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My angel wife

Forums Caregiver Community My angel wife

  • Post
    SteveH230
    Participant

      I am a long-time 'lurker' here and have posted a few times.  I wanted to let you all know how much I appreciate the knowledge, encouragement, and advice shared on this board.  

      My sweet Heather passed away on Saturday, Nov. 9 at the young age of 33.  She was a beautiful redhead, we were married in July 2012, and she was given the stage IV diagnosis 6 weeks later.  She was most recently on the Merck PD-1 trial and scheduled to go in for her 12-week scans yesterday at Vanderbilt.  Obviously the treatment didn't work on her, and I just think she was too far along for it to help her very much.  Though she had met the inclusion criteria to get in, her little body was weak and just slowly gave out.  We didn't expect to lose her anytime soon, but I am comforted that I was holding her, at home, and she was not in pain.  

      She had been in treatment since October 2012 and had mets in the abdomen, liver, spleen, bone, and brain.  The abdominal/pelvic tumors were causing a lot of pain and digestive problems, but we got the pain under control for her last couple of days with stronger meds.  I am so proud of her, she never complained or got angry with her situation, even while doing IL-2, IPI, SRS, carbo-taxol, whole brain radiation, and finally anti-PD-1.  She loved the Lord, and I'm comforted knowing that she has a new body in heaven and no longer suffering.  

      A month before she passed, she helped raise over $22,000 for melanoma research and awareness.  She wanted to be healed so badly so she could devote her life to helping and encouraging others facing a grim diagnosis.  I think she had 600 people at her memorial service this week and equally as many at the visitation.  My heart goes out to all who are fighting this awful disease and their family & caregivers.  

      Bless you all,

      Steve

       

       

    Viewing 44 reply threads
    • Replies
        rebeccasilberman
        Participant

          So Sorry to hear about your wife. She sounds like a very special person and so do you!

          rebeccasilberman
          Participant

            So Sorry to hear about your wife. She sounds like a very special person and so do you!

            rebeccasilberman
            Participant

              So Sorry to hear about your wife. She sounds like a very special person and so do you!

              Bubbles
              Participant

                Dear Steve, 

                I am so very sorry for your loss. The love the two of you shared comes through in every word. Melanoma does not play fair. Wishing you my best. Celeste

                Bubbles
                Participant

                  Dear Steve, 

                  I am so very sorry for your loss. The love the two of you shared comes through in every word. Melanoma does not play fair. Wishing you my best. Celeste

                  Bubbles
                  Participant

                    Dear Steve, 

                    I am so very sorry for your loss. The love the two of you shared comes through in every word. Melanoma does not play fair. Wishing you my best. Celeste

                    ecc26
                    Participant

                      I am so very very sorry to hear this. I was very much hoping the PD-1 would be the one that worked for her. I really am at a loss for words, and I'm not sure anything I can say will make this any better. She sounds like she truly was an amazing and loving person and I think it is good to remember that her suffering has ended and wherever she is she is healthy and happy.Thank you for letting us know.

                      -Eva

                      ecc26
                      Participant

                        I am so very very sorry to hear this. I was very much hoping the PD-1 would be the one that worked for her. I really am at a loss for words, and I'm not sure anything I can say will make this any better. She sounds like she truly was an amazing and loving person and I think it is good to remember that her suffering has ended and wherever she is she is healthy and happy.Thank you for letting us know.

                        -Eva

                        ecc26
                        Participant

                          I am so very very sorry to hear this. I was very much hoping the PD-1 would be the one that worked for her. I really am at a loss for words, and I'm not sure anything I can say will make this any better. She sounds like she truly was an amazing and loving person and I think it is good to remember that her suffering has ended and wherever she is she is healthy and happy.Thank you for letting us know.

                          -Eva

                          hdelancey23
                          Participant

                            So sorry to hear about your loss. She will be in heaven waiting for you and looking down on you most certainly.

                            hdelancey23
                            Participant

                              So sorry to hear about your loss. She will be in heaven waiting for you and looking down on you most certainly.

                              hdelancey23
                              Participant

                                So sorry to hear about your loss. She will be in heaven waiting for you and looking down on you most certainly.

                                Fen
                                Participant

                                  Oh Steve, my heart breaks for you.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  She must have been an amazing person to have focused her energy on helping others through fundraising.    

                                  Fen

                                  Fen
                                  Participant

                                    Oh Steve, my heart breaks for you.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  She must have been an amazing person to have focused her energy on helping others through fundraising.    

                                    Fen

                                    Fen
                                    Participant

                                      Oh Steve, my heart breaks for you.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  She must have been an amazing person to have focused her energy on helping others through fundraising.    

                                      Fen

                                        Maureen038
                                        Participant

                                          I am terribly sorry for your loss Steve. Your wife sounded like an incredible person! Melanoma is such a dreadful disease. Many prayers are being sent your way!

                                          Maureen

                                          Maureen038
                                          Participant

                                            I am terribly sorry for your loss Steve. Your wife sounded like an incredible person! Melanoma is such a dreadful disease. Many prayers are being sent your way!

                                            Maureen

                                            Maureen038
                                            Participant

                                              I am terribly sorry for your loss Steve. Your wife sounded like an incredible person! Melanoma is such a dreadful disease. Many prayers are being sent your way!

                                              Maureen

                                            POW
                                            Participant

                                              Oh, Steve! I am so sorry for your loss! Heather was such a beautiful, strong and loving person and then to have this rotten thing happen to her! I am so glad that you two found love in each other and were able to care for and support each other through such difficult times. I think she chose well when she chose you. 

                                              I hope that you are able to reach out and accept the love and suport of your large circle of friends and family. You did your very best for Heather all along the way, and now it's time to try to be gentle with yourself and heal.

                                              Many of us have lost loved ones to this terrible disease. If there is anything we can do for you, or if you just need a place to vent your feelings, please don't hesitate to post here. We will always be here for you. 

                                               

                                              POW
                                              Participant

                                                Oh, Steve! I am so sorry for your loss! Heather was such a beautiful, strong and loving person and then to have this rotten thing happen to her! I am so glad that you two found love in each other and were able to care for and support each other through such difficult times. I think she chose well when she chose you. 

                                                I hope that you are able to reach out and accept the love and suport of your large circle of friends and family. You did your very best for Heather all along the way, and now it's time to try to be gentle with yourself and heal.

                                                Many of us have lost loved ones to this terrible disease. If there is anything we can do for you, or if you just need a place to vent your feelings, please don't hesitate to post here. We will always be here for you. 

                                                 

                                                POW
                                                Participant

                                                  Oh, Steve! I am so sorry for your loss! Heather was such a beautiful, strong and loving person and then to have this rotten thing happen to her! I am so glad that you two found love in each other and were able to care for and support each other through such difficult times. I think she chose well when she chose you. 

                                                  I hope that you are able to reach out and accept the love and suport of your large circle of friends and family. You did your very best for Heather all along the way, and now it's time to try to be gentle with yourself and heal.

                                                  Many of us have lost loved ones to this terrible disease. If there is anything we can do for you, or if you just need a place to vent your feelings, please don't hesitate to post here. We will always be here for you. 

                                                   

                                                  dhrahn
                                                  Participant

                                                    God bless you Steve!

                                                    dhrahn
                                                    Participant

                                                      God bless you Steve!

                                                      dhrahn
                                                      Participant

                                                        God bless you Steve!

                                                        BrianP
                                                        Participant

                                                          Steve,

                                                          I'm at a loss for words right now I feel so terrible about your loss.  Please take a little comfort knowing that myself and others are praying for you for strength and comfort.

                                                          Brian

                                                          BrianP
                                                          Participant

                                                            Steve,

                                                            I'm at a loss for words right now I feel so terrible about your loss.  Please take a little comfort knowing that myself and others are praying for you for strength and comfort.

                                                            Brian

                                                            BrianP
                                                            Participant

                                                              Steve,

                                                              I'm at a loss for words right now I feel so terrible about your loss.  Please take a little comfort knowing that myself and others are praying for you for strength and comfort.

                                                              Brian

                                                              JuleFL
                                                              Participant

                                                                Dear Steve, I am so sorry for the loss of Heather.  As others have said, she must have been quite a great lady.  I pray for your comfort and peace.

                                                                JuleFL

                                                                JuleFL
                                                                Participant

                                                                  Dear Steve, I am so sorry for the loss of Heather.  As others have said, she must have been quite a great lady.  I pray for your comfort and peace.

                                                                  JuleFL

                                                                  JuleFL
                                                                  Participant

                                                                    Dear Steve, I am so sorry for the loss of Heather.  As others have said, she must have been quite a great lady.  I pray for your comfort and peace.

                                                                    JuleFL

                                                                    GAngel
                                                                    Participant

                                                                      Dear Steve,

                                                                      I am so sorry for your loss; Heather is now truly an Angel.  My thoughts and prayers are with you at this most difficult time. May the memories of  the love you two shared here on earth sustain you until you are reunited again in Heaven.

                                                                      God bless you.

                                                                      Gina

                                                                       

                                                                      GAngel
                                                                      Participant

                                                                        Dear Steve,

                                                                        I am so sorry for your loss; Heather is now truly an Angel.  My thoughts and prayers are with you at this most difficult time. May the memories of  the love you two shared here on earth sustain you until you are reunited again in Heaven.

                                                                        God bless you.

                                                                        Gina

                                                                         

                                                                        GAngel
                                                                        Participant

                                                                          Dear Steve,

                                                                          I am so sorry for your loss; Heather is now truly an Angel.  My thoughts and prayers are with you at this most difficult time. May the memories of  the love you two shared here on earth sustain you until you are reunited again in Heaven.

                                                                          God bless you.

                                                                          Gina

                                                                           

                                                                          Michelem
                                                                          Participant

                                                                            Heart breaks for you ….

                                                                            Michelem
                                                                            Participant

                                                                              Heart breaks for you ….

                                                                              Michelem
                                                                              Participant

                                                                                Heart breaks for you ….

                                                                                Tina D
                                                                                Participant

                                                                                  She sounds so amazing and I am so very sorry for your loss, Steve. I am glad for the eternal hope you both have and I know the Lord will bring you much comfort in the days and weeks to come. What a wonderful lady who was doing all she could to help and desired to just devote herself to helping others. Her impact on others is evident by the vast turnout at her funeral and visitation. I hope you have lots of support and encouragement and help around you and friends to surround you. Prayers for strength and comfort. Again, just so very sorry for you loss.

                                                                                  Tina

                                                                                  Tina D
                                                                                  Participant

                                                                                    She sounds so amazing and I am so very sorry for your loss, Steve. I am glad for the eternal hope you both have and I know the Lord will bring you much comfort in the days and weeks to come. What a wonderful lady who was doing all she could to help and desired to just devote herself to helping others. Her impact on others is evident by the vast turnout at her funeral and visitation. I hope you have lots of support and encouragement and help around you and friends to surround you. Prayers for strength and comfort. Again, just so very sorry for you loss.

                                                                                    Tina

                                                                                    Tina D
                                                                                    Participant

                                                                                      She sounds so amazing and I am so very sorry for your loss, Steve. I am glad for the eternal hope you both have and I know the Lord will bring you much comfort in the days and weeks to come. What a wonderful lady who was doing all she could to help and desired to just devote herself to helping others. Her impact on others is evident by the vast turnout at her funeral and visitation. I hope you have lots of support and encouragement and help around you and friends to surround you. Prayers for strength and comfort. Again, just so very sorry for you loss.

                                                                                      Tina

                                                                                      aldakota22
                                                                                      Participant

                                                                                        Can not imagine the pain you feel.So sorry for your loss.In my prayers tonight.Beat the Beast.       Al

                                                                                        aldakota22
                                                                                        Participant

                                                                                          Can not imagine the pain you feel.So sorry for your loss.In my prayers tonight.Beat the Beast.       Al

                                                                                          aldakota22
                                                                                          Participant

                                                                                            Can not imagine the pain you feel.So sorry for your loss.In my prayers tonight.Beat the Beast.       Al

                                                                                              NYKaren
                                                                                              Participant

                                                                                                Dear Steve,

                                                                                                I am so very, very sorry for your loss.  Words fail me; please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                                                                Karen

                                                                                                NYKaren
                                                                                                Participant

                                                                                                  Dear Steve,

                                                                                                  I am so very, very sorry for your loss.  Words fail me; please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                                                                  Karen

                                                                                                  NYKaren
                                                                                                  Participant

                                                                                                    Dear Steve,

                                                                                                    I am so very, very sorry for your loss.  Words fail me; please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                                                                    Karen

                                                                                                  Swanee
                                                                                                  Participant

                                                                                                    Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts of love and healing as you continue on in your journey with your beautiful Heather remaining in your heart and mind, forever there she will be. 

                                                                                                    Swanee

                                                                                                    Swanee
                                                                                                    Participant

                                                                                                      Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts of love and healing as you continue on in your journey with your beautiful Heather remaining in your heart and mind, forever there she will be. 

                                                                                                      Swanee

                                                                                                      Swanee
                                                                                                      Participant

                                                                                                        Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts of love and healing as you continue on in your journey with your beautiful Heather remaining in your heart and mind, forever there she will be. 

                                                                                                        Swanee

                                                                                                        wilsonjm2003
                                                                                                        Participant

                                                                                                          Steve:

                                                                                                          I can't tell you how painful this is to read.  My wife was also diagnosed with melanoma just this year (less than 30 months after we were married), and at each step we have received the news of progression that we did not want to hear.  Most recently, we learned that the cancer had metastasized to the other side of her neck from where it originally was detected, and to her chest (lung).  I am trying to cope with this reality, and it is oftentimes very difficult because I cannot escape the dread of what may happen down the road.  The love you expressed for your wife, ironically enough, helps give me strength to be there for her as we continue to fight our battle.  I hope you can take the slightest bit of solace in knowing that Heather continues to help others, even after she has gone.  I wish you the best in dealing with your loss, and I offer you all the sympathy and condolences I have.

                                                                                                          wilsonjm2003
                                                                                                          Participant

                                                                                                            Steve:

                                                                                                            I can't tell you how painful this is to read.  My wife was also diagnosed with melanoma just this year (less than 30 months after we were married), and at each step we have received the news of progression that we did not want to hear.  Most recently, we learned that the cancer had metastasized to the other side of her neck from where it originally was detected, and to her chest (lung).  I am trying to cope with this reality, and it is oftentimes very difficult because I cannot escape the dread of what may happen down the road.  The love you expressed for your wife, ironically enough, helps give me strength to be there for her as we continue to fight our battle.  I hope you can take the slightest bit of solace in knowing that Heather continues to help others, even after she has gone.  I wish you the best in dealing with your loss, and I offer you all the sympathy and condolences I have.

                                                                                                            wilsonjm2003
                                                                                                            Participant

                                                                                                              Steve:

                                                                                                              I can't tell you how painful this is to read.  My wife was also diagnosed with melanoma just this year (less than 30 months after we were married), and at each step we have received the news of progression that we did not want to hear.  Most recently, we learned that the cancer had metastasized to the other side of her neck from where it originally was detected, and to her chest (lung).  I am trying to cope with this reality, and it is oftentimes very difficult because I cannot escape the dread of what may happen down the road.  The love you expressed for your wife, ironically enough, helps give me strength to be there for her as we continue to fight our battle.  I hope you can take the slightest bit of solace in knowing that Heather continues to help others, even after she has gone.  I wish you the best in dealing with your loss, and I offer you all the sympathy and condolences I have.

                                                                                                                SteveH230
                                                                                                                Participant

                                                                                                                  Thank you all so very much for your kind words.  I am doing as well as I can hope to.  I have at 2-3 really sad times every day, but then I think of her smiling down on me and remember she isn't suffering any more, and it passes. 

                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                  Later this month, Heather's family and I will be presenting a $26K contribution to the melanoma research team at Emory.  These funds were generated by the MelaNoMo' event in October that Heather helped put on (www.melanomo.org) and from donations given in her memory over the last few weeks.  Our hope is that the money will help other patients and that her fighting spirit will inspire others to never give up.  
                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                  As much as I want to pull myself away from melanoma forever, I can't help but checking back here frequently to see how all of you are doing.  I feel like I know many of you just from following your updates.  You will all remain in my thoughts and prayers.
                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                  Best,
                                                                                                                  Steve
                                                                                                                  SteveH230
                                                                                                                  Participant

                                                                                                                    Thank you all so very much for your kind words.  I am doing as well as I can hope to.  I have at 2-3 really sad times every day, but then I think of her smiling down on me and remember she isn't suffering any more, and it passes. 

                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                    Later this month, Heather's family and I will be presenting a $26K contribution to the melanoma research team at Emory.  These funds were generated by the MelaNoMo' event in October that Heather helped put on (www.melanomo.org) and from donations given in her memory over the last few weeks.  Our hope is that the money will help other patients and that her fighting spirit will inspire others to never give up.  
                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                    As much as I want to pull myself away from melanoma forever, I can't help but checking back here frequently to see how all of you are doing.  I feel like I know many of you just from following your updates.  You will all remain in my thoughts and prayers.
                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                    Best,
                                                                                                                    Steve
                                                                                                                    SteveH230
                                                                                                                    Participant

                                                                                                                      Thank you all so very much for your kind words.  I am doing as well as I can hope to.  I have at 2-3 really sad times every day, but then I think of her smiling down on me and remember she isn't suffering any more, and it passes. 

                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                      Later this month, Heather's family and I will be presenting a $26K contribution to the melanoma research team at Emory.  These funds were generated by the MelaNoMo' event in October that Heather helped put on (www.melanomo.org) and from donations given in her memory over the last few weeks.  Our hope is that the money will help other patients and that her fighting spirit will inspire others to never give up.  
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                      As much as I want to pull myself away from melanoma forever, I can't help but checking back here frequently to see how all of you are doing.  I feel like I know many of you just from following your updates.  You will all remain in my thoughts and prayers.
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                      Best,
                                                                                                                      Steve
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