Concerned_Australia

Hi all,

I just wanted to provide an update regarding my relative's current affect (after atteding a review where confirmation was provided that Melanoma Brian MET is present in situ).

It appears that my Mother-in-law is being quite hopeful and positive about the additional diagnosis and delay in commencement of the radiotherapy to treat the brain MET. Please don't get me wrong, I think that it is highly appropriate and beneficial for hope and positivity to remain however; given the general prognosis assciated with melanoma – brain metasteses, I thought that there would be some sense of urgency to make best use of the time available (while my father-in-law still has a significant quality of life). It I was her, in addition to planning a trip and family time, I would also be madly researching all available treatment options to assist with any increase in overall survival rate, the chance to achieve NED status, and preserve his quality of life for the longest possible period of time. Mind you, I have already completed research and passed the information on (which was not read, or discussed with the Oncologist).

I don't know if this is me being overly paranoid, or perhaps cynical but could it be possible that the Oncologist has not completed an appropriate prognosis-related communication with her patient regarding the narrow time-frames and end of life aspects associated with this diagnosis? Obviously, it is not my place to have these discussions with my parents-in-law. I have attempted (very gently) to talk to my wife about it and raise my concerns re: treatment delays, but she does not wish to disucss those issues (too painful).

I am concerned because I don't want anyone to have any regrets regarding activities, conversations and / or plans that could have been organised at this point when he still has high function and good quality of life..

Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Am I just thinking too much? If I am, please tell me to let it go..

Thanks ina dvance for any advice and/or reassurance.

Hi all,

I just wanted to provide an update regarding my relative's current affect (after atteding a review where confirmation was provided that Melanoma Brian MET is present in situ).

It appears that my Mother-in-law is being quite hopeful and positive about the additional diagnosis and delay in commencement of the radiotherapy to treat the brain MET. Please don't get me wrong, I think that it is highly appropriate and beneficial for hope and positivity to remain however; given the general prognosis assciated with melanoma – brain metasteses, I thought that there would be some sense of urgency to make best use of the time available (while my father-in-law still has a significant quality of life). It I was her, in addition to planning a trip and family time, I would also be madly researching all available treatment options to assist with any increase in overall survival rate, the chance to achieve NED status, and preserve his quality of life for the longest possible period of time. Mind you, I have already completed research and passed the information on (which was not read, or discussed with the Oncologist).

I don't know if this is me being overly paranoid, or perhaps cynical but could it be possible that the Oncologist has not completed an appropriate prognosis-related communication with her patient regarding the narrow time-frames and end of life aspects associated with this diagnosis? Obviously, it is not my place to have these discussions with my parents-in-law. I have attempted (very gently) to talk to my wife about it and raise my concerns re: treatment delays, but she does not wish to disucss those issues (too painful).

I am concerned because I don't want anyone to have any regrets regarding activities, conversations and / or plans that could have been organised at this point when he still has high function and good quality of life..

Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Am I just thinking too much? If I am, please tell me to let it go..

Thanks ina dvance for any advice and/or reassurance.

Hi all,

I just wanted to provide an update regarding my relative's current affect (after atteding a review where confirmation was provided that Melanoma Brian MET is present in situ).

It appears that my Mother-in-law is being quite hopeful and positive about the additional diagnosis and delay in commencement of the radiotherapy to treat the brain MET. Please don't get me wrong, I think that it is highly appropriate and beneficial for hope and positivity to remain however; given the general prognosis assciated with melanoma – brain metasteses, I thought that there would be some sense of urgency to make best use of the time available (while my father-in-law still has a significant quality of life). It I was her, in addition to planning a trip and family time, I would also be madly researching all available treatment options to assist with any increase in overall survival rate, the chance to achieve NED status, and preserve his quality of life for the longest possible period of time. Mind you, I have already completed research and passed the information on (which was not read, or discussed with the Oncologist).

I don't know if this is me being overly paranoid, or perhaps cynical but could it be possible that the Oncologist has not completed an appropriate prognosis-related communication with her patient regarding the narrow time-frames and end of life aspects associated with this diagnosis? Obviously, it is not my place to have these discussions with my parents-in-law. I have attempted (very gently) to talk to my wife about it and raise my concerns re: treatment delays, but she does not wish to disucss those issues (too painful).

I am concerned because I don't want anyone to have any regrets regarding activities, conversations and / or plans that could have been organised at this point when he still has high function and good quality of life..

Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Am I just thinking too much? If I am, please tell me to let it go..

Thanks ina dvance for any advice and/or reassurance.

Thank you very much for your reply, Arty!

From what I see, he has lost some weight and is definitely more lethargic. He has lost alot of basic endurance (things like inability to stand for long periods of time, etc). I guess it is how I would expect him to be, but he certainly doesn't look like he is near the end.

I guess I anticipated your answer re: "they could be delaying the treatment so that he can enjoy the time that he has"… but I just want him to fight. I researched pd1 and passed the information on but they didn't even read it or discuss the option with the Oncologist. I makes me sad but I understand that we've got to support him and his decisions, even if we don't agree with them.

I assume that options were provided and a choice was made.. just to enjoy the time he has left.

It's all very hard for my wife and our family.

Thank you very much for your reply, Arty!

From what I see, he has lost some weight and is definitely more lethargic. He has lost alot of basic endurance (things like inability to stand for long periods of time, etc). I guess it is how I would expect him to be, but he certainly doesn't look like he is near the end.

I guess I anticipated your answer re: "they could be delaying the treatment so that he can enjoy the time that he has"… but I just want him to fight. I researched pd1 and passed the information on but they didn't even read it or discuss the option with the Oncologist. I makes me sad but I understand that we've got to support him and his decisions, even if we don't agree with them.

I assume that options were provided and a choice was made.. just to enjoy the time he has left.

It's all very hard for my wife and our family.

Thank you very much for your reply, Arty!

From what I see, he has lost some weight and is definitely more lethargic. He has lost alot of basic endurance (things like inability to stand for long periods of time, etc). I guess it is how I would expect him to be, but he certainly doesn't look like he is near the end.

I guess I anticipated your answer re: "they could be delaying the treatment so that he can enjoy the time that he has"… but I just want him to fight. I researched pd1 and passed the information on but they didn't even read it or discuss the option with the Oncologist. I makes me sad but I understand that we've got to support him and his decisions, even if we don't agree with them.

I assume that options were provided and a choice was made.. just to enjoy the time he has left.

It's all very hard for my wife and our family.