Re: Noticing New Addictions

Yes,

Not that I didn’t have a little bit of an addictive personality before MM got tough with me. But, in 2003 when I advanced to stage 3, my life was pretty tidy. I did a party (I AM  a musician) but I was also in great shape. I was extremely careful about my diet, and had a stringent work out routine.

In 2003 when I went on interferon, I quit drinking entirely, and..didn’t really eat much either. I lost a lot of weight on interferon but I also quit lifting, quit all of my exercise routines, because I was just too exhausted all of the time.

After interferon it was like I went on a ‘celebration diet’ I began eating and drinking like crazy. The Champagne and Brie diet I called it. I gained 50nev lbs, and I have not lost it. I’m at my highest weight ever, and still don’t exercise.

When I advanced to stage 4, I got even worse.

I still function well in my life. I nursed my stepmom thru the end of her battle with Pancreatic cancer, never missed a gig, and  I’ve worked very hard with the band gettng our CD finished and produced and printed this year. But I drink every day. AND..I eat whatever I feel like eating with no concern about the consequences.

It’s like I don’t even care about heart disease or diabetes anymore..sure that melanoma will get me first.

I don’t think it’s that uncommon either. It’s true that SOME people face cancer by getting extra healthy their routines. They become vegetarians, go on macrobiotic diets, will only eat organic and become exercise fanatics. I’ve done the opposite..and I imagine plenty of others do the same.

Maybe part of it has to do with the fact that I WAS so healthy when I advanced. I WAS eating right and being moderate and exercising, and it SO did not work fo me..that I have no faith in that path, so it doesn’t call to me anymore.

Instead..I guess I am in that ‘grab each moment’ camp. I go to festivals every weekend and play music for 8 hours..and for 3 or 4 of those hours, I’m drinking whisky and howling at the moon.