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At the end of the course, we were given our watches back and allowed to turn our mobile phones back on, but there was no hurry to do so.I think we all wanted the timelessness of the last six days to continue and I guess we also needed time to let all our new revelations sink in and become part of us.I knew that it would have survived just fine without for me a few days and when I did turn the laptop on and check it, I’d got more ‘likes’ than I normally would have!I need to let go of expectation and wanting to control everything.There’s so much more that’s going on just under the awareness of our conscious minds and by thinking we want things to be a certain way, we miss the magic and mystery of life.I mean, this was full body reverberations of love and joy.It was an awesome experience.‘We are more than our physical bodies’.The feeling of love and familiarity with the people in the white dome session was something that I can’t explain and can’t rationalise.I left the beautiful setting of Sangsurya Retreat Centre with the simple message ‘Open your heart to love’.I went into the retreat with exploding expectations, and I came out with my heart exploding instead.My intelligent left brain was too busy being the cynical sceptic so it was blocking anything that wasn’t straight up and down and purely logical, the way most of society sees things.But more and more I was coming to realise that ‘definitely’ is not the way things work on the other side and I had to change the way I approached things.If I wanted to talk to the dead myself and do what mediums do, I would have to completely trust a new process and then put it to the test.I was getting used to being forced to change my perspective on things and I’ve since started to welcome it.I mean, who doesn’t love a good challenge?I loved his straightforward, nononsense and logical approach with no mention of beliefs, heaven, Jesus or any another religious or airy fairy mumbo jumbo.For example, you may get an impression of a Rose and you may think the person kept roses, but in fact it’s the name ‘Rose’ that was being conveyed.What drew me to Bruce’s work is his almost scientific neutral approach to the subject and it wasn’t overloaded with suggestive, religious imagery and wording.Rarely do you hear a stream of dialogue.I could say think of a toaster and you’ll get the impression of it first before you see it in your mind’s eye.Impressions or a sense of something is just as valid as ‘seeing’ it or ‘hearing’ it.A lot of information comes through as symbols and metaphors.Write down everything no matter how random it could be.It may be controversial, but it seemed important as a way of empowering people to find things out for themselves.But could I do it myself?I’d been doing a sort of haphazard style of meditation for years, which was so random and unstructured that any real meditation guru would shake their head and call me a lost cause.Even though I wanted to see if I could contact Clare, I knew I wasn’t ready to do that as I couldn’t tell if I was just creating something from my own memories or actually making a genuine connection.I also had this niggling feeling that she wasn’t ready either.Now I know that most people already think I’m strange, but to do this experiment properly I had to find people who were just as strange as I am, because asking anyone else ‘I’ve got no experience in this, but do you mind if I try to make contact with your dead grandmother?’ wouldn’t go down to well.You just ‘like’ each other’s photos of lunch and the odd joke or two.Well, I found one and I was about to put her to the test.Luckily Trish, who was into the same stuff I was into, and even ran her own paranormal investigation team was happy to help me.All she needed to do was give me the name of a person who had died, with the idea being that you have the least amount of information about the person as possible, preferably just a first name.Trish kindly gave me the name of her dad, Paul, who had passed away only recently.What if I got it all wrong and was completely off the mark?I’d look like a dickhead and possibly destroy the friendship.This was a big risk to take, but you don’t get anywhere by not trying.I wanted the answers.I wanted the personal experience.I wanted to see if I could do it.
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