu, Peru, then gave 60% of the stock in my small software company to my staff and resigned. Turns out I was bored with it after 12 years and needed the excuse anyway. And now they’re more motivated to build the business than I was, and I still get paid to sit on mymbutt all day.

No, everyone doesn’t have it quite so well. Most facing cancer have a difficult struggle, especially financially, and have dependents to worry about. I guess if anyone had to get Melanoma, I was the best candidate.

I’m not saying it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got depressed and distanced myself for a while, and kept it to myself. I stopped taking care of myself and started sleeping all day. Then one day I looked in the mirror and thought, this is not the way I want the end of my life to be. I since shared my story with everyone I know, have been getting back in shape, and have decided to make the next 2-5 years the best they can be. I’ve been traveling, partying, making new friends and stopped putting things off, whether I want to do them or not (after 3 years putting off cleaning out the garage I finally did it just today). Then I booked a Caribbean cruise for the end of the month.

So, if I’m still around in 5 years, I’ll figure out the next 5 years then. For now, I live for today and just don’t make any long term plans beyond a couple of years.

As for treatments, I’m not going to waste a minute in a clinic unless they can assure me they can extend my life without destroying the quality. I know I probably won’t live as long as my friends and family, and I’m somehow ok with that. Believe it or not, that knowledge had opened new doors for me and energized me to to do more with my life, rather than sitting around waiting to see what life throws at me.

I dont know if your financial situation allows you all the same benefits, but if I had little money, I’d probably be backpacking around Europe right now. I hope you have a long life, but whatever the case, make it a good one!

Sorry it’s been a while since my original post, but I appreciate all the replies. We are all in different situations, and I’m had to hear from you, Humorous, as it seems we have much in common. I’m stage IIIC so prognosis is less than 2 years, but I’ve had 2 scans since my lymph nodes were removed and both were clean. I know that could change at any time, but I find myself not thinking too much about it anymore.

While the 5-year survival at my stage is only 24%, I just figure I’ve got between 2 and 5 years and live my life accordingly. I had assumed I had 30 years left, but frankly was worried about what to do with all that time, and if I’d have to live with arthritis, bad knees, and Alzheimer’s. How long would I have to work to ensure a comfortable retirement, and how long would the money need to last?

Problem solved. Well, sort of. Believe it or not, I’m more worried about living 20 years than I am about dying in 2. Even if I make it 10 years, have all the money I need, all the free time in the world, and plenty of friends and family to support me.

So I don’t think about dying – ever. I just adjusted my timeframe to a more realistic lifespan. Yes, I went a little crazy at first. I bought a BMW roadster, took my mom and siblings on a first class trip to Machu Picchu, Peru, then gave 60% of the stock in my small software company to my staff and resigned. Turns out I was bored with it after 12 years and needed the excuse anyway. And now they’re more motivated to build the business than I was, and I still get paid to sit on mymbutt all day.

No, everyone doesn’t have it quite so well. Most facing cancer have a difficult struggle, especially financially, and have dependents to worry about. I guess if anyone had to get Melanoma, I was the best candidate.

I’m not saying it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got depressed and distanced myself for a while, and kept it to myself. I stopped taking care of myself and started sleeping all day. Then one day I looked in the mirror and thought, this is not the way I want the end of my life to be. I since shared my story with everyone I know, have been getting back in shape, and have decided to make the next 2-5 years the best they can be. I’ve been traveling, partying, making new friends and stopped putting things off, whether I want to do them or not (after 3 years putting off cleaning out the garage I finally did it just today). Then I booked a Caribbean cruise for the end of the month.

So, if I’m still around in 5 years, I’ll figure out the next 5 years then. For now, I live for today and just don’t make any long term plans beyond a couple of years.

As for treatments, I’m not going to waste a minute in a clinic unless they can assure me they can extend my life without destroying the quality. I know I probably won’t live as long as my friends and family, and I’m somehow ok with that. Believe it or not, that knowledge had opened new doors for me and energized me to to do more with my life, rather than sitting around waiting to see what life throws at me.

I dont know if your financial situation allows you all the same benefits, but if I had little money, I’d probably be backpacking around Europe right now. I hope you have a long life, but whatever the case, make it a good one!

Sorry it’s been a while since my original post, but I appreciate all the replies. We are all in different situations, and I’m had to hear from you, Humorous, as it seems we have much in common. I’m stage IIIC so prognosis is less than 2 years, but I’ve had 2 scans since my lymph nodes were removed and both were clean. I know that could change at any time, but I find myself not thinking too much about it anymore.

While the 5-year survival at my stage is only 24%, I just figure I’ve got between 2 and 5 years and live my life accordingly. I had assumed I had 30 years left, but frankly was worried about what to do with all that time, and if I’d have to live with arthritis, bad knees, and Alzheimer’s. How long would I have to work to ensure a comfortable retirement, and how long would the money need to last?

Problem solved. Well, sort of. Believe it or not, I’m more worried about living 20 years than I am about dying in 2. Even if I make it 10 years, have all the money I need, all the free time in the world, and plenty of friends and family to support me.

So I don’t think about dying – ever. I just adjusted my timeframe to a more realistic lifespan. Yes, I went a little crazy at first. I bought a BMW roadster, took my mom and siblings on a first class trip to Machu Picchu, Peru, then gave 60% of the stock in my small software company to my staff and resigned. Turns out I was bored with it after 12 years and needed the excuse anyway. And now they’re more motivated to build the business than I was, and I still get paid to sit on mymbutt all day.

No, everyone doesn’t have it quite so well. Most facing cancer have a difficult struggle, especially financially, and have dependents to worry about. I guess if anyone had to get Melanoma, I was the best candidate.

I’m not saying it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got depressed and distanced myself for a while, and kept it to myself. I stopped taking care of myself and started sleeping all day. Then one day I looked in the mirror and thought, this is not the way I want the end of my life to be. I since shared my story with everyone I know, have been getting back in shape, and have decided to make the next 2-5 years the best they can be. I’ve been traveling, partying, making new friends and stopped putting things off, whether I want to do them or not (after 3 years putting off cleaning out the garage I finally did it just today). Then I booked a Caribbean cruise for the end of the month.

So, if I’m still around in 5 years, I’ll figure out the next 5 years then. For now, I live for today and just don’t make any long term plans beyond a couple of years.

As for treatments, I’m not going to waste a minute in a clinic unless they can assure me they can extend my life without destroying the quality. I know I probably won’t live as long as my friends and family, and I’m somehow ok with that. Believe it or not, that knowledge had opened new doors for me and energized me to to do more with my life, rather than sitting around waiting to see what life throws at me.

I dont know if your financial situation allows you all the same benefits, but if I had little money, I’d probably be backpacking around Europe right now. I hope you have a long life, but whatever the case, make it a good one!