Re: Noticing New Addictions

After my diagnosis I was depressed and frightened all throughout spring and summer. I was terrified of the sun and hid in my house during the day, just sitting and reading everything I could find about mel on the internet. I gained about 7 maybe 8 pounds in the following 6 months and smoked more than usual. I developed a wheeze and terrible cough.

After 6 months I became disgusted with myself and did an about face. Right after Labor Day I started dancing with weights for exercise and started to eat healthy. I quit my 50+ year smoking addiction and still I managed to lose a few pounds in spite of quitting smoking. Several months later I ruined my right knee while dancing and high kicking, but still managed to keep the weight down over the winter months. I substitued the eating and smoking addiction with chewing gum addiction. Not good when you have lost most of your lower teeth and a partial torques against the remaining anchor teeth when chewing gum. I quit that addiction too this spring, I credit an expensive (to me) new wardrobe and strong resolve to look good.

This summer I planted trees, shrubs and flowers and just a few weeks ago adopted a small dog from the SPCA whom I walk 2-3 times a day.

I refuse to cower indoors and deprive myself of the things I have always loved and enjoyed.

I refuse to let fear rule me. If I get hit by a car, die in a plane crash, get a different cancer or the mel spreads, well so be it. In the meantime I will live my life to the fullest and enjoy whatever is left to me. There is no do-over and I don’t want any regrets.