Can’t stop over analyzing

Hi Ryan,

I'm glad you caught yours early. When my husband was diagnosed with stage 4a, I freaked out and got my skin checked (twice) and our teenager's skin checked (twice), and I wear sunscreen all the time, and have finally FINALLY gotten my teenager to wear it everyday. My husband still doesn't. I guess he thinks the horse is already out of the barn.

Anyway, the best you can do is go in for year checkups, protect yourself as much as possible, hope for the best, breathe, meditate, stay active, and/or pray, if that's your jam.

Living with uncertainty is hard, but it DOES get easier the more you practice. I've had a lot of practice lately. 😉

Best of luck!

Hello Ryan,

Stage 1b diagnosis 5/1/18, excission 5/15.  The next three months contained 36 punch biopsies with 6 total excissions, 3 of which were atypical.  Someone asked if my derm was money hungry or cut happy…..no, not at all.  She was dealing with an individual who completely flipped out over her melanoma diagnosis and was striving for a 'clean slate'.  An individual, who unfortunately, has many freckles and moles.  She was giving me peace of mind.  

 Being a bit of a control freak, I had a good 3 months of extreme anxiety and panic attacks (hence the biopsies)  to the surprise of many.  I blew thru an inoperable brain aneurysm diagnosis 3 years ago, so why would I completely loose it over this?? It's the 'c' word.  It's sneaky.  It doesn't play fair.  

Here are some things I did to turn myself around.  #1. Gave it to God removing some of the weight and responsibility off my shoulders which in turn helped me understand that I cannot control this and no one has a crystal ball that contains my future.  Only He knows my path and I have faith in Him no matter what.  #2. Stop googling.  Find one or two trusted websites for solid information and leave the rest alone.  This site should be your one..or one of 2.   The majority of the stories you will find are of individuals or studies of individuals who are unfortunately experiencing the ugliest side of this disease.  Yes, bad things happen with this disease but good things happen more often.  At your stages,there's a 95-97% chance you will not see a recurrence which leads me to #3 Train your mind to focus on the positives.  I know it's hard not to focus on that 3-5% but you have not been given a terminal diagnosis. Your odds of being melanoma free at your stages way out weigh the odds of recurrence.  So focus more on your blessings and fear not what you don't have.  #4. Find doctors that you trust.  Peace of mind is extremely important.  It allows you to sleep at night.  I love my dermatologist group but even when they told me I did not need to be seen by an oncologist for a stage 1b…I asked for the referral anyway.  It made me feel more confident that I was crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's. He is a melanoma specialist and has done wonders for my peace of mind.  He looked me in the eye and said 'even tho odds are vastly in your favor that you will never see melanoma again, I cannot promise that you won't.  But I can promise you "we" will be ready'.  I emphasize the "we".  Find someone that makes you feel you have a partner in this journey.  He follows me every 3 months cking my lymph nodes via ultra sound while my derm cks my skin every 3 months.  #5 find a strong support system outside the Drs office.  My family has been my rock…but yes, they got tired of the crying after 3 months and gave me a swift kick in the ass that I needed.  I have a friend whose husband does have terminal cancer (not melanoma).  She has been amazing in understanding the emotional roller coaster and encouraging me to see my blessings and stop wasting precious time crying and fearing something completely out of my control that may or may not happen.  Your physical health truly suffers when you have an anxious mind.

So do what you need to do to find peace of mind, keep your body healthy, have confidence that you are on top of and prepared for whatever may come your way.  Be your best advocate. Focus on the positives.  It does get better.  Live life.   

Prayers for peace of mind and healing.

Wholesale removal of moles is not effective in preventing melanoma because 75% of melanomas appear on NEW moles.  TAKE PICTURES of your skin and your existing moles.  Watch for change.  Take pictures of all your skin so you can see if something new shows up — you have a point of reference.  Make taking care of your body a science instead of a mystery – create a plan that can help you monitor your body and therefore manage your anxiety better.  I don't expect my derm to remove any mole that I haven't identified first as something has changed.  Removing moles just to remove moles is a lot of pain and suffering for something that may be stable on your body for life.  I've had 3 primaries over 26 years.  I have pictures.  I remove moles that change and anything new and different.  I'm still stage 1b after 26 years.  I try very hard to keep emotions in check and use a scientific method monitoring my moles.  This gives me the sense of control I need in a disease where it is easy to feel we have no control.

Phone apps – not a good choice.  Good macro photos – great choice.  Most melanomas are extremely slow growing so you're not likely to see change except over a period of months, not days.  And the internet is only going to increase anxiety if you search – been there done that.  Remember, even sites like this aren't really good for early stagers – they have a skewed population and do not represent those who've had early melanomas that have never come back or they've never had another primary.  No reason to stay here.  This site is for newly diagnosed and the "exceptions" who have progressed.  You see the small percentages here, not the vast majority never dealing with melanoma again.  So please keep internet sites in perspective.

Maybe we'll get lucky and an accurate blood test for melanoma will become available.

Apparently, people are working on this.

https://labtestsonline.org/news/researchers-developing-blood-test-melanoma