Any mothers willing to share their stories?

Hi!  I had a mole removed when I was six months pregnant with my first child 11 years ago.  It came back as melanoma.  I was terrified.  I had the removal done with local anesthetic because I was afraid to have anesthesia while pregnant.  The margins were clear and all was well for the next 10 years.  Now I'm a mother of two with stage IV melanoma.  

I'm not telling you this to scare you.  I think and hope my situation is rare.  I'm just telling you that you aren't alone.  There are many of us that are mothers battling this disease.  You are in a good place because you have caught the melanoma before it has spread.  Try not to worry.  It is so wonderful that you've been screened and have caught this now.  

Good wishes to you.  

Jennifer

Hi,

I am a mom of a 1 year old and a 2.5 year old. I have stage 4. I am scared out of my mind. I had a mole 7 years ago that was stage 2a. Catching your mole in situ is so so so so good! The outlook is really amazing if you get it early. I know it's still scary though. It takes time to get over the initial shock and fear. Slowly it will fade though and you will be back to business as usual enjoying your family. YOU CAN DO THIS!! Be good to yourself and get a lot of hugs. You are going to grow very old and melanoma will be distant memory. YOU CAN DO THIS!!  It's okay to be scared and brave at the same time. Just remember catching melanoma early is the name of the game. Keep up those mole checks and cut it out if in doubt. YOU GOT THIS!!

Hi!  I am a mom of two little boys who had a melanoma in situ removed 2 years ago.  I found it myself and I was absolutely terrified, especially after I went online and Googled myself into a frenzy!  I got some amazing advice from Charlie S. on this board, who doesn't hold back with the straight talk.  He advised me to consider this a "shot across the bow" and get on with my life and just LIVE it.  Be sun-conscious, wear sunscreen, keep your dermatology appointments and be proactive with self-exams.  You have an amazing amount of control over this when you think about it and now that you have had "only" an in situ, you will be especially aware of skin changes and can catch things early.  Us stage 0 people are incredibly lucky to have been diagnosed early – be grateful for this, as shocking as the diagnosis is – as the chance for metastasis is virtually nil.  I am finding as time goes by, my anxiety level has faded, much like my WLE scar.  I think you will find this to be true as well!  Good luck managing your emotions – it IS hard, but you can do it!

I am a mother with melanoma stage 3. My daughter is 22.  But I think what I am going to say holds for parents with children of all ages.  A long time ago, a good friend of mine who is a psychiatrist and family medicine doctor told me that one of the most important roles of any parent is to model behavior in stressful times that is genuine/true/not faked.  That is, we want our children to grow up understanding that there will be stressful times, that it is ok for adults to cry when they are scared, that is ok for us to share our emotions when we are scared or worried or in crisis. So do what feels right, and share what feels right with your kids.  They will react with their own kid views – and they will also support you, and comfort you.  And most importantly, they will learn from.

Hi there-

I was diagnosed on May 8.  I am currently in hold pattern waiting for surgery to take a wider margin and sentinel lymph nodes for staging. I have 4 children. My oldest is 5.5 and the baby is 1 (all almost exactly 18 months apart).  This diagnosis has really made me sit and think too much/often about all the important things in my life. I am scared and a I hate the uncertainty.  While I agree with the post above regarding your children learning from you. I want them to know it is ok to be afraid and to be sad. I also want them to know that life moves forward and it is important to enjoy everyone and everyday.  You caught this early.  Be vigilant and take care of yourself so you can take care of your babies.  God bless you.

 I know this is a few days old so I hope you see this. I am the daughter of a melanoma patient. I am 27, have 2 boys and my mom is my best friend. In January she got sick, didn't really tell me the truth on how she was feeling. We lived 5 hours away and I was so engulfed in my own world bring pregnant with a toddler that I didn't think much of it other than her "being sick". Finally in late January when she was about to not go to her big 50th birthday bash because of it I knew something was wrong. I packed my toddler up and we went to visit Grandma.

When we arrived i couldn't believe my eyes. She was sick. She had an ultrasound and CT scan scheduled the next day but I knew it was bad. I have never seen her not able to run the show or take care of everyone, needless to say very new to me. The following day we found it was bad – liver, kidney, and adrenal gland. The liver was 3x it's normal size and basically shutting down. We spent the next month doing tests and scans before getting a stage 4 melanoma cancer diagnosis. That day I packed her bags and brought her to Kansas City to live with me and get her to a specialist. 

She got worse. The tumors stayed steady but they put her on oxy which knocked her out for days. I had to wake her to eat, drink. We finally started a treatment and within days she was feeling better. After weeks it was her turn to take care of me. She became head strong and acted like my mom again. Finally we talked to a counselor one day after a clinic visit. She broke down, was crying and explained how it affected her. All I could do was sit there and listen. Finally after she was done I just looked at her and said "I love you and it would have been worse having lost you". I would do it all over again. Because you may think you have to be strong, for everyone else but the truth is, if you are scared or feel alone you aren't. I don't know the age of your children and I can understand if they are much younger but don't be afraid to let them in. You are not alone in this journey. I pray you get the best news you can get. Don't slack on the follow up scans, that is what hot my mom 7 years later. Good luck to you and your family.