A new wrinkle

Over the past year or so, after my melanoma diagnosis last May, my husband who is 84 and a confirmed sun-worshipper all of his life, has been having some basal and squamus cell carcinomas removed from his forehead.  We were thankful they weren't more dangerous, altho he felt disfigured (the scars are very small and not very noticiable but they bothered him).  Yesterday he went to his dermatologist for a follow up from the most recent removal.  He did not tell me that three weeks ago he had noticed an odd mark on his left thigh, but knowing he would see the doc, he wasn't too concerned.  The doc took one look and said that's not squamas and wanted my husband to see a general surgeon.  Fortunately, he referred N to the same surgeon who had done my WLE so N knows him.  

The complication is that due to a heart condition my husband N is on coumadin a blood thinner.  The last time they had him off of it for a colonoscopy in 2011 he had a stroke, a mild one, but it left his speech impaired.  When he needed a colonoscopy a few years later, they hospitalized him and managed the blood thinner in a different manner with no problems.  Now he was told he'd have to be off coumadin for 4 days.  We don't know if that's because of a biopsy or an in-office excision.  the dermatologist left the office in a hurry, according to N, as if he didn't want to tell him he had cancer.  

i guess right now all we can do is consult with the cardiologist who oversees the coumadin and the surgeon who will determine the procedure.  Of course, we don't want to go thru stopping the coumadin twice if we don't have to as not only is it potentially life-threatening but stressful as hell.  

I've read on this forum and other melanoma sites that one can't tell by looking whether or not a lesion is melamona, but I've looked at images and N's spot is suspicious, more than mine was.  It's an assymetrical circle with one side kind of pink and the other like a crescent moon kind of white/gray crusty.  It's about the size of a little finger nail.  It's on the front of his upper thigh.  I know I'm worrying before we even know what to worry about, but given my experience where my mole had been on my shoulder forever and didn't look like anything other than a mole except it itched and bleed sometimes and I never once thought it was skin cancer, now I'm much more aware of what could happen.  And N is 84, heart condition, COPD, blood thinners, and could potentially need lymph node removals from groin which would impede his mobility for. while.  A more complicated situation than mine.

In the it doesn't matter category, it seems unfair both husband and wife should have to face skin cancer within a year of each other.  I've hardly gotten used to living with my own anxieties and have put off getting a care team in place due to denial.  Now I need to get it together to support him calmly and with a focus on his experience which will probably be completely different from mine.  In some ways that will be a head game.

He sees his GP today and hopes to see his cardiologist on a drop-in to see if he can coordinate with the surgeon.  His appointment with the surgeon is next Wed.  I remind myself that doesn't mean we have to immediately stop the coumadin.  We can reschedule if we don't have time to get that part done right.  But first I am scared of the risk of stroke, and then I am scared of the biopsy results, and then of course I am scared of the surgery and risk of coumadin again.

Long story as I'm prone to, but if anyone one has gone thru this themselves or with a loved one, I'd appreciate hearing your stories.  I also wonder if at 84 N's high risk of stroke when messing with coumadin outweighs the risk of possible melanoma.  Any thoughts would be appreciated.  

By the way, to update my first post from a few weeks ago, the spot on my inner lip has darkened.  I have to wait 5 weeks for the dermatologist, but I do have one now and I also have a melanoma oncologist appointment in early Sept.  This forum and those who responded to my post encouraged me to climb out of my cave.  THank you!