2Kathy

Good luck to you! I’m doing all my screening on Monday, hopefully nothing is found that prevents me from making the trial.

Thanks Ed. Barring anything unexpected in the screening, and pending the results of a brain MRI, I’m planning to enroll in the CMP-001 trial at Dana-Farber.

Thank you very much for your response I appreciate it. I have had a effing 3 Mondays in a row. I am stage iv, no primary, diganosed via a lymph node tumor in my groin and also have one in my neck and a tumor in my abdomen.

Had my first ipi/nivo on 6/8 and was into hyperthyrodism a week later – fever, neck pain, night sweats. Started treament with the endocronologist for that. A week later comes the diarrhea, 2 days of that and I was in the hospital with colitis for 2 nights, and put on steroids.

I can't continue ipi/nivo per my doctor because of the extreme side effects, so when I'm off the steroids, I am going to try every 2 weeks Opdivo.

And then Monday….the clot and the shots. WHAT A MONTH.

I do hope the side effects means things are working, that would be awesome. I'm anxious to stop treating (and developing) side effects and get to treating the CANCER.

My approach to this whole mess is to feel the sadness and grief and fear, because it's there and it's powerful and I have to express it and acknowledge it. But it doesn't stop me from doing what I need to do – I learned how to give myself shots while crying. I actually do have a good sense of humor and am able to use it to cope with some stuff that happens.

Thanks 

Thanks for the reply. I really hope at some point I can move to pills, injections are daunting. 

Thanks for sharing, can’t imagine what it was like dealing with this after just having a baby. Glad to hear you’re doing so well now. My highest fever was 101.9, and I did speak to my doctor when they started. Tylenol controls them pretty well, and I don’t take it until they hit 100. 

My thyroid numbers were a little,out of the normal range before starting treatment so that’s why I am concerned that’s what is behind this. Going to check in with the nurse tomorrow – thankfully, they say to call no matter how minor the concern seems and I’m like No problem, I will definitely do that!

Thanks Beth. There’s a lot of great information here and I think, as you say, I need to look elsewhere for a safe place to express feelings. Which is fine, having this a great informational resource is valuable enough. I did find what looks like a great book by someone who had stage 4 melanoma and was part of the clinical trials, on ipi/nivo. Here’s an interview with the author.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/05/surviving-cancer-without-the-positive-thinking/481764/

I also applied for the buddy program about 2 weeks ago, hopefully that will pan out.

So sorry you also had to endure the loss of your four-legged family at the same time as dealing with all of this. They are such a source of comfort, joy and most importantly, unconditional love and acceptance (ok, “unconditionally” might be a stretch when it comes to cats:)) 

Sorry to hear about your husband, but I'm glad that you've found this place to provide you with the support you need. I had a bad go with my depression when my mom died that is very close to what I am experiencing now, but this is worse. I have my therapist to talk to in a safe environment about what I'm feeling and I'm going to investigate getting some sessions with someone from my cancer center as well. Thank you for your kind works and I wish you and your husband all the best. 

Thanks for the response!

Thanks, I appreciate your compassion.

Thank you for all the information and yes you’re right, my eyes did glaze over, guilty as charged 🙂 You do amazing work, and I know your blog is a wonderful  resource for so many here. And I have spent sometime on your site, I appreciate the links.

I think having two illnesses – clinical depression and cancer – is providing me with some challenges that I need to find some specialized help for. You’re right about seeking the help that I need and I think writing this post helped me realized that finding some specific support with managing them both is going to be critical for me, 

Well that is awful, I’m very sorry that you had to go through such horrible side effects. It’s scary to contemplate them but I need to know the realities and it sounds like the side effects do range from mild to unpleasant but manageable to unbearable. Thanks for sharing your experience.