The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content within the patient forum is user-generated and has not been reviewed by medical professionals. Other sections of the Melanoma Research Foundation website include information that has been reviewed by medical professionals as appropriate. All medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor or other qualified medical professional.

Need answers for my mom

Forums Cutaneous Melanoma Community Need answers for my mom

  • Post
    JimS
    Participant

    Hi,Jim here from Ohio.About a year and a half ago,my mom got what I guess could be called a small lump-like thing on her arm.It looked like an infected mole or an infected bite of some sort.It was purple.Her regular doc said it didnt look like cancer to her and prescribed a cream for it.My mom said the cream seemed to help for a while but it ran out.When she called her doc,the doc said to see a dermatologist to be safe.The visit was today.The dermatologist looked and said she couldnt rule anything out.She said it could be an infected lesion,treatable skin cancer or melanoma,as she said some melanomas are purple.She did a biopsy and then removed the rest.We now wait 7-10 days for results and we are all scared.My mom just lost her sister,my aunt,to lymphoma and is certain she now has melanoma.Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated.Please help!!And thanks.

Viewing 11 reply threads
  • Replies
      Janner
      Participant

      Unfortunately, you will really have to wait for the biopsy report.  Melanoma just isn't diagnosed reliably from just "looking".   Hopefully, the results will come in quicker and you can go from there.  If it does end up melanoma, get a copy of the pathology report.  Any help we give here would rely on that as the main source of info.  Fingers crossed that you really don't have to come back here!

      Janner
      Participant

      Unfortunately, you will really have to wait for the biopsy report.  Melanoma just isn't diagnosed reliably from just "looking".   Hopefully, the results will come in quicker and you can go from there.  If it does end up melanoma, get a copy of the pathology report.  Any help we give here would rely on that as the main source of info.  Fingers crossed that you really don't have to come back here!

      Janner
      Participant

      Unfortunately, you will really have to wait for the biopsy report.  Melanoma just isn't diagnosed reliably from just "looking".   Hopefully, the results will come in quicker and you can go from there.  If it does end up melanoma, get a copy of the pathology report.  Any help we give here would rely on that as the main source of info.  Fingers crossed that you really don't have to come back here!

        JimS
        Participant
        Thanks for the reply.I understand.I guess I’m just looking for something to tell my mom to calm her down.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thanks for the reply.I understand.I guess I’m just looking for something to tell my mom to calm her down.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thanks for the reply.I understand.I guess I’m just looking for something to tell my mom to calm her down.
        Janner
        Participant

        Pre-worry never helped anyone, but I doubt that will help mom.  Everyone here knows and hates the waiting game, we do it all the time.  Scans, biopsy results, it's the bane of a cancer patient.  Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet for waiting.  Sorry.

        Janner
        Participant

        Pre-worry never helped anyone, but I doubt that will help mom.  Everyone here knows and hates the waiting game, we do it all the time.  Scans, biopsy results, it's the bane of a cancer patient.  Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet for waiting.  Sorry.

        Janner
        Participant

        Pre-worry never helped anyone, but I doubt that will help mom.  Everyone here knows and hates the waiting game, we do it all the time.  Scans, biopsy results, it's the bane of a cancer patient.  Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet for waiting.  Sorry.

        JimS
        Participant
        She’s convinced herself that it is only cancer but I told her the doc wouldn’t have said it could not be if she didn’t believe it to be so.I told her it could be plenty of other things besides cancer.
        JimS
        Participant
        She’s convinced herself that it is only cancer but I told her the doc wouldn’t have said it could not be if she didn’t believe it to be so.I told her it could be plenty of other things besides cancer.
        JimS
        Participant
        She’s convinced herself that it is only cancer but I told her the doc wouldn’t have said it could not be if she didn’t believe it to be so.I told her it could be plenty of other things besides cancer.
        JimS
        Participant
        If it does turn out to be melanoma,how serious is it?Is it a death sentence?I’m very frightened
        JimS
        Participant
        If it does turn out to be melanoma,how serious is it?Is it a death sentence?I’m very frightened
        JimS
        Participant
        If it does turn out to be melanoma,how serious is it?Is it a death sentence?I’m very frightened
        Janner
        Participant

        That's why I mentioned getting a pathology report if it is melanoma.  Staging is important in understanding prognosis.  No, not a death sentence at all, but the earlier things are caught, the better the prognosis. 

        Janner
        Participant

        That's why I mentioned getting a pathology report if it is melanoma.  Staging is important in understanding prognosis.  No, not a death sentence at all, but the earlier things are caught, the better the prognosis. 

        Janner
        Participant

        That's why I mentioned getting a pathology report if it is melanoma.  Staging is important in understanding prognosis.  No, not a death sentence at all, but the earlier things are caught, the better the prognosis. 

        JimS
        Participant
        Is a cause for worry the fact that this was on my mom’s arm for close to two years?
        JimS
        Participant
        Is a cause for worry the fact that this was on my mom’s arm for close to two years?
        JimS
        Participant
        Is a cause for worry the fact that this was on my mom’s arm for close to two years?
      JustMeInCA
      Participant

      Something you might take hope in is that, from what you've said, your mom's lump doesn't appear to have grown or changed much over the past year and a half. My dad's primary melanoma was also a small fleshy-pink colored lump, but it grew upwards, outwards and, we later found out, in depth at a very fast pace. Within just a couple months, it had doubled in size and went from the size of a pencil eraser to the size of a golf ball between April and September. His tumor also changed color and became ulcerated. So, the fact that you don't mention any of this about your mom's lump makes me think it might be good news. Melanoma is unpredictable, but I'd think one would expect at least some growth in a nodular melanoma over that period of time. My aunt had something similar to what you describe, and hers was basal cell. Try not to worry.

      JustMeInCA
      Participant

      Something you might take hope in is that, from what you've said, your mom's lump doesn't appear to have grown or changed much over the past year and a half. My dad's primary melanoma was also a small fleshy-pink colored lump, but it grew upwards, outwards and, we later found out, in depth at a very fast pace. Within just a couple months, it had doubled in size and went from the size of a pencil eraser to the size of a golf ball between April and September. His tumor also changed color and became ulcerated. So, the fact that you don't mention any of this about your mom's lump makes me think it might be good news. Melanoma is unpredictable, but I'd think one would expect at least some growth in a nodular melanoma over that period of time. My aunt had something similar to what you describe, and hers was basal cell. Try not to worry.

      JustMeInCA
      Participant

      Something you might take hope in is that, from what you've said, your mom's lump doesn't appear to have grown or changed much over the past year and a half. My dad's primary melanoma was also a small fleshy-pink colored lump, but it grew upwards, outwards and, we later found out, in depth at a very fast pace. Within just a couple months, it had doubled in size and went from the size of a pencil eraser to the size of a golf ball between April and September. His tumor also changed color and became ulcerated. So, the fact that you don't mention any of this about your mom's lump makes me think it might be good news. Melanoma is unpredictable, but I'd think one would expect at least some growth in a nodular melanoma over that period of time. My aunt had something similar to what you describe, and hers was basal cell. Try not to worry.

      JustMeInCA
      Participant

      Something you might take hope in is that, from what you've said, your mom's lump doesn't appear to have grown or changed much over the past year and a half. My dad's primary melanoma was also a small fleshy-pink colored lump, but it grew upwards, outwards and, we later found out, in depth at a very fast pace. Within just a couple months, it had doubled in size and went from the size of a pencil eraser to the size of a golf ball between April and September. His tumor also changed color and became ulcerated. So, the fact that you don't mention any of this about your mom's lump makes me think it might be good news. Melanoma is unpredictable, but I'd think one would expect at least some growth in a nodular melanoma over that period of time. My aunt had something similar to what you describe, and hers was basal cell. Try not to worry.

      JustMeInCA
      Participant

      Something you might take hope in is that, from what you've said, your mom's lump doesn't appear to have grown or changed much over the past year and a half. My dad's primary melanoma was also a small fleshy-pink colored lump, but it grew upwards, outwards and, we later found out, in depth at a very fast pace. Within just a couple months, it had doubled in size and went from the size of a pencil eraser to the size of a golf ball between April and September. His tumor also changed color and became ulcerated. So, the fact that you don't mention any of this about your mom's lump makes me think it might be good news. Melanoma is unpredictable, but I'd think one would expect at least some growth in a nodular melanoma over that period of time. My aunt had something similar to what you describe, and hers was basal cell. Try not to worry.

      JustMeInCA
      Participant

      Something you might take hope in is that, from what you've said, your mom's lump doesn't appear to have grown or changed much over the past year and a half. My dad's primary melanoma was also a small fleshy-pink colored lump, but it grew upwards, outwards and, we later found out, in depth at a very fast pace. Within just a couple months, it had doubled in size and went from the size of a pencil eraser to the size of a golf ball between April and September. His tumor also changed color and became ulcerated. So, the fact that you don't mention any of this about your mom's lump makes me think it might be good news. Melanoma is unpredictable, but I'd think one would expect at least some growth in a nodular melanoma over that period of time. My aunt had something similar to what you describe, and hers was basal cell. Try not to worry.

        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you for the reply.As far as my mom told me,it stayed one size all the time.I am trying not to worry but easier said than done.Currently lying in bed finding that my thoughts are keeping me up.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you for the reply.As far as my mom told me,it stayed one size all the time.I am trying not to worry but easier said than done.Currently lying in bed finding that my thoughts are keeping me up.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you for the reply.As far as my mom told me,it stayed one size all the time.I am trying not to worry but easier said than done.Currently lying in bed finding that my thoughts are keeping me up.
        JustMeInCA
        Participant

        You have to put the worry out of your mind and just think that in the worst case scenario, you'll deal with it. When we found out that my dad's cancer had metastasized to his lungs, I cried for days and pretty much had him dead and buried. But here we are, carrying on and going through treatment. You'll also carry on and be strong whenever that day comes for your mother, whether with cancer or anything else. My whole life I thought I'd never survive losing my mom, but I did because I had to be strong for my dad. And now I'm on the path with him, whether it's this or something else that takes him. I guess what I'm trying to say is to not buy trouble right now, but know that whenever the time comes, you'll handle it. But, honestly, with what you described, I really don't think it will come back as melanoma. 

        JustMeInCA
        Participant

        You have to put the worry out of your mind and just think that in the worst case scenario, you'll deal with it. When we found out that my dad's cancer had metastasized to his lungs, I cried for days and pretty much had him dead and buried. But here we are, carrying on and going through treatment. You'll also carry on and be strong whenever that day comes for your mother, whether with cancer or anything else. My whole life I thought I'd never survive losing my mom, but I did because I had to be strong for my dad. And now I'm on the path with him, whether it's this or something else that takes him. I guess what I'm trying to say is to not buy trouble right now, but know that whenever the time comes, you'll handle it. But, honestly, with what you described, I really don't think it will come back as melanoma. 

        JustMeInCA
        Participant

        You have to put the worry out of your mind and just think that in the worst case scenario, you'll deal with it. When we found out that my dad's cancer had metastasized to his lungs, I cried for days and pretty much had him dead and buried. But here we are, carrying on and going through treatment. You'll also carry on and be strong whenever that day comes for your mother, whether with cancer or anything else. My whole life I thought I'd never survive losing my mom, but I did because I had to be strong for my dad. And now I'm on the path with him, whether it's this or something else that takes him. I guess what I'm trying to say is to not buy trouble right now, but know that whenever the time comes, you'll handle it. But, honestly, with what you described, I really don't think it will come back as melanoma. 

        tschmith
        Participant

        As many of us know, waiting is probably the hardest part!  I have found that I feel lots better when I  pray, listen to music that I really like, get fresh air, watch a funny tv show, go for a walk, or do something nice for someone.  I'd advise her not to do random searches on the internet about melanoma…lots and lots of old data and just plain stupid stuff that does nothing but upset you even more.

         Hoping for the best news possible!  

        Terrie

         

        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you.I must admit I’ve been guilty of this for the last day or two.Looking up all kinds of info on internet is very scary.I’ve been doing lots of praying for comfort.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you.I must admit I’ve been guilty of this for the last day or two.Looking up all kinds of info on internet is very scary.I’ve been doing lots of praying for comfort.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you.I must admit I’ve been guilty of this for the last day or two.Looking up all kinds of info on internet is very scary.I’ve been doing lots of praying for comfort.
        tschmith
        Participant

        As many of us know, waiting is probably the hardest part!  I have found that I feel lots better when I  pray, listen to music that I really like, get fresh air, watch a funny tv show, go for a walk, or do something nice for someone.  I'd advise her not to do random searches on the internet about melanoma…lots and lots of old data and just plain stupid stuff that does nothing but upset you even more.

         Hoping for the best news possible!  

        Terrie

         

        tschmith
        Participant

        As many of us know, waiting is probably the hardest part!  I have found that I feel lots better when I  pray, listen to music that I really like, get fresh air, watch a funny tv show, go for a walk, or do something nice for someone.  I'd advise her not to do random searches on the internet about melanoma…lots and lots of old data and just plain stupid stuff that does nothing but upset you even more.

         Hoping for the best news possible!  

        Terrie

         

      JimS
      Participant
      Mom is very nervous tonight.Saying she’s not ready to die.Wants someone to tell her everything will be ok.This wait is awful
        casagrayson
        Participant

        Jim,

        Tell your Mom that even if it is melanoma, chances are it is at a very early stage.  Anything in situ or Stage 1 has a 5-year survival rate of well over 95%.  (I'm not sure of the exact numbers.)  AND, if it is in a later stage, there are many, many therapies that have come out in the last couple of years that are showing remarkable progress in treating this disease.  Lots of people are learning to "live with melanoma".  

        Telling her not to worry won't help, and will probably feel dismissive to her.  Give her some positive facts to hold onto until you get that pathology report.  And do yourself a favor and stay off the internet except for this site.  Most sites that discuss melanoma have outdated therapies and survival statistics.

        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you,thank you for the info.She seems more positive today while also saying she’s a wreck inside.I’ve had to stop getting on the internet.Too scary.Glad to hear a lot of it is outdated.Determined to get through this but the wait is hard.Thanks again to everyone.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you,thank you for the info.She seems more positive today while also saying she’s a wreck inside.I’ve had to stop getting on the internet.Too scary.Glad to hear a lot of it is outdated.Determined to get through this but the wait is hard.Thanks again to everyone.
        JimS
        Participant
        Thank you,thank you for the info.She seems more positive today while also saying she’s a wreck inside.I’ve had to stop getting on the internet.Too scary.Glad to hear a lot of it is outdated.Determined to get through this but the wait is hard.Thanks again to everyone.
        casagrayson
        Participant

        Jim,

        Tell your Mom that even if it is melanoma, chances are it is at a very early stage.  Anything in situ or Stage 1 has a 5-year survival rate of well over 95%.  (I'm not sure of the exact numbers.)  AND, if it is in a later stage, there are many, many therapies that have come out in the last couple of years that are showing remarkable progress in treating this disease.  Lots of people are learning to "live with melanoma".  

        Telling her not to worry won't help, and will probably feel dismissive to her.  Give her some positive facts to hold onto until you get that pathology report.  And do yourself a favor and stay off the internet except for this site.  Most sites that discuss melanoma have outdated therapies and survival statistics.

        casagrayson
        Participant

        Jim,

        Tell your Mom that even if it is melanoma, chances are it is at a very early stage.  Anything in situ or Stage 1 has a 5-year survival rate of well over 95%.  (I'm not sure of the exact numbers.)  AND, if it is in a later stage, there are many, many therapies that have come out in the last couple of years that are showing remarkable progress in treating this disease.  Lots of people are learning to "live with melanoma".  

        Telling her not to worry won't help, and will probably feel dismissive to her.  Give her some positive facts to hold onto until you get that pathology report.  And do yourself a favor and stay off the internet except for this site.  Most sites that discuss melanoma have outdated therapies and survival statistics.

      JimS
      Participant
      Mom is very nervous tonight.Saying she’s not ready to die.Wants someone to tell her everything will be ok.This wait is awful
      JimS
      Participant
      Mom is very nervous tonight.Saying she’s not ready to die.Wants someone to tell her everything will be ok.This wait is awful
Viewing 11 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
About the MRF Patient Forum

The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

The information on the forum is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.

Popular Topics