› Forums › Cutaneous Melanoma Community › Scan time~a little anxious~
- This topic has 24 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 12 years ago by
KRob.
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- April 19, 2012 at 4:02 am
Hello friends, I’ve been hanging around this board since 2006 when I was first diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma at the age of 24. I first off want to thank you all so much for your encouragement, advice, wealth of knowledge and most of all your support. Anyways after the surgeries and the interferon year I didn’t think I would ever have to deal with melanoma again, especially since all my scans came back good. With each year that passed and each scan the more and more I forgot about melanoma.Hello friends, I’ve been hanging around this board since 2006 when I was first diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma at the age of 24. I first off want to thank you all so much for your encouragement, advice, wealth of knowledge and most of all your support. Anyways after the surgeries and the interferon year I didn’t think I would ever have to deal with melanoma again, especially since all my scans came back good. With each year that passed and each scan the more and more I forgot about melanoma. After the birth of my second child I developed two new primary melanomas about 6 months apart from each other which shook me just a bit. The most recent primary was jan 2011 and it was stage 2 so I had to go through the SNB/ lymphoscintigraphy thing again but thankfully the nodes were neg:-) but since the new recurrence my oncologist decided to scan more frequently than once a year. Within that same year my best friend (who was also a stage 3 melanoma patient 1.3mm lesion Clark’s 3 w/ +SNB) found out on a routine scan that his cancer had returned to his rt lung. He had the rt upper lobe of his lung removed and since he couldn’t find any treatment for surgically resected melanoma (stage4) he did the watch n wait with scans (his lung surf was in July 2011) by nov 2011 he began urinating black liquid and was feeling very lethargic and having night sweats. He came to the dr for scans and found out the melanoma spread to his liver, lungs, spleen, and bones. He started zelboraf but his tumor burden was so high by the time he started that he didn’t even respond to it. He passed away feb 13, 2012 with his family , me and a select other friends by his side. After experiencing his battle and death from melanoma it absolutely terrifies me about scan time. I’ve never been like this before but I feel completely smothered at times from the anxiety this disease brings. Just last Friday I had a biopsy of a new skin lesion and I’m usually not like this but I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about this lesion and praying it’s not another melanoma. Normally I cope very well with this disease but since my friends death I’ve been having a really hard time, especially since its scan time and I’m waiting on biopsy results. My friend name is Joseph Allen Stevens. He had just turned 33 and was a brilliant ER nurse abd very athletic.he will forever be missed and loved. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Much love and God Bless,
Alicia
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- April 19, 2012 at 11:24 am
Alicia, I am so sorry about your friend. He was so very young. Thoughts and prayers to you and his family. Thank you for sharing both of your stories. How soon are your scans? I hope you get the best results possible. Peace and positive thoughts go out to you ! Melissa
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- April 19, 2012 at 11:24 am
Alicia, I am so sorry about your friend. He was so very young. Thoughts and prayers to you and his family. Thank you for sharing both of your stories. How soon are your scans? I hope you get the best results possible. Peace and positive thoughts go out to you ! Melissa
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- April 19, 2012 at 11:24 am
Alicia, I am so sorry about your friend. He was so very young. Thoughts and prayers to you and his family. Thank you for sharing both of your stories. How soon are your scans? I hope you get the best results possible. Peace and positive thoughts go out to you ! Melissa
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Alicia, so sorry to hear the news about another mel warriors passing. This disease is really a beast. My prayers go out to you and his family.
Your fight has been a long and hard one and I feel the scanaxiety stress in your writing. Please think about the good and do not dwell on the bad as depression and anxiety are not the best atmosphere right now. Keep a positive attitude and thoughts. I pray that your scans do not bear bad news. My husband will be having scans next week so I know the anxiety from a wife and caregivers perspective. He has been on Ipi for 13 months now and we keep hoping for the NED results which we are hoping for to give us a little peace of mind and reason to celebrate.
Again you as well as the other great warriors are in my prayers everyday. Keep up the fight.
Judy (loving wife and caregiver to Gene Stage IV)
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Alicia, so sorry to hear the news about another mel warriors passing. This disease is really a beast. My prayers go out to you and his family.
Your fight has been a long and hard one and I feel the scanaxiety stress in your writing. Please think about the good and do not dwell on the bad as depression and anxiety are not the best atmosphere right now. Keep a positive attitude and thoughts. I pray that your scans do not bear bad news. My husband will be having scans next week so I know the anxiety from a wife and caregivers perspective. He has been on Ipi for 13 months now and we keep hoping for the NED results which we are hoping for to give us a little peace of mind and reason to celebrate.
Again you as well as the other great warriors are in my prayers everyday. Keep up the fight.
Judy (loving wife and caregiver to Gene Stage IV)
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Alicia, so sorry to hear the news about another mel warriors passing. This disease is really a beast. My prayers go out to you and his family.
Your fight has been a long and hard one and I feel the scanaxiety stress in your writing. Please think about the good and do not dwell on the bad as depression and anxiety are not the best atmosphere right now. Keep a positive attitude and thoughts. I pray that your scans do not bear bad news. My husband will be having scans next week so I know the anxiety from a wife and caregivers perspective. He has been on Ipi for 13 months now and we keep hoping for the NED results which we are hoping for to give us a little peace of mind and reason to celebrate.
Again you as well as the other great warriors are in my prayers everyday. Keep up the fight.
Judy (loving wife and caregiver to Gene Stage IV)
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Alicia,
I'm sorry about your friend. I remember a few months ago when you posted asking for suggestions for him.
I know this has raised your anxiety levels even higher. It is going to take some time for you to be able to put melanoma into the back of your thoughts. I used to be able to push the thoughts away but now it is hanging over me since Oct. I too am hoping I can put it behind my thoughts one moment at a time. Maybe after your next scan and it's clear you will breathe a little deeper.
Linda
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- April 20, 2012 at 3:27 am
Thanks so much Judy, Linda and Nahmi! I’m feeling better already….just got my biopsy results back today and while it wasn’t completely normal it was better than another melanoma primary. This one came back with moderate to severe architectural atypia and they didn’t get clear margins so I have to go back for another re-excision in two weeks to get clear margins. My PET scan is next Friday at 1pm. Judy I will be in prayer for you and Gene about him getting a good result of his upcoming PET scan as well. Linda, mine and your stories are so similar with the multiple melanoma primaries. Thanks for all your positive thoughts. You all have really helped me feel better:-) and I know my friend Joey is watching over me and pleading on my behalf in heaven.
Much love,
Alicia -
- April 20, 2012 at 3:27 am
Thanks so much Judy, Linda and Nahmi! I’m feeling better already….just got my biopsy results back today and while it wasn’t completely normal it was better than another melanoma primary. This one came back with moderate to severe architectural atypia and they didn’t get clear margins so I have to go back for another re-excision in two weeks to get clear margins. My PET scan is next Friday at 1pm. Judy I will be in prayer for you and Gene about him getting a good result of his upcoming PET scan as well. Linda, mine and your stories are so similar with the multiple melanoma primaries. Thanks for all your positive thoughts. You all have really helped me feel better:-) and I know my friend Joey is watching over me and pleading on my behalf in heaven.
Much love,
Alicia -
- April 20, 2012 at 3:27 am
Thanks so much Judy, Linda and Nahmi! I’m feeling better already….just got my biopsy results back today and while it wasn’t completely normal it was better than another melanoma primary. This one came back with moderate to severe architectural atypia and they didn’t get clear margins so I have to go back for another re-excision in two weeks to get clear margins. My PET scan is next Friday at 1pm. Judy I will be in prayer for you and Gene about him getting a good result of his upcoming PET scan as well. Linda, mine and your stories are so similar with the multiple melanoma primaries. Thanks for all your positive thoughts. You all have really helped me feel better:-) and I know my friend Joey is watching over me and pleading on my behalf in heaven.
Much love,
Alicia
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Alicia,
I'm sorry about your friend. I remember a few months ago when you posted asking for suggestions for him.
I know this has raised your anxiety levels even higher. It is going to take some time for you to be able to put melanoma into the back of your thoughts. I used to be able to push the thoughts away but now it is hanging over me since Oct. I too am hoping I can put it behind my thoughts one moment at a time. Maybe after your next scan and it's clear you will breathe a little deeper.
Linda
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Alicia,
I'm sorry about your friend. I remember a few months ago when you posted asking for suggestions for him.
I know this has raised your anxiety levels even higher. It is going to take some time for you to be able to put melanoma into the back of your thoughts. I used to be able to push the thoughts away but now it is hanging over me since Oct. I too am hoping I can put it behind my thoughts one moment at a time. Maybe after your next scan and it's clear you will breathe a little deeper.
Linda
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- April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Alicia, so sorry to hear the news about another mel warriors passing. This disease is really a beast. My prayers go out to you and his family.
Your fight has been a long and hard one and I feel the scanaxiety stress in your writing. Please think about the good and do not dwell on the bad as depression and anxiety are not the best atmosphere right now. Keep a positive attitude and thoughts. I pray that your scans do not bear bad news. My husband will be having scans next week so I know the anxiety from a wife and caregivers perspective. He has been on Ipi for 13 months now and we keep hoping for the NED results which we are hoping for to give us a little peace of mind and reason to celebrate.
Again you as well as the other great warriors are in my prayers everyday. Keep up the fight.
Judy (loving wife and caregiver to Gene Stage IV)
-
- April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Alicia, so sorry to hear the news about another mel warriors passing. This disease is really a beast. My prayers go out to you and his family.
Your fight has been a long and hard one and I feel the scanaxiety stress in your writing. Please think about the good and do not dwell on the bad as depression and anxiety are not the best atmosphere right now. Keep a positive attitude and thoughts. I pray that your scans do not bear bad news. My husband will be having scans next week so I know the anxiety from a wife and caregivers perspective. He has been on Ipi for 13 months now and we keep hoping for the NED results which we are hoping for to give us a little peace of mind and reason to celebrate.
Again you as well as the other great warriors are in my prayers everyday. Keep up the fight.
Judy (loving wife and caregiver to Gene Stage IV)
-
- April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Alicia, so sorry to hear the news about another mel warriors passing. This disease is really a beast. My prayers go out to you and his family.
Your fight has been a long and hard one and I feel the scanaxiety stress in your writing. Please think about the good and do not dwell on the bad as depression and anxiety are not the best atmosphere right now. Keep a positive attitude and thoughts. I pray that your scans do not bear bad news. My husband will be having scans next week so I know the anxiety from a wife and caregivers perspective. He has been on Ipi for 13 months now and we keep hoping for the NED results which we are hoping for to give us a little peace of mind and reason to celebrate.
Again you as well as the other great warriors are in my prayers everyday. Keep up the fight.
Judy (loving wife and caregiver to Gene Stage IV)
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- April 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Alicia,
It's certainly understandable why you would feel overwhelmed- you have been living very deeply in the world of melanoma, and it can be a dark place.
I think your best asset in dealing with your anxieties about your own case is to draw on the strengths you've already demonstrated by marching on with life and standing by a friend who needed your support- how strong you must be!
That being said, I would advise you to allow yourself to lean on others too when your strength and confidence is shaky. That may even mean confiding in a spiritual advisor and/or counselor to help you through these times.
Best to you as you face these tough days. May you find strength and hope, and may your tests come out with the best results possible!
Karen
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- April 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Alicia,
It's certainly understandable why you would feel overwhelmed- you have been living very deeply in the world of melanoma, and it can be a dark place.
I think your best asset in dealing with your anxieties about your own case is to draw on the strengths you've already demonstrated by marching on with life and standing by a friend who needed your support- how strong you must be!
That being said, I would advise you to allow yourself to lean on others too when your strength and confidence is shaky. That may even mean confiding in a spiritual advisor and/or counselor to help you through these times.
Best to you as you face these tough days. May you find strength and hope, and may your tests come out with the best results possible!
Karen
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- April 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Alicia,
It's certainly understandable why you would feel overwhelmed- you have been living very deeply in the world of melanoma, and it can be a dark place.
I think your best asset in dealing with your anxieties about your own case is to draw on the strengths you've already demonstrated by marching on with life and standing by a friend who needed your support- how strong you must be!
That being said, I would advise you to allow yourself to lean on others too when your strength and confidence is shaky. That may even mean confiding in a spiritual advisor and/or counselor to help you through these times.
Best to you as you face these tough days. May you find strength and hope, and may your tests come out with the best results possible!
Karen
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