Melanoma Paranoia?
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Melanoma Paranoia?

› Forums › Cutaneous Melanoma Community › Melanoma Paranoia?

  • Post
    • December 24, 2015 at 3:41 am
    JackJackJackJack
    Participant

    I'm 20 years old and have pretty dreadful anxiety about my health which really stresses me out. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a mole on my thigh that I thought looked weird, it was a bit lumpy and itched from time to time. I went to see a doctor who inspected it closely and said it looked harmles, but to come back if it changes or starts to hurt or bleed at all. Fine! Problem solved!

    Except, yesterday, I remembered a mole on the back of my 18 year old brother's neck, which is a bit large. It's not colossal or anything, perhaps marginally bigger than the pencil eraser which seems to get mentioned as a good reference point. But, still, it's freaked me out. It looks completely normal apart from that, in terms of colour and symmetry and what have you, and obviously it's not my body so I can't say whether he's feeling any itching or pain with it. I know this isn't the place for a diagnosis, but should I be so panicked? Because right now I am so so panicked. I feel like on the one hand, it would be a bizarre coincidence if I got so terrified of skin cancer, turned out not to have it, but then two weeks later found out my brother did all along; it seems more likely that the fear is still gnawing at me and making me get too agitated about a normal thing. But, also, if a mole's bigger than a pencil eraser, you have to get it checked out, don't you? Even if it's only slightly bigger? So, should I point out to him that he should get checked? I don't think he even knows what a melanoma is, so I feel like it's my responsibility, but equally, I don't want to come off as a paranoid weirdo who orders him off to the doctor for no reason. I shouldn't be getting so distressed about this…

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  • Replies
      • December 24, 2015 at 4:04 am
      Janner
      Participant

      The thing to watch for is CHANGE – on yourself and your brother.  The easiest method is photos.  That takes some of the "guess" out of things to be concerned with.  If something continues to change, it's time to remove it.  CHANGING moles don't have to be melanoma (I've had several that were not), they are just a higher risk.  Honestly, I don't give much of the other ABCD's that much heed because a lot of my moles have atypical features.  That's normal for me and since they aren't changing, I'm not removing them. 

      Your anxiety sounds out of proportion for risk.  Yes, it's good to know about melanoma so you can be aware.  But your brother probably just has a larger mole.  If it is normal looking and isn't changing or bleeding or itching or growing, then….. it's probably just a normal mole.   Does it look different from all his other moles?  Is it truly an ugly duckling?

      No one here can diagnose but I can tell you of the MANY MANY times people were so certain their mole was melanoma….. and they never came back after posting their original fears.  Not melanoma.  Anxiety tends to makes things seem like they are inevitable, but that just isn't the case.  Watch for CHANGE, use photographs to eliminate imagination creep, and relax.  If something concerns you, the best thing to do is talk to a derm.  A biopsy is the only method to know for certain.

      BTW, everyone should have an annual skin check – it just make sense.

      • December 24, 2015 at 4:04 am
      Janner
      Participant

      The thing to watch for is CHANGE – on yourself and your brother.  The easiest method is photos.  That takes some of the "guess" out of things to be concerned with.  If something continues to change, it's time to remove it.  CHANGING moles don't have to be melanoma (I've had several that were not), they are just a higher risk.  Honestly, I don't give much of the other ABCD's that much heed because a lot of my moles have atypical features.  That's normal for me and since they aren't changing, I'm not removing them. 

      Your anxiety sounds out of proportion for risk.  Yes, it's good to know about melanoma so you can be aware.  But your brother probably just has a larger mole.  If it is normal looking and isn't changing or bleeding or itching or growing, then….. it's probably just a normal mole.   Does it look different from all his other moles?  Is it truly an ugly duckling?

      No one here can diagnose but I can tell you of the MANY MANY times people were so certain their mole was melanoma….. and they never came back after posting their original fears.  Not melanoma.  Anxiety tends to makes things seem like they are inevitable, but that just isn't the case.  Watch for CHANGE, use photographs to eliminate imagination creep, and relax.  If something concerns you, the best thing to do is talk to a derm.  A biopsy is the only method to know for certain.

      BTW, everyone should have an annual skin check – it just make sense.

      • December 24, 2015 at 4:04 am
      Janner
      Participant

      The thing to watch for is CHANGE – on yourself and your brother.  The easiest method is photos.  That takes some of the "guess" out of things to be concerned with.  If something continues to change, it's time to remove it.  CHANGING moles don't have to be melanoma (I've had several that were not), they are just a higher risk.  Honestly, I don't give much of the other ABCD's that much heed because a lot of my moles have atypical features.  That's normal for me and since they aren't changing, I'm not removing them. 

      Your anxiety sounds out of proportion for risk.  Yes, it's good to know about melanoma so you can be aware.  But your brother probably just has a larger mole.  If it is normal looking and isn't changing or bleeding or itching or growing, then….. it's probably just a normal mole.   Does it look different from all his other moles?  Is it truly an ugly duckling?

      No one here can diagnose but I can tell you of the MANY MANY times people were so certain their mole was melanoma….. and they never came back after posting their original fears.  Not melanoma.  Anxiety tends to makes things seem like they are inevitable, but that just isn't the case.  Watch for CHANGE, use photographs to eliminate imagination creep, and relax.  If something concerns you, the best thing to do is talk to a derm.  A biopsy is the only method to know for certain.

      BTW, everyone should have an annual skin check – it just make sense.

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